Like Belle Gibson, my friend faked having cancer

BELLE Gibson is not alone. Em Rusciano also had a friend who faked a cancer diagnosis and got caught.

THE public shaming of Belle Gibson reached the gladiatorial arena on Sunday night with her much hyped interview on 60 Minutes.

Over a million Australians watched from the stands as the “disgraced wellness blogger” failed to take responsibility or even apologise for her actions.

Not surprisingly, Belle was given a resounding thumbs down on every platform of social media available and thrown to the lions shortly after.

What Belle did was very wrong and I’m not here to defend her indefensible actions. I am here to tell you about my friend, who like Belle, pretended to sort of have cancer.

I will be vague in my recounting of this story as I am not in the business of publicly ruining another person’s life.

This woman was one of my very close friends - my kids loved her, she came to family functions and she was in the inner circle.

I’d like to point out that her deception was no where near the level of Belle Gibson’s. She didn’t ask for any money nor did she give false hope to other people with cancer.

To cut a very long saga short, this person said she had an irregular Pap test result, then needed some minor surgery, then had some more irregular tests that needed escalation, that probably meant she had cancer. Probably, there was never a defining conversation where she said “Em I have cancer, I am going to die.” It was more, “they told me they are pretty sure it’s cancer, what am I going to do?”

This all happened over many months, when she got the first lot of results I reacted as I’m sure any of you would have. With concern, worry and an overwhelming need to try and make things better for her.

Over time though I started to have doubts, she seemed reluctant to actually go and get proper treatment, she missed crucial doctors appointments and was still going on weekend-long party benders. She was not behaving like someone in the early stages of cervical cancer. Still, calling bulls**t on a close friend’s possible cancer diagnosis is not something I felt comfortable doing.

What if I was wrong?

Turns out I wasn’t.

She wasn’t as committed to the lie as Belle was. She hadn’t bothered to work out her end game for her diagnosis. In the end she just seemed to hope that I would forget about all the desperate phone calls, sleepless nights and last minute, cross-town, mercy dashes to comfort her in the middle of the night as she contemplated her own mortality.

She began brushing over the topic when I would inquire about her latest check-up and cut me off if I even headed anywhere near her health in conversation. Basically, she lost interest in having cancer.

Watching Belle reminded me of when I confronted this person, the strange justifications for her behaviour, her absolute resoluteness of not having done anything wrong, that she was in fact a victim of incorrect diagnosis.

It was very upsetting for both of us, it’s not something I have spoken about to anyone really. I think because in some ways I wanted to protect her and perhaps I was embarrassed about being so easily manipulated.

I understand a part of what drives people like Belle and my friend to lie about something so significant is a desire for sympathy, love and attention. I just get lost at the part where they feel the need to make up a serious illness to achieve that.

As people start to lose interest in Belle Gibson’s story as I believe they already are, I wonder what is she left with? I wonder if, in the ultimate quietness a public shaming can bring, she’ll finally be able to reflect on and take responsibility for her behaviour.

I’m also interested in her husband’s role in all of this. Was he aware? How does he feel about her now? And I find myself wondering what she will tell her son when he is old enough to understand what his mother did. Ultimately though, that is none of my business, right?

As for my friend and I, we no longer speak. I would have remained in her life had she accepted responsibility for her behaviour and agreed to seek help. At the time, she refused to do either.

I hope that, with the passing of time, she has sought treatment for her mental health issues, I really do.

I also hope the same for Belle Gibson.