Five signs your boss doesn’t like you and why it might not matter

THERE are five easy ways to tell how your boss feels about you. But wait a moment before you start obsessing over them.

If, like Jon Hamm, your boss can maintain eye contact, that’s a good sign. Picture: Adam Taylor

BEHIND all the KPIs, bravado and reports, your manager is a human who will have an emotional response to you one way or another.

Some employees obsess with recognition from their superior and want that wrapped in a personalised bow of warm feeling. Others may take pride in their bosses not liking them as an individual but know they are needed professionally.

But how can you tell one way or another? And does it matter?

Well, not really, but it is a nice to have. Your boss holds the power of any promotion or reward you may achieve, but in the same breath your boss will (hopefully) publicly keep their personal opinions to themselves knowing that they must keep that professional boundary.

When I was researching this article, I made a list of all the bosses I have had, and strangely the best boss I had I didn’t personally like and they didn’t like me (I presume).

While conversely the least effective boss I ever had was the one who told me they liked me all the time. So much so it came across as insincere to almost everyone they said it to.

On evaluation, my own management style leaves some work in this area. Without having asked any of them as to not come across needy, my hypothesis is that most of my former reports knew whether I had time for them personally and who I didn’t. It’s a feature that sits firmly in the “Needs Improvement” column on my own personal management report.

However, having been both liked and disliked as an employee and boss this does allow me to be uniquely placed to give a few examples of signs your own boss doesn’t like you:

DOES YOUR BOSS CONSTANTLY DISAGREE WITH YOU?

Whatever you say, whatever you do, is it always wrong or is his/her suggestions better? If someone gives the same opinion five minutes later do they get applauded?

Well, I’m afraid you’ve got a boss who specifically doesn’t want to give you credit in a group environment. The reasons can come from a personal dislike right through to you being a threat to your boss’ own position.

OBVIOUS TONAL CHANGES?

Does your manager deliver words of encouragement and positivity but they are delivered in a velvet glove of a patronising manner just for you? If so, you have got a boss who must build up the courage just to speak to you let alone say something positive.

This expression (thanks for the demonstration Mr Litt) is not a good sign.

LIMITED ONE-ON-ONE TIME

So your boss catches up with everyone on an individual basis to discuss how things are going inside and outside of work, and to get their views on the department … apart from you. Is this because you are doing fine and you don’t need the specific attention or does the idea of a one-on-one conversation with your boss not appeal?

THEY MAKE LITTLE EYE CONTACT

Can your boss hold your gaze when they speak to you? This is a fun experiment for when you’re in the office.

If they obviously can’t hold your gaze with their eyes darting around the room it is likely one of three reasons: 1. They are insecure and are nervous within the interaction, 2. There is an element of aversion in where the words are coming from or 3. You are staring at them unusually and it is freaking them out …. You should probably stop now.

THEY LOSE INTEREST WHEN YOU SPEAK

This is the one I am most guilty of. Much has been made of the male concentration span and unfortunately I fit the stereotype on occasion.

If I wasn’t interested in what was being said to me or had a mistrust of where it was coming from I could intermittently and unintentionally lose concentration mid-sentence.

Even worse I could interrupt the person speaking with my own opinion, only to realise my discourtesy at a later time. The worst thing your boss can do in this situation is pretend he or she has listened intently and make comment on what you have said, usually with something irrelevant.

If this happens regularly a strong question needs to be asked about whether he or she values your opinion.

In many ways asking the question of whether your boss likes you is a futile exercise which in most cases will leave you unfulfilled.

The more poignant question is whether your boss and your organisation more broadly respects your professional contribution. This can be assessed with the same criteria as above but also with yardsticks such as formal reviews, financial rewards and promotions.

The worst thing a career can have is a lack of momentum.

Ieuan Williams is a senior leader within the recruitment industry and co-founder and director of Mane Consulting.