‘My nanny comes with us on holiday and people tell me I’m a terrible mum’

“No wonder your baby looks so uncomfortable around you, she probably hates you,” was one of the harsh comments the mum-of-one received.

When Danae gave birth, she was over the moon. Following fertility struggles, the influencer welcomed her rainbow baby in January. 

Famous for her relatable and body-positive content, the mum-of-one frequently shares the raw side of life. 

But her recent snaps have sparked a debate, with some labelling her a “terrible mum”. 

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Danae welcomed her daughter in January. Source: Instagram

Influencer received messaging declaring her a “terrible mum”

During a holiday to the Maldives with her husband and newborn, she shared that she was also bringing her nanny.

She's described the reaction she received as "difficult" and "vicious".

The content creator has been told “things like ‘I thought you wanted this baby, but now you can’t wait to pawn her off to someone else,’” she explained. 

Other messages said, “'no wonder your baby looks so uncomfortable around you, she probably hates you,’ and ‘you’re a terrible mum’, which is awful to hear,” she continued. 

The caption accompanied a video of her “holiday morning routine” with her baby, husband and nanny. 

She questioned whether the reaction she received is why she continued “pulling back on mentioning just how much, how extensively, having a nanny has helped.” 

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The mum was "shamed" for bringing her nanny on holidays. Source: Instagram

“So many women in the public eye have nannies”

Continuing with her lengthy post, Danae explained that she has recently received messages from other mums who “felt guilty for their ‘failure’ to manage motherhood” as “effortlessly”  as the influencer did, “particularly when it comes to things like travel.”

She stressed she had “full-time, paid professional help” that accompanied them on their holiday. 

“My instinct is that so many women in the public eye have nannies too, but don’t speak about it for lots of reasons,” she continued. 

She further said she rarely shares anything outside her "sparkly, happy baby moments".

“I don’t really share Aurora’s grumpy moments or crying moments or sleeping moments because usually, I’m focused on calming her down, not filming our interaction,” she said as an example. 

Her advice to other mums is to “navigate motherhood as best you can” and to “be kind to yourself”. 

“[Motherhood is] magical and complex and full of the biggest love any of us could ever imagine,” she said. “But it also comes with the constant feeling of doing it wrong. And the burning desire to do it better.” 

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Danae has hit back at trolls online. Source: Instagram

Mothers feel “judgement everywhere”

After sharing the post, the influencer was flooded with comments of encouragement. 

“People say ‘it takes a village,’ and then proceed to judge you harshly when you pay said village to assist.” one supporter shared. 

One person shared the double-edged sword of motherhood. “Judged for being a stay-at-home mum, judged for going back to work, judged for struggling, judged for getting help... Judgement everywhere,” they said. “And yet no one judges dads for any of it.” 

Nannies also supported the post, praising the influencer for her “transparency” and supporting the industry.

“Nannies are so often left out of the story and it gives many people unrealistic expectations when they think people are managing things alone,” one commented. 

But some didn’t agree with her post. “Must be nice for you,” one wrote. “Help isn’t something I’ve had with my kids and it’s hard and tiring. You have no clue about real parenting.”

Originally published as ‘My nanny comes with us on holiday and people tell me I’m a terrible mum’