Sisters In Law: Dealing with revenge porn threats from a past lover

Months after breaking up, after meeting someone new, a woman’s ex is now threatening to send an intimate video to her boss unless she breaks up with her new partner.

Welcome to Sisters In Law, news.com.au’s weekly column solving all of your legal problems. This week, our resident lawyers and real-life sisters Alison and Jillian Barrett from Maurice Blackburn advise what to do if an ex partner threatens you with revenge porn.

Question:

I was in a relationship with a man who I thought was kind and respectful – but it turns out he’s a creep. When we were together I consented to be filmed while having sex. We used his phone and he promised he’d never show anyone else, that it was “just for him”. A few months later we broke up because he started being possessive.

I asked him to delete the sex video of us and he promised he would. Now, six months later, I’ve started seeing someone new and my ex has threatened to send the video to my boss if I don’t break it off. I don’t know what to do.

My boss is an older man with very traditional views and I feel like seeing this video will change his opinion of me. My ex has made these threats in person and never written them down so I don’t have proof of his threats. How can I make him delete the video so he can’t send it to anyone? – Anon, SA

A woman’s ex-boyfriend is threatening to send a sex video to her boss. Picture: iStock

Answer:

Your ex’s threat to breach your trust and privacy is terrible, and would no doubt be very distressing.

His threats are illegal and could result in him facing significant fines, a criminal record and potentially even jail time as it’s a criminal offence for someone to distribute, or threaten to distribute, an intimate image.

“Distributing” or “threatening to distribute” isn’t just limited to your ex posting images on social media or emailing your boss, it also includes showing the images to his mates at work.

An intimate image includes a still or moving image that shows:

1. A person engaged in an intimate sexual activity not normally done in public

2. The genital or anal region when it is bare or covered only by underwear

3. The bare breast/s of a female, transgender or intersex person (if they identify as female), or

4. An image that has been altered to appear to show any of the above.

The laws are not designed to blame or shame the victims. Picture: iStock

Even though you consented to being filmed, it does not mean that you agreed to anyone else seeing it, or to your ex distributing it. You are in no way responsible and you have legal rights.

The laws are not designed to blame or shame the victims and people in this situation should come forward.

You should contact the police and explain the situation to them. They will be able to direct you how to obtain proof of his threats as in South Australia, unlike some other states and territories, it is illegal to use any listening device to record or listen to a private conversation regardless of whether or not you are a party to the conversation without the express or implied consent of all the parties to the conversation.

If a person is found to be guilty of revenge porn offences, the court can order them to remove, delete or destroy the intimate images or video within a certain time frame. If they fail to do so, they can be found guilty of a further offence, and possibly face further imprisonment.

If a person is found to be guilty of revenge porn offences, the court can order them to remove, delete or destroy the intimate images or video within a certain time frame. Picture: iStock

There are some defences that may be available to your ex-boyfriend (none of which are likely to succeed based on the information you told us) including that it was for a genuine artistic, educational, legal, scientific, medical, or public benefit purpose; and that it was, in the circumstances, reasonable.

Even a threat to distribute, without actually distributing, is illegal and your ex could be liable for a $5000 fine or one year imprisonment. Both the fine and jail time will double if he follows through on his threat and actually sends it to your boss.

If he does share the videos, including online, then you should take the following steps:

1. Collect evidence: such as screenshots, emails, the url of the website

2. Do a “reverse image search” and see if the video has been uploaded anywhere else

3. Contact the website/social media platform to report that the image/video was uploaded without consent and ask them to remove it

4. Make a report to the eSafety Commissioner and the Australia Cyber Security Centre, and

5. Contact your local police.

The eSafety Commissioner has powers to take action against people and the websites who publish these intimate images and videos. Picture: iStock

The eSafety Commissioner has powers to take action against people and the websites who publish these intimate images and videos.

For specific legal advice you should contact a lawyer in your state.

This legal information is general in nature and should not be regarded as specific legal advice or relied upon. Persons requiring particular legal advice should consult a solicitor.

If you have a legal question you would like Alison and Jillian to answer, please email [e-mail]

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