Expectant mums find reality is unexpected

MUMS-to-be expect to enjoy a glowing pregnancy but the reality is fatigue, information overload and a sagging sex life. How was it for you, mums?

Alanna James

MUMS-to-be expect to enjoy a glowing pregnancy but the reality is fatigue, information overload and a sagging sex life.

The journey to motherhood includes depression for one in five women, while a third of expectant mums are baffled about exercising safely, according to a new survey.

Fatigue was the most difficult aspect for 60 per cent of women, while 56 per cent complained pregnancy negatively affected their sex life.

The study, conducted by Women's Health Bump magazine, also found women were surprised at the difficulty they had conceiving, with a third of women reporting it took longer than expected.

Does the reality of being a mum meet with expectation? Tell us below

Prior to giving birth, a third of women spoil themselves with a "babymoon" holiday, but financial pressures will see 42 per cent back at work after their baby turns 10 months old.

Felicity Harley, editor of Women's Health Bump, said the research suggests women need to be more open with each other about pregnancy and motherhood.

"I think we need to be frank with ourselves that it might take a while and not necessarily reassure other women with flippant comments like, 'You will get pregnant easily'," Ms Harley, who is expecting her first child, said.

"The other thing that was surprising is 20 per cent of women we surveyed had pre- or post-natal depression. We don't really talk about prenatal depression and everything that is happening when you get pregnant.

"But everything from body image to how you feel about your body to putting on weight and juggling everything can make people feel down."

Exhaustion and aches and pains are the most common unexpected pregnancy side-effects reported to midwives, said Liz Wilkes, vice-president of Midwives Australia.

"Fatigue before and after the birth is the biggest thing I hear. Women have no idea how tired they are going to be," she said.

"During pregnancy women are surprised by different things like the amount the baby moves, stretching feelings, stabbing pains.

"And lots of things after having a baby surprise them, like how much conflicting advice they get."

Alanna James, 26, whose son Roy is nine weeks old, said she worried about exercise during her pregnancy.

"I went from being quite fit and very active to being massive and not being able to do those things. I wasn't getting the endorphin hit I normally get so I struggled with that a bit," she said.

"I was working full-time and completely exhausted at the end of the day and a bit nervous about what in pregnancy you can and can't do."