The ugly shoe trend: Cool or just … ugly?

There’s a trend sweeping the globe and it’s only gaining momentum. It may have already afflicted your loved ones. Is it wrong? You decide, Australia.

What kind of world are we living in where JLo apparently can’t have a successful relationship and the hottest, must-have shoes are expensive sandals that look like an OrthoWedge?

It just doesn’t make sense.

A few years after high-end fashion brand Balenciaga kickstarted the ugly shoe movement with its sell-out “dad” trainers, the trend continues to gather momentum and now designers are just trying to out-ugly each other.

Phoebe Burgess … Chanel sandals or an OrthoWedge?

Get the look for less! The OrthoWedge is a fantastic dupe of the Chanel sandal. Available at all good chemists.

US pop star Justin Bieber has long been a fan of ugly shoes and cemented his dedication to the trend this week by launching a second collaboration with Crocs — one of the original ugly shoe empires. The collection sold out globally in under 30 minutes.

Ad campaign photos show Justin rolling around in a pile of the lilac rubber clogs. The image is terrifying. I’d rather be locked in a car boot filled with Beliebers.

WARNING: If you’re eating, it might not be wise to read the next sentence.

The lavender-coloured Crocs are being sold in a bundled package with socks.

Just wow. A Crocs and socks value pack: The perfect gift for the person you hate.

“Crocs with socks is definitely the move,” Justin says in the press release. “They’re comfortable, they’re fashionable, and most importantly it’s fun to bring your own style to how you wear them.”

That’s just #FakeNews.

The car boot filled with Beliebers is definitely less horrifying than this.

Why is it now cool to look as unappealing as possible? We used to want to wear outfits that were flattering. Now, it’s hot to wear ugly shoes and bum bags and Kath Day-Knight’s windcheater.

Local governments should offer a service where seamstresses roam the streets and tailor the baggy outfits of people waiting at pedestrian crossings.

PSA: There are jeans available for purchase that don’t make your butt look funny.

Uggs and Birkenstocks helped normalise ugly footwear and now brands are just seeing how far they can push it.

Celebrities are mostly to blame. When they’re not wearing ugly shoes, they’re helping to create them.

US rapper Post Malone collaborated with Crocs and upped the brand’s street cred. Drew Barrymore also released her own line for the company a few years ago.

And Kanye West’s Yeezy footwear brand has helped skyrocket his net worth into the billions. The rapper was an early adopter of ugly shoes. Five years after partnering with Adidas, the collaboration now produces general ranges of weird shoes that sell out in minutes as well as high-end limited-edition offerings that become instant collector items.

His latest addition — the Yeezy 450s — sold out in under a minute when they were released last week. Unfamiliar with that hot ticket item? The 450s cost about $260 and look like clogs for aliens.

Yeezy 450s: Perfect for the alien on-the-go.

They’re not even the ugliest on offer. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you the Yeezy Foam Runners – a rubbery shell-like design that could be mistaken for a special thong a podiatrist might prescribe if you suffer from stubborn fungal infections acquired through public showers.

All these ugly shoes make pharmacy footwear look appealing.

Yeezy Foam Runners? Nah fanks.

Locally, ugly shoes have swarmed our country like a plague of locusts.

The Project host Carrie Bickmore — a vocal opponent of ugly shoes — was recently dared to wear Crocs for an entire week. No man, woman or child should ever be forced to suffer like that.

After clopping through the days, she eventually fell into some kind of shoe Stockholm syndrome.

“I became one with the Croc and I became quite proud of wearing the Crocs and I didn’t justify them to anyone,” she admitted on her Carrie & Tommy radio show.

It’s a harrowing tale.

Phoebe Burgess in her Chanel OrthoWedges.

Ex-WAG Phoebe Burgess has been tirelessly leading the charge for ugly shoes in Australia. When she’s not clacking around the Southern Highlands in her chunky Chanel OrthoWedges, she’s stomping about in $1,400 Prada brogues that are basically just really expensive checkout chick shoes.

Never before has the Hemsworths’ barefoot lifestyle seemed so appealing.

Twitter and Facebook: @hellojamesweir

Prada’s checkout chick shoes.