COVID-19 pandemic: What do I tell my kids about coronavirus?

As the global coronavirus pandemic worsens, it’s getting harder to shield children from its existence – so how much should you share?

There was nothing unusual about this morning’s walk to school with my nine-year-old son, until two women wearing surgical masks passed us by in the street. Nervously meeting my eye, my son asked in an uncertain voice, “Mum, why are they wearing masks?”

If you are a parent, these questions about the coronavirus are most likely starting to come your way. Children tend to see the world through an egocentric lens and sometimes cannot discern the difference between the devastation they see on the screens with their own personal reality.

Their worries are close to home. How might this virus might affect them or their own family?

Before you can help your child, take stock. How are you personally feeling about the coronavirus? Just as adults might take their cues from a flight attendant about how worried they should be during turbulence, so too children take their cues from their parents.

Research from the Swine Flu pandemic showed that children’s fear was directly related to that of the parents. Remember that the goal is to model a level head, so if you need time out for self-care, be sure to take it.

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As more and more Australians don masks, kids are having more questions. Picture: AAP Image/Steven Saphore

Children are drawing information from many sources; some helpful, some not. As a parent, you are the person to filter the rumours and incorrect information, and give them the facts. The person who offers a reassuring perspective.

First and foremost, when faced with a question, it is important to validate the emotion: “I can see you feel worried about this and it’s completely normal to feel worried. Many kids are feeling the same way as you are.”

Once validated, your child will feel less anxiety and be better able to engage in a conversation that can be readily absorbed.

Information should be shared directly, and in a way that keeps in mind their developmental level. Children can be reassured that: “Kids are not likely to get his virus, and if they do it tends to be mild.”

If they are worried about mum or dad they can be reassured that: “For most people, coronavirus is a bit like a cold or flu.”

The biggest trap to avoid is to overwhelm them with too much talking. Done best, this information is shared as a two-way dialogue where you are focused on listening for their fears, and answering these directly.

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Children appear to be largely unaffected by the virus. Picture: AP Photo/Marco Ugarte

It is true that the more we fixate on fears, the more anxiety grows. Limiting kid’s exposure to media and anxious discussions is a good idea. Distraction helps the anxiety to shrink. Try to help your child to “stay in the now” by keeping your regular routine and focusing on their day-to-day activities like sports and homework.

We have learnt from previous ordeals, like the bushfires, that children benefit from taking actions that make them feel like they are helping. Explain the importance of hand washing and coughing into your elbow. Reassure them that by doing these things they are not only keeping themselves safe, but other people as well.

While we can never give them a 100 per cent guarantee, you can remind your child that whatever challenges there are to face, you will face them together as a family.

Dr Rachael Murrihy is a mother and the director of The Kidman Centre in the UTS Faculty of Science. She specialises in clinical adolescent psychology.