‘World’s best house party’: What I saw when I ‘died’

Dying is a morbid thought but the chance to see what could happen in the moment of death can be a big comfort.

How ‘death meditation’ is leaving Aussies enlightened. Photo: Supplied

What’s your relationship with death?

Many of us typically avoid thinking about it, that’s until someone we love deeply dies, or we’re given a stark reminder about our mortality, through something like a health scare.

But to contemplate death is to explore the value of life.

While death places in sharp focus how we live, it remains an uncomfortable topic throughout western culture, and something we’re arguably taught to be afraid of from a young age.

Which is why Australian meditation teacher Luke McLeod’s invitation to take part in a ‘death meditation’ conjured up equal parts curiosity and fear.

Luke McLeod is a leading Australian meditation and mindfulness teacher. Photo: Supplied

Through this practice, which he’s developed and regularly takes part in himself, Luke believes there’s nothing to fear when it comes to thinking about death.

Instead there’s an opportunity to lean into a greater sense of appreciation for what we already have.

In fact, Luke makes the ‘death meditation’ experience a regular monthly commitment.

“It’s a really confronting type of meditation, particularly if you embrace it and you’re open to it,” he told news.com.au.

“It’s using your meditation practice as a simulator of some sort, to really strip everything away, to put yourself in the mindset as closely as possible that everything has been taken away from you, whether that be family, friends or even material things.

“It’s not comfortable when I do it. It’s a mental exercise and it’s fascinating how real it can feel, what’s going on in your head is real when you do that.”

‘Death meditation’ is a style which helps to explore the preciousness of life. Photo: Supplied

Many people use meditation to work through emotional issues or challenging chapters, but for Luke, it was initially a practical tool to manage general work stress during his twenties.

“A lot of people I looked up to at that time were in business or sport, and a lot of them meditated, and I found that really fascinating,” he said.

“I thought back then meditation was something hippies did and it was a bit woo-woo.

“I was really curious because all these people I look up to did it, and I thought if they did it, there must be something to it.

“So I got into it originally for that reason, and I found it did help me with my work, I found I was clearer throughout my day, I wasn’t procrastinating as much, I was getting more done, and I used it for close to four to five years as a productivity tool.”

Meditation teacher Luke McLeod guided me through a ‘death meditation’. Photo: Supplied

Fast forward six months, and a rapid series of events saw parts of Luke’s life “completely implode”, with a 10 year relationship ending, a business venture failing, a falling out with a best mate, and his brother-in-law revealing a cancer diagnosis to his family.

Feeling like he had nowhere else to turn, Luke dived deeper into his meditation practice, exploring healing styles which helped unlock and process emotions, and deal with trauma.

“After that, I was like ‘wow there’s something really incredible to this practice’, and I’ve been teaching it and doing whatever I can to share that since that journey,” he said.

“This involved me going to India, throwing myself into a lot more of the traditional spiritual practices and now I’m just fascinated with it, and I’m just trying to share it with as many people as possible.”

Author and meditation guru Luke McLeod has worked with thousands of people around the world. Photo: Supplied

A man of his word, Luke has spent almost two decades using meditation to help thousands of people across the world, including CEOs, celebrities, and high performance athletes, and is now one of Australia’s most popular thought leaders in the meditation and mindfulness space.

The culmination of these experiences is Luke’s debut novel Everyday Enlightenment, a practical toolkit aiming to make many different styles of meditation accessible for everyone.

As the title suggests, the novel also offers a deeper exploration of styles for those seeking greater happiness, wisdom and enlightenment, and this includes the ‘death meditation’, which I was eager to try.

‘Death meditation’ is a simple and subtle style which helps pinpoint the important people and experiences in your life. Photo: Supplied

“Let it all wash away.”

Luke’s voice on the other end of the phone is calming as I roll out a yoga mat in my living room.

I’ve been recently exploring a lot of meditation and breathwork (which Luke describes as “best mates” and should be used together), and the start of the session feels pretty familiar to some of these other experiences.

Closing down my eyes, I plug in my headphones and can hear music playing softly in the background.

Luke invites me to connect with my breathing, and I place both hands on my stomach as I inhale and exhale.

“Take a deep breath in, and a slow breath out.”

We explore different areas of tension in my body, around my forehead, neck and jaw, with the intention of just noticing what’s happening, and simply tuning into myself.

Interestingly, as soon as you begin breathing into a specific area, the body relaxes and releases.

“Melt into the floor, and let your body feel heavy”, Luke continues.

Entering a deeper state of relaxation, I’m asked to pay attention to sounds: Luke’s voice on the phone, the traffic outside, even the white noise in between his words.

Luke McLeod’s debut novel ‘Everyday Enlightenment’ is out now. Photo: Supplied

Next, I’m asked to imagine a room, a familiar setting that’s filled with all of the people in my life that I care about.

As the visualisation continues, I can start to make out all of their faces, it’s like throwing the world’s best house party and everyone important to me is invited.

Friends, family members and colleagues, they’re all there.

Which makes the next part very confronting: I’m asked to imagine all of these people disappearing one by one, completely dissolving away in front of me like black ash.

During this part of the meditation, I can actually see this moment playing out in my mind’s eye, as people start breaking down in front of me, floating away into a void like dust.

Luke spent several months in India studying different styles of meditation. Photo: Supplied

“Let it all wash away,” Luke continues, asking me to next picture the whole room fading to black, and turning my attention further inward in complete darkness.

“How does it feel to now be completely alone? Sit in that for a minute.”

“Now, I want you to take this feeling, and see yourself floating through this space, this nothingness”.

This is a very isolating place to be guided to, with the everyday volume and distractions of life completely turned down, I’m able to appraise my life in a very unusual, focused way.

I’m not feeling too anxious or worried, but the isolation is very confronting and feels very real.

Undergoing a ‘death meditation’ experience gave me a fresh perspective on life. Photo: Supplied

Thankfully this doesn’t last long, moments later, the meditation comes to an end, with Luke inviting me to journey back into my living room and open my eyes.

The crux of the experience? A little bit like holding up a mirror, through stripping away all the material components to my life, I’m left with a perspective on what really matters.

And it’s not a new perspective either, perhaps more like a helpful and gentle reminder about what’s meaningful in my life.

I was admittedly a little concerned that I’d be actually instructed to visualise the events of my own death and funeral, and relieved this was not the case.

Meditation and mindfulness teacher Luke McLeod does a ‘death meditation’ every month. Photo: Supplied

Instead, Luke simply invited me to consider what life would be like for a moment, with everything and everyone I care about taken away.

“The wonderful thing is when you open your eyes and through that experience you realise that’s not the case,” Luke explains afterwards.

“I still have all these wonderful people, I still have all these things in my life, and it just brings about this real sense of gratitude and appreciation for the things that you do have, and realising all the things you don’t have, which we stress so much about, it really doesn’t make that a bigger deal anymore.

“It’s quite a stoic practice, I know the stoics talk about practising poverty, it’s more of an extreme mental exercise which yes, can be confronting, but I still think is a worthwhile and important exercise to try and do fairly regularly.”

In the days after the ‘death meditation’, I am still feeling very much like myself, and it hasn’t been overwhelming or destabilising.

Rather, the strength of the experience comes with its subtle and simple insights, reminding me about everything that matters to me.

And that can only be a good thing in the pursuit of living a happy, healthy and connected life.

Troy Nankervis is a freelance writer and producer. You can follow him on Instagram.