Study claims that right-wing politicians are more attractive
ACADEMICS have crunched the numbers to establish which pollies are the best looking. But are they right? You be the judge.
WHEN they went into politics, the last thing our leaders would have expected was to be ranked on their physical attractiveness.
After all, being good looking is not a prerequisite for public office— in fact, it’s a career path often dubbed “Hollywood for ugly people”.
But an academic study has done just that, giving every Australian MP a score out of nine for how handsome or beautiful they are, putting the results in a spreadsheet, and concluding that right-wing pollies are the best looking.
Not only that, but the study authors deduced that attractive looks could be the deciding factor for voters in “low information elections”.
We haven’t seen one of those lately, have we? *Cough, splutter.*
“The general appreciation of beauty among voters means that politicians on the right, who look better on average, have an advantage in elections,” the study, published in the Journal of Public Economics, concluded.
“Their beauty advantage, all else equal, makes candidates on the right more likely to win office and implement their preferred policies.”
And the impact was far from trivial, the authors said, with “the character of economic and social policy” potentially swayed by the physical attributes of the candidates seeking to shape the fabric of public life.
Sadly, the raw data of our politicians’ attractiveness rankings was not revealed in the study findings, but we’ve pitted some of Australia’s best known pollies against each other to make a comparison between left and right.
You be the judge.
JULIE BISHOP VS JULIA GILLARD
Previously known for her infamous death stare, Julie Bishop has become somewhat of a fashion icon since ascending to the role of Foreign Minister.
Her annual appearances at the Melbourne Cup — and indeed the Portsea Polo — have been fodder for the social pages, with the Coalition MP looking reliably svelte and stylish alongside partner David Panton.
“One should never underestimate the importance that fashion plays in our social, cultural and economic fabric,” the Chanel, Armani and Louboutin-wearing minister said last year. “Give a girl the right shoes and she can take on the world.”
Also endearing her to the public are Ms Bishop’s off-the-cuff tweets and penchant for emojis.
Former Labor PM Julia Gillard also drew attention to her personal style after climbing the political ladder, but her appearance was often the subject brutal criticism.
Controversy over the manner in which Ms Gillard rose to power, in a coup against Kevin Rudd, was channelled into what many saw as a misogynistic attack on Australia’s first female prime minister.
Early in her term, Ms Gillard came under fire for wearing ill-fitting garments, but scored a sartorial win with a tailored outfit at the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton in 2011.
MALCOLM TURNBULL VS ANTHONY ALBANESE
As the Liberal pollie beloved of lefties and QandA watchers everywhere, Malcolm Turnbull made swinging voters swoon every time he appeared on national television wearing his trademark leather jacket.
Talk of marriage equality and plans to tackle climate change made progressives weak at the knees, but these projects— along with the brown, Top Gun-esque jacket— have been gathering dust since the Coalition’s electoral win.
Fans of the “progressive dad” look still have Anthony Albanese to capture their attention.
Proving that street cred can trump a toned physique, the popular Labor MP performs under the stage name DJ Albo at hipster venues in Sydney and Melbourne.
Oh, and he has his own craft beer label. Enough said.
JOHN HOWARD VS BILL SHORTEN
Nothing says strong and capable like a regular fitness routine, and Australia’s second longest serving prime minister had the power walk down pat.
What he lacked in manicured brows, Mr Howard made up for in dedication to pounding the pavement — in a garish green and gold tracksuit that would eventually be memorialised in the MCG’s National Sports Museum.
The Wallabies jacket became a symbol of a moment that humanised Mr Howard in the eyes of the public, when he leapt from his chair as Tim Cahill scored Australia’s first World Cup goal in 2006.
Opposition leader Bill Shorten took a leaf out of Mr Howard’s book ahead of the 2016 election, shedding kilos with a running regimen.
But some commentators noted that slimming down had not really aided Mr Shorten’s overall attractiveness, with one image consultants warning that the resulting “man boobs” would be an Achilles heel in what would turn out to be a close, but unsuccessful campaign.
KEVIN RUDD IN A CLASS OF HIS OWN
Conventional measures of attractiveness are difficult to apply to the man known equally for his cranky outbursts as the ability to shed tears in front of a national audience.
We’ll just leave you with this image of the former PM doing an admirable job of charming Kerri-Anne Kennerley on morning television, ahead of his 2007 election victory.
PAULINE HANSON VS SARAH HANSON-YOUNG
Like chalk and cheese, it would seem that Greens Senator Sarah Hanson-Young and One Nation leader Pauline Hanson have little in common other than their matching surnames.
One is a flame-haired, right-wing pin-up queen, while the other has a perfectly honed resting bitch face and thicker skin than a rhinoceros.
We’re not sure how relevant the aesthetics are in determining the voter appeal of the fiesty pair, who likely stand out on the basis of their respective, radically divergent politics.
LADIES’ MAN DERRYN HINCH
Before he was a politician, Senator Derryn Hinch was a self-confessed ladies’ man, detailing his many conquests in a string of autobiographies.
No longer a hunky young broadcaster, the Human Headline maintains a devoted fan base among those who share his passion for exposing the names of convicted child sex offenders — for which he has served time behind bars.
Notoriety can be quite an aphrodisiac, as every prisoner pen pal knows.
TANYA PLIBERSEK VS SUSSAN LEY
With her stylish blonde bob and winning smile, it is no wonder Labor MP Tanya Plibersek was polling as preferred party leader last year.
If anyone can give Julie Bishop — the Coalition’s preferred leader in the same poll — a run for her money, it’s the Member for Sydney.
Her understated sense of style stands in contrast to that of the jetsetting former health minister Sussan Ley, who stepped down this week pending investigation of her taxpayer-funded trips to the Gold Coast.
The Hon. Ms Ley allegedly visited the surf city 22 times on the public purse, to attend glamorous events like a Great Gatsby-themed New Year’s Eve party at the Palazzo Versace with her businesswoman BFF Sarina Russo.
SCOTT MORRISON VS RICHARD DI NATALE
He’s no George Clooney, but if you squint your eyes at Greens Leader Richard Di Natale he scrubs up all right.
As for ScoMo, we couldn’t find a happy photograph of the Treasurer, but we’re sure there’s a market for his brand of belt-tightening, border-patrolling toughness.
Just pour yourself a stiff drink, close your eyes and put on a rerun of his 2016 budget speech — we dare you.
PENNY WONG AKA RYAN GOSLING
As the Opposition’s leader in the Senate, Penny Wong has that enigmatic charisma that comes with the trifecta of confidence, power and poise.
Senator Wong’s fiery question time battles are the stuff of legend, with her steely determination so unnerving her Coalition rivals that they resort to feminine cliches.
Attorney-General George Brandis called her “shrill and hysterical”, while Liberal Senator David Bushby famously “meowed” at her during an estimates meeting, prompting her trademark response of restrained fury.
After her appearance on a marriage equality episode of SBS current affairs program Insight, Penny Wong fangirldom had reached a crescendo with a blog devoted to Ryan Gosling-esque memes featuring the senator.
THE GOLD STANDARD: JUSTIN TRUDEAU
Canada broke the golden rule of politics when its voters elected dreamboat Justin Trudeau as their prime minister.
Politicians are supposed to be as ugly as you or me, so when Mr Trudeau came onto the scene with his movie star looks it was a revolution.
Quickly dubbed “the sexiest politician in the world” by the global press, the progressive heart-throb drew comparisons to John F Kennedy.
Alas, his immortal looks could not solve the age-old conundrum of how to reduce spending while improving social services.
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