What it’s like to go sober: 5 things I learnt when I gave up alcohol

Melbourne mum Jacintha Field, 38, was left reeling when her first night out after having her little boy took an unexpected turn.

I haven’t always been sober. Many years ago, I worked behind a bar and I remember going from sober to drunk in five minutes.

Towards the end of my shift, I free poured myself the biggest, strongest, and quite honestly the most disgusting glass filled with vodka and sugar (simply to ensure I could stomach it) and I downed that baby in two seconds flat because I needed to “catch up” with my already-drunk friends.

Not surprisingly, this behaviour eventually landed me in hospital. I woke up one morning, peering through half-closed eyes to see a doctor standing over me. I looked at him and said, “I knew this would happen one day” and fell back to sleep.

I made this situation into a joke and told everyone this “funny” story about that time I completely wrote myself off.

Looking back, I’m quite mortified. This is not a funny story and was not at all a funny situation – in fact it was a cry for help from someone who didn’t know her place in the world. It was self-hatred and an extremely dangerous way of living life.

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Jacintha Field gave up alcohol in 2016.

The turning point came when my little boy Axel was 18 months old and I had my first night out since he’d been born. I’d been breastfeeding so hadn’t had alcohol for over two years. That night I went straight back to my old ways of downing espresso martinis and having a good time. But then everything started spinning. I was sick outside my Uber and had to be escorted home.

The next day I felt so dreadful, I had two greasy breakfasts and my hangover lasted five days.

Since that night I’ve been sober for 1628 days.

In that time I’ve learned to live without alcohol and I feel so much better for it. But there are ups and downs to being alcohol-free, here are five things I’ve learned since I stopped drinking.

1. I LOOK GOOD AND FEEL SO MUCH HEALTHIER

Gone are the banging headaches on a Sunday morning, instead I might go for a run or do some yoga. I’ve done two half marathons since I gave up alcohol and I have more confidence in my body and mind.

I don’t eat junk food anymore, although I still have a weakness for chocolate and hot chips. The biggest change is my skin. I used to have cysts on my face but now my skin is glowing and is so much smoother.

Jacintha Field gave up alcohol in 2016.

2. YOU WILL LOSE FRIENDS

I’ve 100 per cent lost friends because I no longer drink. Many people think I’m judging them, which is certainly not the case. I believe a lot of the underlying issue is that some people don’t want to drink but the peer pressure makes them feel like they have to.

But you also gain new friends from not drinking – more people come into your life who are more aligned. Through organisations like Hello Sunday Morning you can connect with like-minded people who also choose not to drink.

3. THERE ARE MOMENTS OF WEAKNESS

There are definitely times when I’ve thought it would be easier and more socially acceptable to have a drink. Weddings for example are full of people who’ve had a few drinks and have lost their inhibitions.

Seeing everyone around me having fun makes me wonder if I should just have one or two to loosen up. But once everyone’s up and dancing the feeling is infectious, I love dancing and have realised I don’t need a drink to do it. It’s more mind over matter.

Jacintha Field gave up alcohol in 2016.

4. I DON’T NEED IT TO COPE

I recently went through a painful separation and while in the past I might have used alcohol to get through this, I now realise I would have just been using alcohol to mask my emotions. It’s been a very challenging time. I’ve had to sit with my pain and allow myself to feel and cry – without using alcohol.

5. NEVER SAY NEVER

I’m not saying I’ll never drink again. Maybe one day I’ll decide to have a drink or two, although I can’t see that happening any time soon. If I have a moment where I do want to pick up a drink I ask myself “how will this make me feel tomorrow?” Often we live for the moment, I switched that to living for the future.

Read more about Jacintha’s journey at Happy Souls by Jacintha.