Georgia Love: ‘The moment that made me throw out all my bikinis’

Feeling ‘fat, horrible and shamed’, former Bachelorette Georgia Love reveals why one tabloid story got to her more than any other.

Georgia Love

5 min read

June 30, 2019 - 3:39PM

Last year, I received an invitation to my friends’ wedding.

“Surprise! It’s in Bali!” the invite said.

“GREAT!” I thought to myself. I absolutely could not wait. I was so excited for a big group of my friends all holidaying together in the warm weather, celebrating love and the days before and after being spent eating great food, getting a tan, exploring beautiful Bali and making memories.

But then I flipped the wedding invitation over and my heart sank.

“Join us the day after the wedding for a recovery pool party,” it read.

I felt sick. Could I just not go to the recovery? Should I pretend I drank too much at the wedding? Will I have to turn down the whole thing?

Why, you ask? Because a pool party means bathers.

Now I will chime in here for anyone who doesn’t know me and let you know that I’m a size 8-10. I am very happy with my size and how I look. I eat healthily and exercise but I’m not diet or fitness mad. My body type is “works out but enjoys pizza”. You get the picture.

Georgia had to prepare herself for her friend's Bali wedding. Picture: Instagram

I am a size small but I have curves and I carry my weight in my tummy and butt. This means I feel great and am super confident in most clothing (but you can keep your bodycon, thanks). What I do not feel comfortable or confident in, however, is a bikini.

I used to wear bikinis all the time because, well, why the hell wouldn’t I? But a few months after my stint on The Bachelorette when paparazzi still cared what I was doing (lol), I was photographed on a beach without my knowledge, wearing a bikini.

I found out about it when this photo was plastered on the front page of a tabloid magazine next to a bevy of beauties absolutely ROCKING their ‘kinis (they were all posed photos taken with professional cameras and the girls’ knowledge and permission - which is important to add).

The caption alongside my photo was a quote I’d given months earlier, obviously unrelated to this pic, saying “I’m happy with how I look”. The inference was that I should not be.

Since that day, I have only — and I mean ONLY — worn one-piece bathers in public or very high waisted bikinis even when I’m in my own backyard. All my normal bikinis went in the bin. That picture alongside that caption made me feel horrendous. I am a confident person but for the first time in my life I truly felt fat, horrible and shamed. Not ashamed. But shamed.

Now I know this is what paparazzi and tabloid media does. I have thicc — sorry, I mean thick skin (couldn’t resist!) and really try not to let the haters get to me. But this particular one struck a chord for a very personal reason: it was something I’d already thought about myself.

Scrolling through Instagram, near on every second post on my feed is a gorgeous girl with an absolutely rocking bod in either bikinis, underwear or activewear. My search/suggested page is full of them. Be they models, TV stars or my real-life friends, there are a LOT of ridiculously hot women on Instagram.

We’ve always had magazines that have shown off the world’s most beautiful women. It’s not new that girls and women harshly compare themselves to these images. The difference now is it’s not just in magazines, it’s literally in the palm of our hands. Never before have we been quite so saturated with curated images of beautiful people and made to feel we should look the same way.

And that’s how I’ve let myself feel. That I can’t be seen — and DEFINITELY can’t be photographed — in bathers because I don’t look like your average Instagram fitspo model.

Being a size 8-10 I am smaller than the average Australian woman and yet I feel like this. So I can’t be the only one?

I forced myself to get over my little anxiety attack because of COURSE I was going to celebrate my friends’ marriage. But my worries were still there.

So you know what I did? I went out and bought myself some big-arse colourful earrings and hair scarfs! Loud accessories will detract from my tummy or the fact I’m wearing a one-piece! Right?

The day after the wedding, I put on my best high-waisted ‘kini (not even a one-piece, HALP), made my boyfriend tell me I looked pretty and donned a huge pair of brightly coloured, distracting earrings. This silly, small thing was the only thing that made me feel good enough to be in an Instagram-able setting with my tummy out.

Some tabloid stories get to celebs more than others. Picture: Instagram

Now Murphy and his damn law could have warned me the earrings would get wet and ruined in the first half-hour. And of course no one there was wearing so much as a sarong. So you know what I did? I took the earrings out and jumped in the pool. I sat and swam around laughing, drinking and making memories with my friends. And I did so IN A BIKINI. And you know what I didn’t think about once? The fact that I was win a bikini.

Every person at that pool party looked completely different; different sizes, shapes, hair colours, types of bloody swimwear. And none of us could have cared less about any of it because we were having fun. And yes, we took — and posted — photos. Ha! Take that Instagram-fuelled anxieties!

The thought I should have felt any other way is absolutely ridiculous. While I thought I was justified by my past experience, it was ridiculous. Why the hell should I not be able to post a picture of myself in a pool or on the beach, or even do those things without fear of being shamed or compared to others?

No one should ever let you feel like you can’t or shouldn’t wear anything or look a certain way. And the very last person who you should let do so is yourself.

It took a lot of positive self-talk for me to suck up my own fears and insecurities on that one occasion but am so glad I did. No one — not even myself — gets to tell me what I should wear. No, I don’t look like a Victoria’s Secret model. But I’m not one - and I don’t want to be.

So girl, wear that bikini. And hey, wear some earrings or a hair scarf too, because they’re fabulous. And so are you.

— Georgia Love is a former-Bachelorette and contributor for whimn.com.au

— This story originally appeared on whimn.com.au and is reproduced with permission

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