Christmas isn’t always awesome: For many it’s lonely and sad. Lets appreciate what we do have

OPINION: FOR many people, Christmas isn’t awesome — in fact it can be really s***. We need to talk about it.

OPINION

DON’T know about you, but this year, and so many elements of it have been pretty crap.

Deaths of friends. From brain tumours. Lingering cancer. Accidents. Dementia. Drugs. Terrorist attacks. The Bali executions.

Together, Australians/the world have collectively mourned — whether we personally or just publicly knew those who died.

There have been fractured relationships. Young — I mean young — people dying of heart attacks. Others committing suicide. Mass retrenchments, Others going broke. Others trying to ‘right’ relationships.

For some reason, I’ve found that this year (and I’m not saying anything incredibly new as all the above events happen on a daily basis, year in, year out) just seems to have been full of it.

The one thing it has really made me think about is mortality, real friends, family, love and priorities.

We all say it, but seriously, every freakin’ day is a bonus.

I am not going all Oprah on you. No, not at all, as we cannot suddenly ‘change’ overnight what is happening in our lives. No matter how many inspirational Instagram posts we post or read.

If anything, I’m all about mindfulness and just trying to embrace and change each day. (Even though I may not follow that particular mantra!)

Sure, that sounds a tad mantra-like, but to be honest, I don’t find Insta inspa-posts as tedious as I used to. Some days I just wake up and feel like relaying something that, yes, IS some kind of ‘borrowed wisdom’ (often from a wise old philosopher or maybe from a cool funster.) Sometimes, another’s Insta-quote even gives me a small kick up my bum.

Either way, a personally-trying year does make you reassess priorities; rethink your life and, as that great British philosopher (the singer George Michael) once wore, it makes you ‘Choose Life’.

Singer and modern day philosopher George Michael in his 'CHOOSE LIFE' T-shirt, waaaaay back in 1984 photo. Pic: London Sun.

Life isn’t a dream. Some days none of us want to get out of bed. We want to stay in our PJs; digest things that are happening in our lives; regret; cry; reflect; just ‘be’ then jump back into living.

Some days, all we want to do is feel sorry for ourselves. We have all done it. Fortunately, the next day, BAAM, for many of us, it passes, we get up and at it, just like nothing has passed between you and ‘that bad day.’

You know the days. When you have fractured romances. Feeling ‘ugly’. Fat. Incompetent. Used. Unworthy. Afraid. Mentally, emotionally or physically abused. Bullied or taken advantage of.

But, we start again. One day at a time. And then everything seems right in the world again.

LOOKING UP DURING HARD TIMES

This year, there will are hundreds of thousands of Australians with NO home. NO stuffed turkey. NO Christmas cake let alone pressies for their kids each year.

A friend and former colleague of mine put an extremely honest, heart wrenching and ultimately positive post on Facebook the other day and it got me thinking.

“I don’t know about you. But I’m a little tired of keeping up appearances and being #‎awesome,” she started her post.

“To take a leaf out of my mate Victoria Mitchell’s book, my life has been so far from perfect this year. So instead of a happy holiday meme, I feel compelled to share my Ode To A V. Bittersweet 2015.

“This year I have lost: the love of my life, time with my children, holidays with my family, my financial security, my self-worth, my pride — and I haven’t lost any weight and I’ve been frightened at home by myself.

“BUT — what have I gained? An amazing career path once again, awesome colleagues, a sense of value, an awareness of myself, and the mistakes I will never make again. A new perspective on humans. Wonderful new friendships and a true understanding of what parental unconditional love is — from my mum and dad.

“When your life goes through a phase of being utter s*** — of course many people don’t know what to say. You know why? There isn’t anything to bloody say. Nothing can often fix it — especially not words. But being fake and overly nice is so much worse.

“Seeing you are weak and relishing in your demise to prop yourself up is sooooo much worse.

“But — it’s the friend that texts every day to say ‘Thinking of you honey’. It’s the mum, sisters and dad who talk to you every single time you need to, about whatever you need to, without judging you — ever.

“It’s the girlfriend who notices how uncomfortable you are at a certain place and walks you out to your car. The same friend who calls every morning on your way to work to chat.

“It’s the two long-time girlfriends who take you out for a wine and make you laugh all night.

“It’s the friends who take your kids, bath them, feed them and cuddle them when you can’t cope.

“The neighbours that take out your bins every week and mow your lawn without even telling you who they are.”

So the good news is my friend is feeling stronger. And she is ready to take on 2016. And by the sound of it, she has the ‘right’ people around her.

In my humble case, I am always questioning my competency as a mum.

Like any single, working mums, trying to be everything to everyone while not forgetting the one constant in my life, my teenage son.

I know my life is not conventional. But to be honest, I now absolutely don’t give a stuff about what other people think about me.

The things what matter: me and my boy ...

For some of us who are just thinking, ‘this has been a shite of a year’ all I can say is we can take comfort that we ALL feel like it at some stage.

It’s not as easy as saying ‘brush yourself off and start again’ as I think that actually demeans and trivialises the ease of our living life scenario.

The one thing we all learn in life — after deaths, health issues, splits, financial concerns and the list goes on — is that ‘it is what is’.

We need to spend time and our love on those who seriously matter to us and would be there even when the earth came crashing down. And if we ever needed shelter. They would happily have us in their bunker.

Astrologer Yasmin Boland: things can only get better ...

According to moon-loving astrologer, Yasmin Boland, she thinks every year there are people who feel it was a really rough one, while others say it was great and they just want more.

“However 2012-2015 was marked by some really difficult planetary clashes,’’ says rescu.com.au’s Ms Boland.

“Namely Uranus square Pluto, which was all about conflict and ‘the immovable object meeting the unstoppable force. The catchwords I used a lot were ‘evolve or perish!’

“This very difficult cycle ended earlier this year and I think many of us are still in recovery. Certainly some of very energies which were so challenging (Uranus and Pluto) will go much easier on us in 2016, as Uranus and Pluto actually go into harmonious connections with the far more ebullient Jupiter.”

Sometimes life works in mysterious ways. People come in and out and back into your life because that is what is meant to be.

And that can be the best thing ever. In the meantime, we just look around, embrace those who REALLY figure in our lives and just be grateful we are still alive.

And I reckon that’s about it on the subject.