Men’s mental health: Aussie blokes, I’ll let you in on a big secret — you’re not alone

Australia is in the grip of a men’s mental health crisis despite big efforts to reverse shocking statistics. There’s a big thing victims are missing.

OPINION

For the past seven days, to mark Men’s Health Week, news.com.au has been highlighting the serious issue of men’s mental health and the male suicide epidemic in Australia.

From all of the stories with survivors, the loved ones of those who’ve died and the people trying to turn around the shocking statistics, one thing is clear.

Men are terrible at talking about how they feel and reaching out for help when they need it.

The data shows us that men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women, even though they’re just as prone to mental illness challenges.

We know that blokes are unlikely to get help — service providers say for every four women seeking treatment, there’s one bloke.

And I think I know why.

Australia’s male suicide crisis shows no signs of improvement.

I’m no psychologist, but I speak to a lot of them pretty frequently about these issues and there’s a common theme that keeps coming up.

Every man struggling with some serious issues believes he’s the only one.

Those who’ve come out the other side and have shared their experiences with me say it too. Part of the reason they didn’t reach out is because they thought they were, for lack of a better word, crazy.

Whatever was going through their head felt so awful, so shameful and so unique that they believed no one else had ever thought it before.

Those feelings — the ones easy to identify and the ones that made no sense — had never been felt by another bloke.

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But I have a secret for the men of Australia who find themselves reading this.

Absolutely nothing that you think or feel is unique. Someone else has battled your battles, grappled with your thoughts and felt burdened by your feelings.

You’re not a weirdo. You’re not a freak. And you’re not uniquely broken.

If a problem shared is a problem halved, then we men need to start sharing really urgently, because thousands of us are dying every year.

It’s not getting better. All the money thrown at treatment and awareness campaigns isn’t shifting the needle.

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A big barrier to men seeking help for mental health issues is the false belief that they’re alone.

Of course, there are lots of other barriers that stop men from saying something when they’re hurting.

It’s awkward. You don’t know what to say. Feeling vulnerable feels weak. You don’t want to be a burden to your mates. You have to be strong for the sake of your family.

That’s understandable.

But you owe it to yourself and your loved ones to be well, and it’s very possible to be healthy. It starts with a single step.

“Hey, I’m not doing OK.”

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It’s as simple as that. People will listen, they will love you and they will help you get help.

There are a plethora of support services waiting to hear from you right now if you’re in crisis, and a whole bunch of effective treatment options too.

I’m not talking about a hospital or some stuffy shrink’s office, if the idea of that makes you cringe, but workshops designed by blokes, for blokes.

They’re not intimidating. They’re not kumbaya circles. They’re friendly and they get you.

Please reach out.

If you or someone you know needs help, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au