Dr Zac Turner on how to cope in small apartments in lockdown

Young people living in small apartments in Sydney and Melbourne are “cooped up like sardines” and “turning on” each other.

Welcome to Ask Doctor Zac, a weekly column from news.com.au. This week Dr Zac helps us all cope with lockdown.

Question: Hello Dr Zac, Argh! I could just scream from my frustration at being in lockdown again. I live in a tiny one-bedroom apartment in Prahran in Melbourne and I can’t move back in with my parents because my father is extremely high risk (to Covid). I speak to my friends in Sydney and they are feeling just as horrible. They are four people cooped up like sardines in a two-bedroom flat and they’re starting to turn on each other.

How are we supposed to manage ourselves, and our relationships, during lockdown? This is a new frontier for everyone, and I feel we are all failing at this point. – Theodore, Victoria

Answer: Thanks for your question. I feel you may know what I’m about to say, but, have a glass of water and take 10 deep breaths. You are correct, we haven’t experienced anything like lockdown before. So don’t be too hard on yourself.

RELATED: Doctor sums up AstraZeneca risk perfectly

Being back in lockdown is hard on many people’s mental health. Picture: NCA NewsWire / David Geraghty

Last year I worked with one of the world’s leading experts on stress and trauma, Dr Scott Lyons. He’s a New York native who became stuck in Australia at the start of Covid – lucky him.

Despite being isolated in the relative safety of Australia, he continued patient consultations via video throughout the height of New York’s deadly first wave when there was so much despair. His patients were living in smaller confined spaces then we have in Australia, and were at breaking point due to the uncertainty of Covid at the start of the pandemic. He’s since returned home but his knowledge and methods have stuck with me.

A conversation I vividly remember having with Scott is his insistence that Australia is the Lucky Country, and I believe it still is. He thought Australia had so much going for itself in comparison to New York City, be it fresh air, fresh food and a less dense population. These are all still true today, and my first of many recommendations is that you remind yourself of this.

RELATED: Secret women’s issue no one talks about

We are very lucky in our Aussie cities to have open space. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Nicki Connolly

Remind yourself what you are grateful for

You need to always remind yourself what you are grateful for. You are healthy, alive and able to still communicate with your friends. There has been a lot of traumatic news stories about other countries this week whose citizens have devastatingly lost control of their lives. So, you should make a list of what you still have control of, where your support comes from and every day read this list out loud to yourself. (Don’t worry, no one will hear!)

Positive affirmation is a powerful tool in debunking any stress and anxiety creeping up in your life.

Break up your day with achievable tasks

You may feel your days are disappearing, and that you may not be achieving anything. A quick fix is to focus on your daily duties you do have control of, and get those tasks done. You’ll feel a great sense of accomplishment, and will continue on in your roll to smash your other daily tasks. These can be things such as planning out a weekly meal schedule and sticking to it, or finally making that budget you’ve always wanted to.

Give yourself a pat or two on the back

And don’t be a stranger to self-love. Give yourself a foot or head massage, you’ll be surprised at how quickly it can dispel your loneliness. Another way to be kind to yourself is to limit social media and news consumption. Dr Scott Lyons would always say, “If you start to zone out while scrolling or watching, you need to log out.”

I always recommend checking the clock before you begin scrolling and set a five-minute alarm time to stop scrolling, respond to friends and then do something else.

RELATED: Doctor reveals reason men go bald

If you find yourself doom scrolling then put down your phone.

Count sheep to fall asleep

Regular sleep is vital to physical and mental health. If you aren’t getting the proper seven to eight hours every day, you will begin to struggle. I recommend you put your phone away at least 30 minutes before you sleep, and lie down in bed and try to read a book or even knit. If you aren’t into either of those, download a mindfulness app and listen to a session in bed. I recommend low volume and minimal screen time. If you feel mindfulness apps are too serious for you, I’ve discovered a brilliant app called Laughscape where 50 of Australia’s top comedians read you bedtime stories. It helps people struggling with stress, overthinking and insomnia – furthermore, the basic version is free!

Now for your friends in Sydney, I’d like for you to share with them my advice on how to live with each other in close proximity:

Set clear boundaries

All flatmates in lockdown need to sit down at the table and set out clear boundaries, and express their particular needs. One flatmate may like to watch Ellen in the morning in silence, another may like to eat lunch on the back step. If everyone is aware of each other’s boundaries, then the risk for conflict is low. Heck, if all couples did this there’d be far fewer divorces as you know what’s important from the outset.

Find time alone from your partner

I’m assuming it’s two couples living together, which adds a whole new dynamic to the situation. Any couple in lockdown should set out time alone, and should design a space in the house or apartment that is their very own. Sort of like a cubby hole that no one else has access to. They should also set out ‘date nights’ and cook something special and open a nice bottle of wine.

Decide when to have sex, and seek help with any intimacy problems

It may even help to set out specific days in which they will have sex. Many people find discussing sex difficult so maybe this is a good time to book in an online sex therapist or Tantric expert that looks at how we communicate emotionally and sexually individually, in couples and in friendships. Many therapists encourage through self-love and stimulation you will only enhance the connections and relationships you have, though keep that in the bedroom.

Schedule in sex if you need to.

Don’t bottle up your emotions

My biggest piece of advice is to not bottle up your emotions. This causes inflammation in the body, which reduces immune functions and may put you at risk of being sick. You should express the emotions you are feeling. If you can’t find a friend or family member who will listen, there are medical practitioners and hotlines readily available online via mobile. In fact, researching some self-love techniques looks like pretty fun homework.

You can do this!

Dr Zac Turner has a Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery from the University of Sydney. He is both a medical practitioner and a co-owner of telehealth service, Concierge Doctors and is also a qualified and experienced biomedical scientist, past Registered Nurse and currently a PhD candidate in Biomedical Engineering. | @drzacturner