Em Rusciano: Don’t call me a Bad Mother

EM RUSCIANO responds to THAT article. Of all of the insults hurled at her last week (lefty feminist scum being her favourite) there was one thing that cut to her core.

Holy media tsunami, Batman!

You write one little column on how you don’t mind if your kids curse from time to time, and ‘social commentators’ are on morning TV predicting that your children’s occasional swearing habit is their gateway drug to life in a crack den. That actually happened. I couldn’t make it up if I tried.

You can read my article “Eastside or Westside, which gang should my kids join?” here.

Of all the things I was called last week (lefty feminist scum being my absolute favourite) there was one term hurled at me multiple times I feel the need to discuss.

I was called: A Bad Mother.

For most women who have spawned, ‘Bad Mother’ is the drone strike of insults. It is the nuclear bomb of unkind words. A super-charged smear designed to cut to the very core of a maternal soul.

“Hey lady, that most profound of your life missions you’ve undertaken? Yeah, you’re screwing it up. Those two small humans you love more than anything else in existence? Yeah, they’re damaged goods now, thanks to you.”

Look, I accept that my topic of choice was a provocative one and I also want to point that there were plenty of people who managed to disagree with me in a respectful fashion. You know — without calling for my children to be removed from my custody.

However there were many, many helpful helpers who so kindly offered their opinions anonymously. Their opinions being that I was a terrible, neglectful Mother raising disrespectful future criminals.

I don’t believe that calling someone a Bad Mother is an acceptable thing to do. Unless there is a serious concern that a child is being physically or emotionally harmed, we need to back up off that kind of crap.

Em Rusciano: Don’t call me a bad mother.

I truly believe that most of the time we’re all doing our best, or at least a version of it. You can’t possibly ascertain the quality of someone’s parenting from observing one moment in time. You don’t see how many trips to the emergency room that parent has made, how many nights they’ve stayed up late making costumes, cakes or doing homework. You haven’t been there for the tender moments before bed time or the reassuring hugs before the first day at school. You don’t get to write a parent off from one snap shot, that’s just bullshit.

That being said judging others has become the number one form of entertainment in the western world. Social media has allowed us to basically reinstate the Roman colosseum — where it was a thumbs up thumbs down type situation. A thumbs down meant you’d be fed to the lions.

It’s far more sinister now though. On the internet you don’t have to show your face. These days you can order the lions from the comfort of your own couch and no one will ever know.

Have I been guilty of judging another parent? Yes of course!

Recently I saw a mother yelling at her child in the supermarket. She was really letting him have it, inches from his face. From what I could gather, the kid just wanted to be picked up out of the trolley and given a hug.

My first reaction was: ‘bloody hell lady just give him a squeeze and be done with it’. However I managed to catch myself. For all I knew, she’d already embraced him 10 times in the frozen section. For all I knew she’d been up with him all night and had run out of love to give at that particular moment. I didn’t know and so therefore I wasn’t in a position to comment.

What’s that saying? Walk a mile in a Mum’s moccasins… Blah blah blah… Don’t judge.

Suggestion: Go and offer to help the next time you see a parent in over their head. Four hands during a Defcon one, 3-year-old tantrum are better than two.

I propose that anyone who feels the need to throw around the term ‘Bad Mother’ should be legally obliged to provide their home address so that a task force (that I will set up and staff with someone like Super Nanny Jo Frost or Bain from Batman) may visit their residence and conduct a thorough investigation of their parenting.

These bitches had better be prepared too. There will be photos taken and we will NOT be using filters.

Em Rusciano is a comedian, writer, singer and regular News.com.au columnist. She is currently touring her new stand-up show “The Motherload”. You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.