Why is it so hard to accept someone ordering a water at the pub?

AS DRY July draws to a close Rachel Corbett is losing her excuse for ordering water at the pub. She knows the inevitable reaction and she’s had enough.

Rachel Corbett

OPINION: AS DRY July draws to a close and participants bid farewell to hangover free mornings they’re also saying goodbye to the only socially acceptable excuse for not drinking.

For some reason during the months where teetotalling is attached to a worthy cause, refusing booze is seen as the kind of self-sacrificial behaviour that borders on heroic. But outside these hallowed days the same rules unfortunately do not apply.

Saying no to a drink when you’re not in the middle of FebFast, Dry July or Ocsober isn’t seen as applaudable it’s seen as unacceptable. Forget if your cause de jour is your health or the fact you’ve got to get up at dawn’s crack and be prepared for an important meeting. If you go out to a pub and ask for soda water, all the adulation that’s present when you’re raising money for charity is replaced with eye rolling and looks of ‘who brought the party pooper?’

I say this from experience. I’m not a massive drinker. I’m also someone who finds it almost impossible to justify the price of a cab when I can drive myself somewhere for a fraction of the cost, so most of my friends know me as designated driver. As a result, I’m totally fine with either not drinking or having one and continuing the night on the soft stuff. I figure if I’m not capable of drumming up sparkling conversation without the assistance of half a bottle of Ouzo I probably shouldn’t bother coming out at all. But often when people realise I’m not drinking I end up having to defend myself. For what?

It feels like people assume if I say no to a drink, I’m also saying no to a good time. As though ordering a cocktail opens the night up to endless possibilities but asking for a lemon lime and bitters means I’ll be on the couch in my jammies in 25 minutes.

When someone comes out to the pub with me and doesn’t drink, I never give it a second thought. The pub is just the venue and while it’s nice to smash a bottle of wine with a mate, if they’re not up for drinking, I don’t spend all night sulking into my Shiraz thinking they don’t want to be there.

If you genuinely think someone saying no to a drink makes them less of a person then you’re an idiot.

When someone takes me to task for smashing the waters, the only thing that says to me is the person doing the reprimanding doesn’t have the balls to say no to a drink themselves and that’s certainly not my issue.

So let’s raise a glass (of water) and toast to the only cause needed to justify saying no to a drink being “just cause.”

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