The creepiest jobs in Australia

WHAT’S the creepiest thing you’ve ever had to do at work? Clean the leftovers out the office fridge? At least you’ve never picked maggots out of a dead body.

WHAT’S the creepiest thing you’ve ever had to do at work?

Clean the leftovers out the office fridge? Make small talk in the elevator? At least you’ve never had to pick maggots out of a dead body.

Spare a thought for the souls who make a career out of doing things that would give most people a severe case of the heebie-jeebies.

Here are some truly spooky professions for the iron stomached, strong-kneed among us.

GRAVEDIGGER

Ready for some night work?

Despite what you might believe, gravedigging isn’t a totally dead-end job performed by ominous old men who spout cryptic warnings. These days you most likely need a Cert. III in Gravedigging, Grounds and Maintenance just to get one foot in.

Required: Leathery hands.

SLAUGHTERER

Don’t cut your career short.

Working with the dearly departed is one thing — it’s another to be the one doing the departing. Slaughterers working in abattoirs restrain, stun, and sever the jugular vein of animals. Unfortunately, career progression is limited.

Required: Coordination.

MORTICIAN

They usually don’t wake up.

If you’re noticing a theme here, it’s because dead people are generally pretty creepy. Morticians, also known as funeral directors or undertakers, get up close and personal with dead bodies on a day-to-day basis — cleaning, embalming, cremating, burying.

Required: Impeccable dress sense.

CORONER

“I wonder who will be shot today.”

Officially, a coroner is a judicial officer who investigates when a person dies apparently from unnatural causes or where the cause of death is not known. But of course, in real life we know they get in lots of gunfights and car chases.

Required: Catchy theme music.

CLEARANCE DIVER

It’s like this, only darker.

Navy clearance divers are the elite of the elite. It’s a “combination of diving, demolitions, explosive ordnance disposal and special forces employment”. In other words, swimming around in the pitch-black sea at night, handling highly dangerous explosives, all while avoiding giant squid.

Required: Balls of steel.

FORENSIC ENTOMOLOGIST

It’s a bug’s death.

Remember that kid in primary school who really liked bugs? And really like dead bodies? That kid grew up to be a forensic entomologist — the person who determines the age of a dead body by examining its maggots, spiders, millipedes and other creepy crawlies.

Required: Packed lunch.

MINER

Don’t get lost.

Do you enjoy spending your working hours deep underground in dangerous conditions, inhaling dust and risking the wrath of the Balrog? No? Well do you enjoy making lots and lots of money? Yes? Well then mining may just be the career for you.

Required: The blessing of Eru Ilúvatar.

CRIME SCENE CLEANER

It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it.

We’ll be honest: this one is definitely the worst. Crime scene cleaners are the ones who have to hang around long after the police, coroners and emergency workers have gone. Dealing with the aftermath of violent crime is an awful, but awfully necessary job.

Required: Strong bleach.

Got a creepy job? Leave your comment below.