Til ‘debt’ do us part: couples choosing mortgage over marriage
More and more Sydneysiders are being faced with an almost impossible choice between happiness and wealth.
Engaged couple Alanna de Bris and Dylan Hanney were planning their dream wedding but it quickly turned into a nightmare when quotes started flooding in around the $90,000 mark.
They came to a swift realisation, one that is increasingly guiding the relationship landscape across Sydney: instead of getting married, they’re getting a mortgage.
The couple are part of a growing wave of young would-be newlyweds saying “I do” to debt rather than weddings, with Aussie Home Loans research showing an 80 per cent rise in de facto couples taking out home loans together.
De facto relationships had accounted for just 15 per cent of new loan holders in 2015 but the figure has since jumped to nearly 30 per cent. That rise coincided with a decline in loan applications from married couples.
“It just didn’t stack up to pay that much money for one day,” Mr Hanney said, adding that the extravagant cost of a wedding would scupper their chances of home ownership.
“A lot of the advice we were getting from family and friends who had a wedding said there’s no point to pay that much money that you wouldn’t get back, especially when we still need to pay rent and we want to buy a house,” he said.
Mr Hanney said the biggest pressure to get married and have a big wedding came from “tradition.”
“Back when my parents got married, it didn’t cost anywhere near as much as it does today, it was three or four times their salary … my salary would only get you a house just over $600,000 and it costs more than eight times my salary,” he said.
The average wedding in NSW costs nearly $50,000, while a 20 per cent deposit for a median priced Sydney home ($1.1m) would set you back around $220,000.
“Ideally we would love to celebrate the day how we want to, but it doesn’t look like it’ll be feasible in the next few years.”
Aussie Home Loans mortgage broker Tracey Hammond experienced first hand many more couples purchasing together over marriage.
“It’s a tough reality for a lot of first home buyers, but it comes down to prioritising their long-term financial security over society pressures,” she said.
Celebrants and wedding vendors were also noting the change, reporting a quieter wedding season.
Melrose Memorable Moments celebrant Julie Rynne who is based on the NSW South Coast said inquiries had been slower in the last 12 months.
“I think that’s because the cost of living has gone up like crazy,” she said. “People are saying actually we will buy a house instead, or start a family and worry about marriage later when we need to make things a bit more official.”
“Couples are not always looking for the right celebrant, which is pretty important … before they make the connection people are already asking about prices, which I totally understand with the cost of everything,” she said.
Those who still wanted a special day were now opting to have smaller, more personal ceremonies with local vendors, small dinners, or DIY venues to cut costs.
“Some of my favourite weddings were very small, but they had a special place and it was really personal and special.”
Rachel Michael, a Hunter Valley based celebrant had split her business into two sectors after the increased demand to have small registry weddings.
“People are finding it more difficult to save,” she said. “With the registry wedding it’s more casual and you’re spending less, you can only have so many people so it alleviates the pressure,” she said.
“The couple can softly say we can only have 20 people there but we will have a party afterwards instead of we can’t afford it.
“If your social circle is having these big weddings, there is a little bit of peer pressure … and social media also plays a big part in that, when you see all these clips and these wonderful ideas but that all comes with a price tag.”
Ms Hammons said couples didn’t have to give up on their dream wedding entirely.
“A great strategy is setting up an offset account or a redraw facility, which allows couples to save on interest while also putting money aside for their future wedding,” she said.
“Some lenders even offer multiple offset accounts, so you could name one ‘Wedding Fund’, for example, and track your savings while still reducing your mortgage interest.”
Originally published as Til ‘debt’ do us part: couples choosing mortgage over marriage