‘Is crying in the workplace OK or inappropriate?’

A doctor has highlighted one thing that is normal and healthy – unless you find yourself doing it too regularly.

Sometimes you just need to let it out. Picture: iStock

Welcome to Ask Doctor Zac, a weekly column from news.com.au. This week, Dr Zac Turner talks about whether crying is normal and healthy in the workplace.

Question: Hi Dr Zac, I’m a struggling middle manager currently dealing with burnt out employees and upper-managers with backwards philosophies.

I had one employee cry in the workplace, and I was told off by management for telling this person it’s okay to cry. They said it’s inappropriate to cry in the office, and that it will make the situation worse.

I don’t think that’s true, because I know it always feels amazing after a good cry. Who is right in this situation? Is it healthy to cry?

Max, Melbourne

Sometimes you just need to let it out. Picture: iStock

Answer: This is a very important question, and one that aligns with the current conversations happening in the post-Covid workplace and in fact my own work place.

Before we dive into this fascinating topic, let me just start by saying that if you find yourself bursting into tears regularly you should seek help from a mental health professional. You need to care for yourself, and not ignore this inner red flag … and become aware of the multiple other flags that are very obvious if you become aware of them.

Crying is one of many stations in the journey of managing your emotions, and I highly recommend you get off at an earlier stop. You should implement a ‘safe space’ environment in your workplace, and ensure your workers are aware it’s okay to share their emotions without judgment. One of the keys to this is to start to look at potential ‘flags’ earlier and be aware. Very rarely do we wake up one day and all of a sudden you’ve hit the proverbial ‘wall’. In fact there are lots of early warning signs and these are what we should be teaching and talking about in the workplace, home and life.

Let’s talk health. Picture: iStock

A useful tool could be to host a monthly morning tea, where people share their 3 P’s: Positive moment, Pressure Point, and Personal highlight. It’s like show and tell but for adults. They don’t have to talk about their work, but it’s an opportunity to engage in open conversations about how they are coping with life at that time. These tools are great, but asking the right questions are just as important. Are you sleeping less? Have you got hobbies or doing things for your cardio, stretching, brain, libido and much more. The answers to these questions will reveal so much – for example if your relationship with your partner has gone from regular intimacy to now only monthly. It didn’t happen all of a sudden for the most part but happens gradually.

When it comes to the occasional workplace crying session brought on by stress, I say it should be accommodated for! Crying is a physical manifestation of letting off steam and feeling your emotions. It’s good for you, and there’s science to back it up. Along with this letting off steam and having what I like to call, ‘an emotional breakthrough’ – crying is essential when things get too much in various areas of your life to talk about them. In fact this is key to ensure you don’t ignore the signs and end up depleting yourself and having a mental breakdown.

What is crying exactly? It’s a natural response we have to a spectrum of emotions including sadness, grief, joy and frustration. It’s been a bit of a mystery as to why exactly we do it – even Charles Darwin once said it was ‘purposeless’.

Tears originate in the lacrimal gland, and they do have a handy benefit of lubricating your eyes. Have you ever had something stuck in your eye and you find yourself welling up? That’s your body trying to flush out whatever it is.

Outside of the practical benefits of tears, there’s a whole list of why it’s healthy to cry.

Is work the place to let it all out? Picture: iStock

Crying soothes the soul

You are correct, you do get an overwhelming sense of relief after crying. I had one patient explain it as a mini-orgasm, and they’re not wrong. Crying regulates your emotions, and calms yourself from distress. Crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system which makes you relaxed.

Crying is a red traffic light to the people around you

Crying in its simplest sense is a signal to others that you aren’t doing too well. People in most cases (psychopaths excluded) feel compassionate to people they see crying. You recognise this person needs care, and motivates you to ease up the pressure around them.

You get a kick out of crying

Crying releases oxytocin and endorphins, which is a contradiction I know, but this just shows the body is a fascinating machine! These chemicals released in your brain can relieve your emotional pain, and put you on the right path to wellbeing.

Crying tears is like going #1

Our tears contain stress hormones and other nasty chemicals, and researchers have found the reduction in these nasties through crying is beneficial. This is similar to how we pass urea when we pee.

I highly recommend you tell your management to get out of the 1960’s and embrace the beautiful emotional world we live in today. Their workers will function better if they know its okay to cry every once and a while. If they don’t want to fall victim to the great resignation, I think they should cry too!

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Dr Zac Turner has a Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery from the University of Sydney. He is both a medical practitioner and a co-owner of telehealth service, Concierge Doctors. He was also a registered nurse and is also a qualified and experienced biomedical scientist along with being a PhD Candidate in Biomedical Engineering