Help! I’m so tired I almost breastfed the cat

IT'S a weird friend-of-a-friend story, but it’s true. And as parents, we’ve all been there (figuratively speaking). Nicola Anderson investigates parental fatigue and tips for coping.  

tired parents

“YOU know when you’re so tired,” says my husband, “that your hair actually hurts?” Oddly, I do. As parents of a two-year-old and four-month-old, our hair hurts a lot these days.

We’re also constantly snippy, forgetful, clumsy, lethargic and incapable of basic decision-making. In short, we often feel hung-over but with none of the fun to show for it.

If you have young children, my guess is you’re nodding (and yawning) as you read this.

Fatigue impacts parents and kids 

According to Dr Julie Green, Executive Director of the Raising Children Network, fatigue is a common experience for parents in the early parenting period, with mums the hardest hit.

“About two thirds of mothers have reported persistent tiredness six months after having their baby,” she says.

The impacts can be serious, with research revealing a link between maternal fatigue and poorer mental and physical health including increased stress, anxiety and depression.

And it’s not just parents who suffer.

Dr Green says higher fatigue in parents has been associated with lower confidence and satisfaction in parenting; and more irritable and frustrated parenting behaviour directed towards children.

In one study, 62 percent of participants strongly agreed that tiredness got in the way of them being the parent they would like to be.

Wake up! There’s an “i” in parenting

While raising children is inevitably exhausting, Dr Green says we can make life easier by prioritising – get this – ourselves!

“If you’re well,” she says, “as a parent you’re more able to look after your baby or child.”

It’s not selfish, it’s smart.

But with so many demands on our time, where do we begin? Here are some tips from Dr Green and many wise mums and dads that might help:

•Catch up on missed sleep. Go to bed early, rest when your kids are napping and take turns with your partner to sleep in on weekends

•Make time for your partner every day to talk, listen and de-stress. The rigours of child-rearing can place immense strain on couples, so it’s important to look after your relationship

•Share the workload. Make sure dad is hands-on and learn to ask for and accept help from family and friends 

•Aim for quality sleep. Make your bedroom a sanctuary by keeping sheets fresh and cleaning regularly. Also, avoid stimulants like caffeine and screens (including smartphones) before bed

•Exercise. If you can’t find time for your pre-kids exercise regime, get active together by walking with the pram or joining in rambunctious play. This is great for your physical and mental health and children will love it too

•Eat healthily. This can be difficult when you’re busy, so plan ahead. Make meals in bulk to freeze and have snacks like fruit and nuts on hand. Also drink plenty of water

•Take time out. Parenting is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. Pace yourself by taking breaks throughout the day and committing to regular time without the kids

•Work smart, not hard, at home. Prioritise important jobs and relax on the rest. Look for shortcuts like shopping online, cleaning the bathroom while children are in the bath and only picking up after kids once a day

•Get connected. Join a playgroup; participate in online forums; and use reliable online resources. Also seek help if you’re feeling really low. Common things like depression and thyroid problems may require professional oversight

•Enjoy your kids. It can be a colossal effort sometimes, but letting your kids’ energy rub-off on you is a real mood-lifter

This article originally appeared on Kidspot.