An Australian doctor warns against parents fat shaming their children
A Melbourne mum has admitted that she is “fat shaming” her teenage daughter and a doctor has warned it has serious consequences.
Welcome to Ask Doctor Zac, a weekly column from news.com.au. This week, Dr Zac Turner provides his take on parents fat-shaming their children.
Question:Hi Dr Zac, I’ve inherited something from my mother that I fear I am passing down to my own 13-year-old daughter: fat shaming. My mother used to fat shame me during my childhood, and as a result, for my entire life I’ve had a complex about my weight and figure. I’m like a yoyo dieter, as I love my food but I also turn on myself whenever I look in the mirror.
It’s the new year and we are currently being bombarded by weight loss adverts and celebrity ‘success stories’, and I find this very triggering. These ads pretend to be about regaining your health but I see them for what they really are: ads designed to make me feel bad about my ugly figure.
I’ve found myself talking to my daughter the same way my mother talked to me and I’m seeing the results first hand. My daughter doesn’t like to eat in front of others, she’ll always be on to the next diet, and I find her looking in the mirror often.
What kind of issues in the future am I getting my child into? – Anon Melbourne
Answer: Thanks for your question, Anon. According to studies, at any given time in Australia, there are one million people living with an eating disorder. One of those people could be your daughter, one could be your mother and the other could be you. I recommend you take your daughter, and yourself, to a professional, and seek medical help if you fear she has anorexia, bulimia or even in some cases, is overeating or bingeing.
Want to know what’s really scary? Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all psychiatric disorders. I apologise for being gloom and doom straight off the bat, but I find eating disorders very serious.
I am an advocate for people to lead healthy lives, which means I do implore people to lose weight and build muscle. I do draw the line, however, at malicious fat-shaming that ultimately leads to mental health disorders. Nothing good comes out of someone being forced to suffer with an eating disorder.
You must think of the future of your daughter’s health if she continues down this path.
By consuming fewer calories than she needs, your daughter’s body will begin to break down its own tissue to use for fuel. Our bodies begin to change into a conservation phase if it goes on for too long, which is why I hate diets (for the most part). Muscle is first on the chopping block, and the heart is the biggest muscle in the body.
Your daughter’s risk of heart failure will increase further and further as she weakens her own heart through dieting. Sadly, her chance of healing her heart lessens as she gets older.
Our brains consume up to one fifth of the calories we consume. All the harmful practices that take place during an eating disorder cause the brain to be malnourished, which leads to difficulties concentrating, addiction-like obsession about food and trouble falling or staying asleep.
In order to produce hormones, our bodies require calories. Without properly feeding our bodies, we run the risk of unbalanced hormone levels which in the case of your daughter can lead to her menstruation beginning to become irregular, or worse – stopping completely.
For the sake of offering some advice, I will give you three steps to get your whole family out of this shame world. However, this process can be quite complex so if it gets too hard to handle, please see a medical professional.
Step One: Love yourself
Self-love is key, and it starts with the little things. Statistics have shown one of the biggest fears of 80 per cent of young teenage girls is becoming fat. I recommend you undertake self-love exercises with your daughter. This can be as simple as taking the time out of your day to sit down with her and check in. Open up to her about how you feel about your body, and ask her to do the same.
Step Two: Live by the holy trinity
I don’t mean the one in the bible. I mean the three health tenets to adopt: eating, exercise and sleeping. You must properly nourish your body with amazing whole foods. You must exercise daily, but not excessively. And, you must sleep properly – around eight hours a day. If you do all three in unison, you will feel amazing and begin to build a positive body image.
Step Three: Stamp out fat-shaming when you see it
Now that you know what it takes to get yourself out of this headspace, you can empathise with others who are in it. I recommend you stamp out fat-shaming when you see or hear it. Unless we all fight this together, our population’s health will be poorer in the future.
There can be positives to being aware and helping friends and family to improve their health but always offer solutions. If you’re ever unsure of what to do, there are loads of people that can help. Whatever you do, keep trying and never give up! If something doesn’t work then try something else or chat to a new person, you can do it!
Dr Zac Turner has a Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery from the University of Sydney. He is both a medical practitioner and a co-owner of telehealth service, Concierge Doctors. He was also a registered nurse and is also a qualified and experienced biomedical scientist along with being a PhD Candidate in Biomedical Engineering.
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