I turned 30 and started feeling peer pressure to hide my ageing

When this Sydney woman turned 30 she realised most women were already getting Botox — now she feels pressure to do the same.

The ‘baby Botox’ trend is taking off, which is fine, but making me question everything I thought about myself and injectables.

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Faced with turning 30, I had no fears or regrets like a lot of people (particularly women) seem to. My 20s had a lot of fun parts but now I’m in a much happier place, with actual self-esteem, and I wouldn’t give it up for all the youth in the world.

Maybe that’s why I had never considered Botox, not even as a plan for when I was yet another decade or two older and have plenty more lines.

At least, I hadn’t considered Botox, until I turned 30 and realised that most of the women my age who I know in Sydney were already having regular Botox appointments. And now the “Baby Botox” trend is taking off, with younger and younger people starting Botox for preventive reasons.

“We are noticing a growing amount of 20-somethings who are interested in injectable treatments,” Dr Joseph Hkeik from the All Saint Clinic in Sydney told news.com.au, “often because they see celebrities on social media or because their friends are having treatments done at a younger age than in previous generations”.

Now to be clear, I absolutely believe in anyone doing what they want with their bodies — as long as that decision is well researched and made in a healthy mental state. I don’t hate plastic surgery, I hate the patriarchal assumption that people (particularly women) must look a certain way to be beautiful. If making a little change is going to make you feel more confident, then do you.

However, I’ve now been left in a really confusing space.

I’m not sure when all the young women (at least, in Sydney) decided to start getting Botox, but I absolutely missed the memo.

For reference, this is me – I know you wanted to look for wrinkles.

I don’t have kids yet, but I’ve always strongly felt that if I had a daughter I would want her to see her mother, exactly as she is — at any age — and know that’s OK. For that matter, I would want any son of mine to learn that same lesson.

Beyond that, I’ve always felt it’s ridiculous that men are allowed to age — in fact they’re often considered more handsome when they do — but women aren’t, because for some reason we shouldn’t be human.

Despite social and traditional media being splashed with altered faces and filters and the Kardashians (who somehow became a symbol of beauty even though not a single one of them actually looks how they would naturally, meaning plastic surgery really is the beauty standard in this messed up world), I somehow managed to miss the insecurity about ageing. Like my 90-year-old Grandma always says: “growing old is a privilege”.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve felt hugely insecure about nearly everything else on my body, I’m not Superwoman — but lines on my face just wasn’t one of them.

But now? My brain is filled with one thought: “I don’t want to be the only woman in my early 30s actually looking like I’m in my early 30s”.

For the first time in my life, I’m feeling what can only be described as peer pressure to remove signs of ageing.

The worst part is, the peer pressure isn’t even intentional — not one woman has ever said to me that I should also consider Botox — it’s just a thing that everyone is doing to make themselves feel more confident thanks to patriarchal expectations, that nonetheless has a flow on effect.

So what’s the answer here? There really isn’t an easy one.

Dr Joseph Hkeik said there was ‘no scientific research available to prove that Botox can prevent wrinkles in the future’.

Perhaps the answer is to remove any shame around plastic surgery and make a safe, judgment-free zone so that anyone (famous or otherwise) can openly share the procedures they’ve had done. Then we just hope that it’s a step forward for the next generations who will at least be used to open discussions about cosmetic alterations and realise that it’s not natural. We’ve already made steps in this direction, but it’s far from being achieved.

Or maybe it’s opening up the diversity conversation to include images of people who haven’t had any work done to their bodies, at all ages — on runways, in shows, as influencers.

If any of these are the answer, it’s far from simple to achieve.

As for me, will I get Botox? Right now, I have no answer. I just know that if I do, a part of me will always be disappointed in myself, and if I don’t a part of me will always feel insecure about it.

Not much of a choice, really.