22yo reveals her 417 reasons she refuses to have kids
A 22-year-old woman has revealed her 417 reasons why she is choosing not to have children, with the notes sparking a huge reaction.
A 22-year-old woman has revealed her 417 reasons why she is choosing not to have children, with the notes sparking a huge reaction.
Rylee Evert, from the United States shared her list of 417 reasons why she was choosing not to have children after Australian TikToker Danni Duncan asked people why they were opting not to start a family.
Ms Evert’s list includes everything from “I hate children” to “I could give birth to a stillborn and the pregnancy is worth nothing”, “They’re so dramatic” and “They interrupt”.
Her final reason not to have children?
“I have 417 reasons to never have children and not a single reason to have children,” she said.
Speaking to news.com.au, Ms Evert revealed she started putting the list together two years ago and has been adding to it ever since.
“I started babysitting about nine years ago and learning more about what actually goes into being pregnant and having children of your own,” she said.
“People really don’t think about the reality of having children, they just think about how cute they are or how they’re expected to have children.
“As the list grew, I realised that I had so many reasons to never have children and not a single reason to have children (hence the last item on the list).”
Her video has been viewed more than three million times in the past week, she has added 16 reasons since she posted it bringing it to the 417 figure.
To Ms Evert’s surprise, her list has mostly had a positive response.
“As a parent, I support this list,” one person said.
Another said: “The limit does not exist.”
“I have three kids and I also don’t want kids,” one added.
“Why was the first one I saw ‘they throw mangoes at houses and break windows’,” one asked, to which Ms Evert said kids in her mother’s neighbourhood did this.
One added: “I couldn’t find one lie on this list.”
“And as valid as every single reason is, that is the only one you need in the end,” one said.
One commented: “My two kids who are now grown probably cost me $250k.”
“I’m a mum who wasn’t planning on kids and I have two adult kids. I love them, they’re my favourite people. And I fully support your list. Number One should be enough of an answer for people,” one said.
Ms Evert said she was relieved by the kind words people had said.
“Most of the feedback I have gotten has been supportive, either people who also don’t want kids or people with kids who agree, which was the most surprising part,” she said.
“It’s really relieving and validating. Usually people attack women for not wanting kids so I’m glad my posts have reached the right people.”
However, she is no stranger to facing criticism for her choice to not have children.
“Women are expected to want and have children, and living in the US, they’re sometimes forced to. People say I’ll change my mind when I’m older or I have no purpose if I don’t have children or I’m selfish to not want children,” she said.
“However, I would much rather regret not having a child than regret having one and putting all that weight on them, a child does not define my purpose, and I don’t care if people think it’s selfish to put my life above giving birth.
“Honestly, I think it’s more selfish to have a child just so someone can take care of me when I’m older or so someone can carry on my ‘legacy’.
“Also, the world will be either on fire or underwater by the time they’d be able to enjoy it so I would feel more guilt than anything for bringing someone into a world like that.”
However, she said she feels that more people are agreeing with her than ever before, saying that people are thinking about what actually goes in to having a kid.
She said cost is the biggest contributor to that.
“Clothes, strollers, car seats, healthcare, insurance, diapers, more food, toys, childcare, college, the list goes on and it all adds up,” she said.
“People my age can barely afford rent, how do people expect us to be able to pay for kids?
“I also think more people are becoming aware of everything that happens to your body when you’re pregnant. People can literally die from giving birth or even just being pregnant, and with abortion bans spreading across the US, I sure don’t want to risk it.”
She said she wants to make it clear that she isn’t judging people who choose to have children, saying it’s more about really reflecting on financial and emotional readiness.
“I’m not telling other people to not have kids, I’m more just trying to spread awareness about what pregnancy and raising a child entails — as I did not know much before I started the list — and to let people know that it’s OK to not want kids,” she said.
“It’s also OK to have a kid and not want more. It’s OK to not want to give birth and adopt instead. It’s OK to wait until you’re really ready. It’s OK to accept how hard being a parent is and that it’s not for everyone. It’s definitely not for me. It’s the 21st century, your life’s purpose is not defined by having a child. It’s your life, the choice is yours.”