Expert reveals the sex question your kids are most likely to ask

A sex and relationships educator has revealed the surprisingly grown-up question she’s now asked most frequently by kids.

Move over, “where do babies come from?”

A sex and relationships educator who’s worked with children for more than 30 years has revealed the surprisingly grown-up question she’s now asked most frequently by kids.

“Nearly every day,” Rowena Thomas recently told ABC News, a curious youngster will quiz her, “‘What does the number 69 mean?’”

As reported by the New York Post, Thomas explained that children hear the number being giggled about on the playground or discussed by older students. Not wanting to seem out of step with their peers, children will often turn to their parents or trusted adult supervisors for an explanation.

About 15 per cent of children report that they first saw pornography before turning 11, the American Academy of Pediatrics reported. Picture: iStock

The reveal comes as children are being exposed to pornography and other sexually frank materials at increasingly younger ages, thanks to greater access to technology and a proliferation of explicit content that has outpaced monitoring capabilities and regulation efforts.

The majority of American children receive their first mobile phone between the ages of nine and 14, according to Statistica, and about 15 per cent of children report that they first saw pornography under age 11, the American Academy of Paediatrics (AAP) reported. Around 20 per cent and 38 per cent of kids between ages 11 and 17 reported watching porn in the last year.

Thomas suggests that adults answer questions that arise calmly and matter-of-factly with age-appropriate information, and to validate the child’s curiosity instead of shutting down the conversation.

“Parents think that immediately they have to go into talking about oral sex, but that’s not what the kids are asking. The kids are just curious, the number 69, what on earth does it mean?” she explained.

The expert did note that what’s deemed age-appropriate can vary by child.

“But every child is definitely mature enough to be talking about this stuff, in an age-appropriate way, according to where you think your child is at,” she advised.

Experts advise that parents and trusted adult supervisors allow children a safe space to ask questions about sex so they don’t turn to the internet for answers instead. Picture: Ethan Miller/Getty Images North America/AFP

“We [also] need to be talking about the dangers of pornography, just like we talk about the dangers of swimming in a rip or riding a bike without a helmet,” Thomas advised.

“Parents aren’t talking about it because they don’t think that their nice child would watch pornography – very nice kids watch pornography because they’re curious.”

However, she did clarify that “not every kid is watching porn, but a couple of kids in the class are watching porn, you can tell in nearly every class”.

“They get shown stuff, they get air-dropped pictures, they’re maybe at a friend’s house … and they want to fit in.”

The AAP also cited data that shows teens who have difficult relationships with their parents or have experienced authoritarian parenting styles are more likely to intentionally seek out porn.

UNICEF has declared that it is “alarmed by the massive quantity of pornography available online, including increasingly graphic and extreme content that is easily accessible to children of all ages”.

“As soon as a child gets access to the internet, we should be saying to them: ‘If you see a naked picture online, I would be so proud of you if you tell me’,” Thomas advised.

This article originally appeared on the New York Post and was reproduced with permission