Dr Zac explains why you need the toilet so much after drinking

Dr Zac Turner gives the run-down on why one night of drinking can lead to a complete toilet disaster the next day.

Welcome to Ask Doctor Zac, a weekly column for news.com.au. This week Dr Zac advises what happens to your digestion after you drink alcohol.

Question:Hi Dr Zac, what causes a grog bog? And for those who don’t speak Aussie, I’m referring to the monstrosity that departs my body after a heavy night of drinking.

Now I’m no scientist, but whenever I finish my time on the porcelain throne my hangover feels much better! Am I correct in saying a grog bog helps lessen my hangover?

And all this poo talk made me curious enough to search the internet comparing mine to others, and I came across the reddit thread ‘Rate my Poo’ – some are the size of a baby’s arm! Surely that isn’t healthy? – Zach, Sydney

Answer: Thanks for your question, Zach, I appreciate your curiosity. Your poo says a lot about you and checking inside the toilet bowl is a great way to decipher your health.

Grog bog is a clear sign of the distress drinking causes your body ... and of course the aftermath in the bowel can sometimes look-how-one-feels the morning after. As I’ve said to lots of my patients: “When I’m asked to learn about you, to do so you’ll need to learn about poo.”

When we drink our brain mixes a cocktail of chemicals inside our head but drinking also causes a mixture to be stirred inside our guts. And the result of this mischief in our bellies is the well-known grog bog.

What happens inside our body when we drink alcohol?

A different process compared to food which breaks down in the stomach and mouth before being absorbed in the small intestine. Alcohol decides to skip the queue and joins the small intestine party quickly before heading to the liver. Once at the liver, it is processed at one drink per hour.

Think about that. Your poor liver processes one drink per hour, while the rest circulates throughout your bloodstream. If you drink ten beers that is ten hours of your liver working overtime.

Grog bog is a clear sign of the distress drinking causes your body.

Alcohol contains ethanol, which increases gut motility. That’s a fancy way of describing how the intestine contracts and moves food or liquid down the digestive tract. If you have increased gut motility, there is less water absorption which can lead to some seriously runny number twos.

Are you also finding your grog bogs to be undeniably smelly? This is caused by your gut bacteria having a field day with the alcohol and sugars you are bingeing on. The bacteria are causing the alcohol to ferment and pickle inside you that leads to foul smelling faeces.

And I’m sorry to say, but there is no escaping this. There haven’t been any types of alcohol studied that causes less watery stools or reduce bad smelling ones.

How to prevent grog bog

The trick is to prepare before your binge-drink. Eat a balanced meal containing lots of primary source natural oils like rice, whole grains, or chicken. You can even simply eat a banana or some toast.

The key is that foods that have oils or fats in them called lipids will slow your body’s digestive tract; meaning the alcohol won’t skip-the-queue and be let into the bloodstream as quickly. Preparation is everything – especially if you want to lessen your grog bogs and celebrate your firmer stools!

There haven’t been any types of alcohol studied that causes less watery stools or reduce bad smelling ones.

What should poo look like?

Now I’ve just had a glance at the ‘Rate my Poo’ Reddit thread (for the sake of scientific curiosity of course) and I’m very concerned for the health of many of those people. Our number twos should be smooth, soft, and shaped like a sausage. They also should not take hours to dispel or cause pain to our behinds.

Your poop shouldn’t be liquid, rock-hard or look like pebbles unless you’re extremely dehydrated or quite unwell.

One way to learn more about you and poo is to google the ‘Bristol Stool Scale’ and use that as your visual aid.

I’ve recommended this visual aid to many of my patients in the past, and often encourage them to print it out and stick it to the wall next to their toilet. It’s a real conversation starter for your guests! If your poo is consistently in the questionable categories, I definitely recommend speaking to your GP. They will explain how your lifestyle choices may be impacting your health.

Zach – you’re still quite young, and subtle changes to your lifestyle now could easily add an extra 20 years to your life later down the track. And you can thank your poo for giving you the early warning signs!

Dr Zac Turner has a Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery from the University of Sydney. He is both a medical practitioner and a co-owner of telehealth service, Concierge Doctors. He was also a registered nurse and is also a qualified and experienced biomedical scientist along with being a PhD Candidate in Biomedical Engineering.