What it’s really like to have a panic attack (from someone who just had one)

INCOHERENT and convinced he was going to die, Tyson Wray ended up in the emergency department this week. He was having a panic attack.

When a panic attack strikes at work

HAVE you ever felt like you were about die? Or that you may be about to suffer something so horrific that your life would be forever altered?

That’s what it’s like to have a panic attack. As I realised for the first time on Wednesday afternoon while I was at work.

At 4pm my head began to tingle. I’ve frequently had headaches/migraines from an early age, so this was rather normal. Ten minutes later, my head swelled with a feeling I can’t quite describe — the closest I can come is to say it felt like I was listening to the highest pitched noise the human ear can hear and the pain it caused was relentless.

I paced the office, my heart began to rsace, I started sweating profusely and then was unable to form proper sentences.

It hit me: I was about to die.

I was having an aneurysm, a heart attack or perhaps a stroke.

I was rushed to the emergency room. By the time I was seen by a doctor I was delirious, unable to coherently answer their questions. I was asked for my address, I couldn’t remember it. Apparently I asked them to tell my family I loved them if I didn’t make it through.

After being given a Valium and comfort from the nurses, my blood was taken, and I was strapped up to, uhhh, some beeping medical thingy. Slowly, but surely, the feelings began to recede. I no longer felt as if I was about to face the Reaper. I no longer felt that I was never going to be able to say goodbye to my loved ones. I was shaken, but I was OK.

After five hours, and with my heart rate stabilising, I was discharged from the hospital. The doctor told me that I had suffered a severe panic attack. It’s apparently quite common for first-time sufferers to call emergency services. I’d never read or heard much about what panic attacks were, but as I left the hospital to start the 30-minute walk home to clear my head (or course my friends, family and co-workers offered to drive me but I refused) I began to piece together the trauma of the past few hours.

Yesterday I visited a doctor. Describing my experience, he relayed the information of how common panic attacks are. I had no idea. I wish I had.

Approximately 35 per cent of the population will experience at least one panic attack in their lives, and some of those will have recurring effects that morph into panic attack disorder.

Many factors can trigger them — in my case, it appears to have been a history of mental illness (I’ve been treated for depression for the past decade), engaging in too many extra-curricular activities (going out four to five times a week) and a diet that was unhealthy and too reliant on caffeine. The last straw appears to have been the death of a member of my local community.

Most sufferers from panic attacks experience them in their early adulthood. I’m 25, a prime candidate, but the experience was an epiphany. I’m actually glad that I felt I was on the verge of death, as the thoughts that rushed through my head highlighted what’s really important in my life and what I should focus on in the future. I need to change my lifestyle and hone in on what really matters. It was a wakeup call, to say the least.

I’m writing this piece not for sympathy, but to voice an experience that is not often spoken about. I wouldn’t wish the experiences I had on Wednesday on my greatest enemy (of which, let’s be honest, I have many). It was horrific — to legitimately feel that my life was coming to a cataclysmic end.

There’s a great chance that either you, a friend or a loved one will one day experience a panic attack — and I want you to have comfort in the knowledge that it is just that. It’s a terrible thing, but it will pass.

Take care of yourself and those who you love.

Tyson Wray is a writer and editor from Melbourne. Follow him on Twitter @tysonwray. He sincerely thanks the Alfred Hospital in Prahran for their tentative and warm staff getting him through this ordeal.

For more information on panic attacks please visit the Better Health website.