‘Weird situation’: Abbie Chatfield’s mortgage question exposes relationship trend

Influencer Abbie Chatfield has shared a major concern ahead of her singer boyfriend moving into her home, exposing a “weird” reality facing so many couples.

Influencer Abbie Chatfield is going viral for sharing the mortgage dilemma she is facing because her boyfriend is moving in.

The 29-year-old, who bought a $1.875m apartment in Sydney’s eastern suburbs in 2022 and owns a Byron Bay home that she purchased for $1.4 million, has shared she’s unsure what to do now that her partner, Adam Hyde, is moving into her city residence.

The successful influencer took to social media to ask Aussies how couples navigated the complexity of moving in with their partner when they already have a mortgage.

“I own this apartment, and I’m trying to work out how to split costs. If he pays rent or whatever,” she explained.

Chatfield said it is a “weird situation”, and they earn about the same amount, but she has “trauma” from men leeching off women.

“My main trauma is men stealing women’s money,” she said.

Abbie explained she wants things to be fair but she also wants to protect her major asset. Picture: Instagram/AbbieChatfield

The couple have been dating since 2023. Picture: Instagram/AbbieChatfield

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Chatfield said they’ll split utilities, and he’ll pay for a cleaner, but she’s wondering how much rent to charge him.

She also clarified that the couple plans to buy something together in a few years but are going to be living in her place because it was newly renovated and she wants to enjoy it.

“Do I do market research on a room in the area? That seems a bit deranged. This area is also really expensive rent wise,” she said.

Chatfield said that doing that kind of research felt “extreme” and she wondered if she should just estimate the rent or if there was a better way to do it.

“How do you work out your finances if one person owns a property basically? I don’t want him to split the mortgage,” she said.

The 29-year-old said she doesn’t want her partner to have any “claim” or “stake” in her apartment.

When one follower replied that Chatfield’s boyfriend should be paying “100 per cent” of the mortgage, the influencer wasn’t impressed.

“I have no desire to give my financial independence over to a man. Particularly when I earn as much as him,” she said.

The couple plan to buy something together in a few years. Picture: Instagram/AbbieChatfield

She argued she wants to remain financially independent. Picture: Instagram/AbbieChatfield

Chatfield also said that, depending on the financial year, sometimes she even earns more than Hyde, who is a professional musician and half of the duo Peking Duk.

“I’m very happy that I own my apartment. I’m very happy that he is moving into my apartment that I renovated recently with my money,” she said.

Chatfield said it is a “dangerous” rhetoric to want a man to pay for hundred per cent of the bills and expenses.

“I’d feel deeply uncomfortable having a man control the finances,” she said.

She said it can be a lovely gesture when a man pays for something and is genuine, but often, it comes with the man having more “control” than a woman in the relationship.

“I don’t need a man to pay for all of my things,” she said.

She said the comment was “delusional” and that she’d worked very hard for her apartment and had no interest in losing it in a relationship.

Eventually, Chatfield shared a response from someone who recommended she pay the mortgage and electricity, and that Hyde could then pay for groceries and water to contribute to the household.

“This makes sense,” she declared,

The 29-year-old added she’d have to do some maths and just make sure that wasn’t far cheaper than if he paid rent, but she seemed genuinely chuffed with that as a solution.

She shared the solution that she felt comfortable with. Picture: Instagram/AbbieChatfield

Abbie's question caused other people to share their mortgage issues. Picture: Instagram/AbbieChatfield

Chatfield’s mortgage dilemma hit a nerve with other Aussies, who shared how they dealt with similar financial situations.

“I’m buying and my partner is renting from me. I’ll pay a larger portion. In eight years, which is when he hits a percentage of the total mortgage paid, his rent payments will translate to equity,” one shared.

“I owned my apartment when my partner moved in. He paid rent that we worked out to be equitable with his wage as he earned less than me. Split bills 50/50 and contribute equally to food,” another explained.

“My partner lives in my house, and I just charge him rent, and then we split utilities! He is a builder, so he also helps out with handy things around the house,” someone else said.

One added: “I have paid out my mortgage, so there is no rent to pay. We split bills 50/50 and have a joint account where we put the same amount in for joint expenses like groceries.”

“I owned my apartment. After two years of dating, my partner moved in. He paid market rent, which I added to an account that was used to buy our second home,” one revealed.