‘Constant fear’: Inside the grim reality 1 in 6 Australians face

After Jas Rawlinson’s dad took his own life, something truly scary happened that she never saw coming.

Ever since she was a little girl, Jas Rawlinson has suffered from anxiety.

Growing up in an unpredictable and violent household, the Brisbane mum recalls feeling an overwhelming sense of fear and worry from a very young age.

The trauma that unfolded inside the four walls of her childhood home had in turn impacted every facet of her life.

She was left feeling anxious and stressed about pretty much everything: things at home and school, upcoming exams and assignments, her relationships with friends and family, her body and the pressure of looking “pretty”, as well as worrying about both her present and her future.

Jas has struggled with anxiety most of her life. Picture: Supplied / Louise Wright

Her father was violent. Living through that, she always believed if he was no longer around that she might feel “normal”.

Sadly, this was far from the truth.

After he took his own life when she was just 18, her life reached a breaking point and the feelings of anxiety within her exploded as she was left feeling a confusing mixture of guilt, loss and even relief.

“My mental health issues only escalated from here,” Jas explained to news.com.au.

“It left me with even more layers of trauma after he decided to take his life rather than reach out for help or be accountable for his behaviour.

“This left me with more layers of trauma. This resulted in a lot of drinking and risk-taking behaviour, in an attempt to escape from the depression and anxiety.”

Jas said that her anxiety would manifest in different ways throughout her teenage years and into adulthood, but at the time, it was hard to recognise what she was feeling.

Australia is in the grips of a mental health crisis, and people are struggling to know who to turn to, especially our younger generations. Can We Talk? is a News Corp awareness campaign, in partnership with Medibank, equipping Aussies with the skills needs to have the most important conversation of their life.

She shares her experiences to help raise awareness. Picture: Supplied / Louise Wright

Being a person who is also neurodiverse, she explained that she was never certain whether her anxiety was due to childhood trauma or if it was already part of her genetic makeup.

“Even something as simple as being two minutes late to see a friend, or not arriving early to a concert would leave me feeling as though the world was going to end,” Jas said.

“It also resulted in me pursuing a lot of unhealthy relationships. I was just so nervous and anxious about ever hurting anyone’s feelings.

“Although my anxiety has eased over the years, especially after being in a healthy relationship with my husband for over 12 years, I do still struggle at times.”

Jas recalls how her lowest point came after she gave birth to her son, as becoming a mother made everything feel more intense and difficult.

She was plagued by the constant fear and lingering worry that something bad was going to happen to her child.

“Going through more than a year of sleep deprivation, and my husband being away for six months with work, left me feeling more fragile than ever,” she recalled.

Jas has found different methods to help deal with anxiety. Picture: Supplied

“I remember moments where I was sitting on the floor crying because I was so overwhelmed, or just living with a constant fear of something happening to my baby.

“Not enough people talk about the way that motherhood and our innate biological need to protect our babies can increase anxiety and lead to a constant fear of something going wrong.

“But it’s very real. Even now, I generally run on a fair amount of nervous energy.”

While she feels her anxiety is usually triggered by certain situations rather than a constant state of being, when an attack does occur, it can be debilitating.

“During an anxiety attack I feel like my skin is crawling and I can’t sit down,” she said.

“I have to move, I have to eat, I have to do something. My stomach feels like it’s hollowing itself out and my throat feels tight and constricted.

“In the aftermath, I can suffer from stomach pains, bloating and gastro-like symptoms for a full day afterwards – especially if I’ve had a PTSD trigger.”

Over the years, Jas has found different ways to cope with the common condition.

“I’ve chosen to stay away from anti-anxiety medications,” she revealed.

“I’ve had good experiences with a psychologist who I’ve seen on and off over the last 10 years, but to be honest, ‘talking’ has not often gotten to the root of my anxiety or fears.

“For me, the most effective tool has been the use of EFT/Tapping. I use a lot of Brad Yates’ videos on YouTube, and they’ve helped me enormously.”

She sometimes gets anxiety when public speaking.. Picture: Supplied / ME Photography

While it can be intense at times, Jas said these tactics can help tremendously in dealing with anxiety when it arises at different times throughout her life.

“It’s incredibly debilitating and exhausting,” she explained.

“Having to exert so much energy thinking and worrying about things going wrong, or threats (whether real or unlikely) is mentally taxing.

“The lack of sleep, the way it destroys relationships and convinces some of us to isolate, or to engage in risky behaviours in an attempt to silence the anxiety is real and debilitating.”

The mum added that she feels Australia could be doing more to raise awareness and that there needs to be more options available for treatment, rather than always relying on medication for every case.

“I’d like to see more focus on lived-experience stories and what has worked for those experiencing anxiety,” she said.

She wishes there were more options to help Aussies suffering from anxiety. Picture: Supplied / Louise Wright

“I’m not here to demonise pharmaceutical options, but too many doctors try to put people straight onto anti anxiety medication, which may not be the right fit.

“They may also cause side effects that they’d rather avoid, when something else may be more effective.

“For example, most people aren’t aware that engaging in weight/resistance training twice per week, for eight weeks, has been scientifically proven to greatly reduce anxiety.

“Journaling, EFT, and finding the right balance of nutrients/exercise can also help a lot.”

Jas Rawlinson is an award-winning anti-domestic violence speaker, survivor-advocate and best selling author.