Mum on TikTok asks toddler before changing nappy to teach consent

The mum says she is teaching her son “bodily autonomy and consent” by ensuring he always feels “empowered” while changing his nappy.

A mum in the United States has revealed how she teaches her toddler son “bodily autonomy and consent” while changing his nappy.

Alissa runs TikTok account @once.upon.a.mama where she shares her methods of “emotionally intelligent parenting” with more than 200,000 followers.

The 32-year-old single mum and teacher from Chicago this week posted a video demonstrating how she uses the idea of consent while nappy changing.

“I’m taking your pants off, OK?” Alissa asks her son before removing his trousers, also informing him that she is “taking off his diaper”.

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Alissa uses nappy changes to teach consent. Picture: TikTok/@once.upon.a.mama.

She always explains what she is doing to her son. Picture: TikTok/@once.upon.a.mama.

In the caption Alissa explained that she did this despite the fact that toddlers “cannot consent to diaper change” as it’s a “necessary care task”.

“So I interact with my son as I change him and explain what I’m doing as I do it, so he at least feels part of the process,” she said, adding that her son will also interact and mimic her noises as a result.

“The goal is to make him feel more involved and not like a passive observer having his body manipulated,” Alissa said.

“I want him to be building this foundation for his body autonomy and consensual interactions later in his life.”

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She also shared her tips for other parents. Picture: TikTok/@once.upon.a.mama.

Alissa thanks her son throughout the nappy changing process, telling him afterwards he has done a “good job”.

For other parents who want to teach consent during nappy changing she advises them to start by explaining what they are doing while they change them.

Parents should also interact with their child during the nappy change through “conversations, songs, questions”.

If a child does not want to have their nappy changed, Alissa advises explaining to them “why you must change them” or giving them “a structured choice”, like offering to do it in two minutes’ time instead.

Viewers admitted that while the idea seemed ‘weird’ at first it was actually a good lesson to teach. Picture: TikTok/@once.upon.a.mama.

“They feel empowered over their body and must-do task gets done,” she said.

Alissa’s video has been viewed over 100,000 times, and while some viewers said the concept seemed “weird” at first, most agreed it was a good way to teach children consent.

“I saw this and thought it was ridiculous, then I watched it,” one person commented. “What an amazing mum you are, this is how it should be done.”

“First I thought this was weird, then I remembered I do the same thing with my elderly residents (with less baby talk) so they don’t feel uncomfortable,” another wrote.