Billionaire shares personal pain to prove abuse ‘can happen to anyone’

One of the world’s richest and most powerful women has revealed how an ex-partner “killed” her voice and self-esteem “for years”.

She’s got a loving family, billions in the bank and a rewarding career — but even Melinda Gates’ immense privilege hasn’t spared her from abuse at the hands of an ex-partner.

For the first time, the mother of three has spoken publicly about a previous “abusive relationship”. She mentions it in her new book, The Moment of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes the World.

Ms Gates, who married Microsoft founder Bill Gates in 1994, does not name her abusive former partner but has revealed how the treatment left her feeling powerless “for years”.

In an interview with The New York Times ahead of the book’s release, she described the toll the relationship took on her wellbeing.

Melinda Gates’ self-esteem was ‘killed’ during a previous ‘abusive’ relationship. Picture: AP Photo/Elaine Thompson

“One of the things I write about in the book is that I’ve been in an abusive relationship. I didn’t spend a lot of time on that, but I’ve never talked about it publicly before. It killed my voice and my self-esteem for years,” she told reporter David Marchese.

“It has only been in the last few years that I’ve even started to tell people close to me. But when I was writing this book, I thought I have to tell this. And the reason is so few people understand how many women have been through this. The number who have been abused is unbelievable. It affects a woman’s self-confidence. There can be shame or guilt. And so for me, the profound effect on how I saw myself and where I wouldn’t use my voice — I felt it was important to tell that in the book so that people would understand, yes, this can happen to anyone.

“And what I chose to include was another very purposeful decision. That person is still alive. That person has a mother and father. That person has two sisters and other family members. So I thought it was important for me to share exactly what I shared and no more. That’s not an easy topic for any of us.”

Melinda Gates’ book was released this week. Picture: AP Photo/Elaine Thompson

In another interview with USA Today, the 54-year-old again stressed she had included details of the abusive relationship in the hope of helping other women in similar situations.

“I certainly have never spoken about my abuse publicly before. And while it’s one page in the book, that felt unbelievably vulnerable to share,“ she said.

“But I thought that was important to share because so many women have been through some form of harassment. And I wanted people to understand that that is very hard to speak about, but we all have to speak our truths.”

Ms Gates’ book also reveals intimate details about her 25-year marriage as well as anecdotes from her years of philanthropy work in poverty-stricken areas.

The book has been endorsed by Bill Gates who writes on his website: “I would say this even if I weren’t married to the author: The Moment of Lift is a terrific read. It is a wise, honest, and beautifully written book about how empowering women lifts up everyone.”

Bill Gates has a net worth of $US100.6 billion ($A143 billion), making him the second richest person in the world, just behind Amazon’s Jeff Bezos.

Over the years, he and his wife have emerged as leading philanthropists, establishing the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation charity in 2000.

Ms Gates, who joined Microsoft as a marketing manager after graduating university, regularly ranks in the top 10 of Forbes’ annual 100 Most Powerful Women list.

Despite their wealth, the couple have tried to give children Jennifer, Rory and Phoebe a normal upbringing, publicly declaring while they will pay their college fees, the youngsters will then have to find jobs and pay their own way in life.

The Microsoft founder once famously told This Morning: “It’s not a favour to kids to have them have huge sums of wealth. It distorts anything they might do creating their own path.”

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