Bah humbug: Australia’s obsession with complaining about early Christmas decorations
EVERY single year, at around this time, you start to hear it. The whining. The confected outrage. Australia is angry for no good reason whatsoever.
IT’S beginning to look a lot like Christmas … in aisle three.
Yep, it’s that time of year again. When supermarkets start wheeling out the red and white paraphernalia and lovers of small talk start wheeling out the “can you believe Christmas decorations are in store already?”
Yes. I can. Because it happens every year. How is this shocking anyone anymore?
Especially when we’ve got the February Easter egg appearance to warm us up to the fact that businesses love prematurely jumping on a holiday.
And isn’t all this incredulity being directed at the wrong section of society?
Department stores and supermarkets aren’t in the business of dedicating prime shelving real estate to stuff that doesn’t make money, which means someone out there is buying enough of this crap to warrant putting it out at a time that clearly makes some shoppers uncomfortable.
It's only f***ing September! GTFO with your Christmas decorations Target 😠#grinch pic.twitter.com/iraqzDAuNL
— Jess Moran (@jessmoran13) September 17, 2016
Surely if anyone deserves to be the recipient of mock outrage, it’s the keen beans who stock up on reindeer headbands three months ahead of the appearance of St Nick, like a bunch of (albeit merry) doomsday preppers.
I’m starting to think all this bewilderment is less about the tinsel and more about what the tinsel represents. This glittering reminder of December’s approach forces us to face the sobering reality that another year has almost gone and we haven’t completed half the things we threw on our list of resolutions back in January.
Maybe for some, the appearance of Santa next to the cereal aisle is like the ghost of Christmas future coming to warn them they’ve got less than 10 weeks to get that bikini body they were supposed to have back in April.
People, it is only September. No need for Christmas decorations to be on sale just yet. pic.twitter.com/khGBSYwUiU
— Connor O'Brien (@ConnorBookinIt) September 16, 2016
However, if it is about Father Christmas rather than Father Time and premature candy canes really are an affront to delicate sensibilities, why aren’t they picketing outside those Christmas warehouses that are open 365 days a year?
As someone who starts their Yuletide preparation around 5pm December 24, I have a great amount of respect for anyone who has the foresight and organisational ability to think about red and green napkins in October. But whenever I drive past one of those giant stores full of decorations I think to myself ‘who in their right mind is buying baubles in March?’.
isn't it too early for christmas shopping???????????? mother??????? pic.twitter.com/OOc4DD5GaR
— amia (@DimpsG) September 11, 2016
We all know rent in this country isn’t cheap and those places aren’t small, so either Christmas in July is bigger than I realised or someone somewhere has a hell of a lot of halls to deck in useless crap. At least the big retailers have the decency to hold off putting things out until you can almost see Santa sleighing in on the horizon.
So next time you’re standing in an elevator at this time of year and feel the urge to turn to the person next to you and express your ‘shock’ over the appearance of Christmas decorations, remember this has been happening since the birth of the bloke who gave us the holiday in the first place.
Yes, ‘tis the season to be jolly but ‘tis also the season to get over it.
There's Christmas stuff at Dollar General. CHRISTMAS. STUFF. pic.twitter.com/4mrvny9Sx0
— Tabitha Harrison (@itslike_youknow) September 12, 2016
Rachel Corbett is a writer, radio, TV and podcast presenter and creator of the online podcasting course, PodSchool. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook or at her website.
