Expert’s top tips for dealing with a difficult boss

Working with a difficult boss is never easy and can present challenges, but an expert reveals some helpful tips to overcome the situation.

Working with a difficult boss is an issue that many people may experience at least once in their career.

While working with a problematic employer can present challenges, it can also actually help you.

An expert reveals some tips to overcome the situation.

WHY IT CAN BE HELPFUL TO WORK WITH A DIFFICULT BOSS

Dealing with difficult situations and difficult people can be good for professional development and is a skill that’s useful to develop, Bill Carson, workplace mental health specialist and founder of Inspire Learning Australia told news.com.au.

“We’re going to be dealing with difficult situations all the time so taking it as a way to grow and develop is really useful.”

Mr Carlson said that employees shouldn’t let a difficult boss drive them out of their role, especially if otherwise they are doing a job that they feel is worthwhile and that they enjoy.

“Just because you’ve got a difficult boss, you may not want to leave and you want to find some ways in which you can get the best out of that job.”

“If you persist, either the relationship with the boss will improve or the boss will move on or you’ll move on,” he added.

Working with a problematic employer can present challenges but also opportunities. Picture: iStock

HOW TO COPE WITH A DIFFICULT BOSS

Mr Carson has a strategy which he calls ‘the three F’s response’.

These are fight, flight, or flow.

He explains: “We can fight, we can get angry. We can push back, we can be belligerent, we can be difficult.”

“Or, we can do flight or flee which is just sulk, try to undermine them, gossip about them.”

“Or, we can come from flow which is being aware of our own capability and if there’s difficulty and grumpiness coming from the manager, we let that flow past us.”

Of the three, he recommends flow as the most effective, describing it as a “more positive and empowered” way of dealing with a difficult boss.

“We stay out of our stress state and we then maintain professionalism. We understand their perspective, effectively communicate.”

HOW TO DEAL WITH FEELING OVERWORKED

If you’re assigned extra work and you find it overwhelming, Mr Carson recommends having a conversation with the boss.

“In that situation, sit down with the boss and say, ‘You’ve just given me this set of additional work. Can we have a discussion?’” he said.

“Rather than just emotionally getting overwhelmed or p****d off at the boss, it’s being able to have a conversation with them on what are the priorities that we really need to work through here?”

SHOULD YOU BE FRIENDLY AND ‘SUCK UP’?

Mr Carlson said you can be friendly if your intention is to be authentic, but there is a downside to sucking up to your boss.

“If you’re coming in at work from the perspective of doing the best work that you can then there might be a need to be nice, to be somewhat forgiving,” he said.

“But if that goes on too much, and you don’t feel comfortable then you have to put up boundaries.”

Have a conversation with the boss if you’re feeling overworked. Picture: iStock

SHOULD YOU SPEAK TO HR?

If you’ve tried other strategies and are still having ongoing difficulties with your boss, Mr Carson suggests thinking about your approach.

“First of all, we need to control ourselves,” he said.

He added that its worth considering what – if anything – you will get out of fighting them or getting angry.

But if you’ve tried other tactics, approaching HR sound definitely be on the table.

“If the boss is being consistently difficult, by all means talk to HR,” Mr Carlson said.

WHAT’S YOUR EXIT STRATEGY?

If you’ve exhausted all options, including approaching HR, and the situation becomes unbearable, then it might be time to move on and explore other opportunities.

Mr Carson recommends turning the negative experience into something positive.

“It’s frustrating because you might have a good job.

“It’s very close, you’re making some good money and now because of this stupid boss, you have to move.”

He said at the point you have a choice about how you frame the experience in your mind.

“You can be angry, or you can get excited about a new opportunity to move forward to something different.

“Bring a more empowering energy to moving forward rather than a disempowering energy around blaming the bad boss.”