Vegemite responds to expat’s ‘criminal’ Vegemite toast photo

An expat ignited debate over their heavy-handed approach to our national condiment, with Vegemite’s “Head of Spreads” having the final word.

There are a few key debates that can always get Aussies fired up.

1. Does tomato sauce belong in the fridge or the pantry?

2. Is it “parmie” or “parma”?

3. How much should avocado toast cost at a cafe?

4. And finally, how much Vegemite is the right amount to put on toast?

The latter is one that’s considered a critical national issue for many, capable of turning any office or household into a full-blown war zone as we passionately argue our “perfect toast to Vegemite” ratio.

It’s almost as if your spread preferences reveal something about you – are you a true Aussie, willing to slather on an opaque layer of Vegemite from crust to crust, or do you prefer a light smear, hesitant to fully commit and risk being thirsty for the rest of the day/your life?

Then there’s all the sub-debates about our national toast topper: butter or no butter? Cheese or no cheese? Egg or no egg?

Recently, this age-old debate was reignited in a Reddit thread after an American expat tried his hand at the salty spread.

A viral debate has erupted on Reddit over the correct amount of Vegemite to use. Picture: Reddit

“I’m American, how’s my Vegemite amount?” he asked, likely unaware of the storm he was about to unleash within the r/australia community.

In the attached photo, the Yank showed off two slices of toast nearly entirely covered in Vegemite, with only a small amount of bread peeking out from underneath.

“I love salty and savoury stuff, so Vegemite is right up my alley,” he added.

The offending photo. Picture: Supplied

‘That would make me gag’

His bold approach earned a mix of reactions, with some praising the unidenified man, saying things like, “You could apply for citizenship with this coverage,” while others joked, “That’s pro-Aussie level spread.”

One commenter even declared, “You’re not American anymore.”

However, not everyone was impressed, with some claiming he had applied far too much.

“Unless you’ve done it before, that is WAY too much for a newbie,” one remarked.

Another added, “I’m a born and bred Vegemite fanatic, and that’s fine by me, but I don’t think most people would handle half that.”

One commenter went as far as to say, “Slightly closer to serial killer amount than ordinary Aussie,” while another simply stated, “That would make me gag.”

Commenters argued it’s not enough and is lacking butter

Meanwhile, some felt it wasn’t enough.

“Honest answer: probably a little much for most people. Actual answer: Double it, mate,” someone joked.

One more said: “I would actually have it thicker than this. I could literally eat Vegemite with a spoon.”

Then came the criticism about his clear lack of butter, which some considered a crime “worthy of deportation.”

“Where is the butter?” someone asked. “Complete failure.”

Another commenter declared, “Needs a 1:1 ratio of globby half-melted islands of butter in between channels of thick Vegemite swipes.”

A third pointed out, “You’re just plain raw-dogging the Vegemite here with no butter!”

Upon realising his mistake, the original poster replied, “Sorry, I’ve let you guys down.”

An anecdotal investigation

Given the range of opinions on what some are calling #spreadgate, news.com.au decided to attempt to get to the bottom of the matter.

We took it upon ourselves to determine the correct amount and what better way to do that than to follow the serving suggestion on the back of the jar?

A 560 gram jar of Vegemite, which retails for about $9.40 (a debate for another day), contains precisely 112 servings, with each serving being five grams – or about one teaspoon.

In the name of “investigative journalism” and to put my Bachelor’s degree to good use, I headed to the office kitchen to spread one teaspoon of Vegemite on a piece of bread.

This is the suggested serving size for Vegemite. Picture: Supplied

Initially, it looked like a lot on the spoon, but it turned out to be much less than it seemed.

From the moment the knife touched the bread, the Vegemite vanished before my eyes and I have no idea where it went.

After it was fully spread, the toast had a one-two centimetre thick border that was completely EMPTY and sans-spread.

So, it’s safe to say that this American likely used at least three times the recommended amount and, therefore, qualifies as un-Australian.

A lot goes a little way. Picture: Supplied

Vegemite weighs in

Because I actually am a journalist, I did have to get an official word on the matter and not just rely on my anecdotal experiment even though I thought it was quite good.

So, I went straight to the source and chatted to The Head of Spreads (dream job) at Bega.

“For a first timer, this ratio of Vegemite to bread might be quite intense,” Mary Stafford told news.com.au.

“We recommend starting with a small amount and gradually building up, but we totally understand – it’s hard for people who don’t eat Vegemite to pick up a jar and know what to do with it. There’s so many people missing out on the unmistakeable joy, simply because they haven’t been introduced to it properly … yet.”

She also says the “right” amount is entirely personal.

“There’s no ‘right amount’ or ‘right’ way to enjoy Vegemite,” she says, noting that the five gram serving suggestion can be “adjusted to your liking.”

“Feel free to spread more or less on your slice of toast to find the right balance and suit your personal taste!”

When asked to weigh in on the butter debate, she simply called it a “classic combo”, so take that how you will, but we reckon that’s a big yes to butter!