Between a Frozen costume and a hard place

SHE’S got sweet powers, but is basically a jerk. And now, writes Em Rusciano, Elsa is causing a family feud.

QUESTION: What would you do if your three year old nephew wanted an Elsa from Frozen costume for his birthday, but his parents asked you not to buy it for him?

A pal of mine recently found herself in this very dilemma and I had to think long and hard about what to tell her when she asked for my advice.

Obviously a big part of me, the main part, wanted to advise her to buy the costume, complete with sparkly blue pumps and blonde wig. Then the parent part of me sparked up and felt that if I’d specifically asked someone NOT to give my kid a particular item and then they did it anyway, I’d be somewhat annoyed with them.

Your kid, your house, your rules right? I feel that way about those books with puzzles in the pages, the ones where all the pieces fall out the second you open them. HATEFUL — they belong in Satan’s garden with kinetic sand and Playdoh.

No matter what your own feelings are on an issue, you must respect the wishes of the parents in these situations, right? Maybe they want to protect him from being teased? I honestly don’t know, so I’m not going to judge their actions.

What I do know is that whenever he gets to daycare he rushes to the dress-up box, fights off the other little girls there and frocks up like a champion. He watches Frozen every day and thinks that Elsa is the boss.

If I’m being completely honest, my heart hurts a little bit for this kid. I think it’s magical that it hasn’t occurred to him this character doesn’t exactly fit societies preordained gender role for him. I don’t think he is making a statement about his sexuality at the ripe old age of three. I think he just wants to pop on a sparkly blue dress, get mad snow powers and freeze s***.

My friend pressed the issue with them a few times and was met with resistance each time, that they didn’t want him dressing in a costume meant for a little girl. So I’ve thought about it and if it were me, I would buy him the costume and keep it at my house. So that when he came over he could pop it on and terrorise me with his rendition of Let It Go.

It would just be our thing, he’d be in a safe space to princess it up and there would be no need to be concerned about teasing or ridicule.

The thing is, I just can’t imagine anyone giving him crap for wanting to wear that crushed velvet, icy blue, deb ball gown in public. Surely he would only be met with delighted and amused smiles? Are you telling me you would laugh and point at a little boy dressed as a princess? Am I being naive to think we’ve moved on from this crap? Blue is for boys and pink is for girls?

If he was my kid? He’d wear it whenever he wanted to and I would teach him how to handle the negative things people may or may not say if and when it happened. Surely you just have to let kids be kids. Imposing gender roles on children that young can only limit their imagination and personal development.

Finally, as his parent, I’d be more concerned that he identified with someone who thinks it’s cool to freeze over an entire town and plunge it into an eternal winter. Someone who, instead of hanging around to hand out warm cardigans and blankets, goes off into the woods, builds a an ice castle and hangs out with an abominable snowman.

Because when you think about it, Elsa is kind of a jerk.

Em Rusciano would be more concerned with a boy relating to Elsa’s attitude, than wanting to wear her dress.

Em Rusciano is a comedian, writer, singer and regular news.com.au columnist. You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.