Genderqueer mum reveals moment her agender child ‘came out’ as a boy

Zoomer’s genderqueer mum has recalled the “special” moment he revealed that he preferred male pronouns over they/them.

The mum of a child who lived an entirely gender neutral life for their first four years of childhood has revealed their firstborn’s preferred pronouns.

Dr Kyl Myers, who moved to Sydney from the US with her husband Brent Courtney and their child Zoomer in November 2020, made the announcement online last month.

During a “pronoun check” in March last year, she said Zoomer told her something “quite special”.

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Dr Kyl Myers and her son Zoomer. Picture: Instagram

“I asked, ‘What pronouns are you into for yourself these days, Zoomer?’ And Zoomer responded, ‘I love he/him!’” she wrote in a recent post to Instagram.

“I smiled [and said], ‘that’s awesome, Zoomer. I am so happy you found pronouns you love’.”

Since the exciting conversation, Dr Myers had informed their family and friends, as well as Zoomer’s teachers, that he would now be using male pronouns.

“Everyone got on board and made the pronoun switch,” Dr Myers said.

The parents would still occasionally use gender neutral pronouns out of habit, which Dr Myers said Zoomer was also comfortable with.

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Zoomer's parents Brent Courtney and Dr Kyl Myers. Picture: Instagram

“We caught ourselves using they/them and quickly corrected to he/him. Zoomer told me once, ‘It’s okay. I like they/them, too’,” she wrote.

Dr Myers recalled explaining that if Zoomer had found pronouns he loved, it was important to her that she used them.

“Zoomer has used the term ‘boy’ to describe himself a few times, but still prefers the terms ‘kid’ and ‘person’ and just being called Zoomer,” she added.

While Zoomer had alluded to which gender he felt best as, his mum said his male identification gave others “no information about his reproductive anatomy”.

Additionally, she said he knew he was allowed to change his mind at any point.

“Zoomer knows he can use he/him pronouns for the rest of his life, alternate pronouns like I do, forego pronouns, or invent new ones. The gender creative adventure doesn’t stop here,” she wrote.

Dr Myers, who identifies as gender queer, began writing about “gender creative” parenting in 2015, and in September last year, released a book on the topic titled Raising Them.

As a genderqueer sociologist, Dr Myers advocates for the “mountains of evidence showing how harmful the gender binary can be to children”.