Mum’s rental nightmare after fleeing family violence

A mum has opened up about the nightmare scenario she and her children are currently facing, exposing the horror reality facing thousands of Aussies.

EXCLUSIVE

When Aussie mum Daniela* left an abusive relationship in November after two years of planning, she believed she was fleeing to safety.

Her support letter from Safe Steps, a charity that provides help for those experiencing family violence, attested to her bravery and her hope.

“The family violence [Daniela] has been subjected to includes physical violence, emotional abuse, coercive control, sexual abuse, financial abuse, stalking,” the letter read.

“Though this behaviour has had a detrimental impact on her wellbeing, [Daniela] is working hard to regain routine and stability, and to rebuild her life free from violence.”

Instead, she has confronted a housing market so brutal it has caused her to consider returning to her perpetrator on multiple occasions.

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Mum Daniela (not pictured) and her kids face homelessness after fleeing domestic violence. Picture: iStock

“Leaving a family violence situation takes a lot of planning. I left with nothing; I had to escape in the middle of the night,” Daniela told news.com.au.

“Leaving that situation was extremely traumatic. Now, I don’t have time to deal with any of that trauma, because I still don’t have anywhere to live.”

It’s a story that is, tragically, not uncommon.

Last year in Australia, more than 100,000 women and children sought help from a homelessness service due to family violence. Only one-third of those victims could be served; some 8000 of them returned to violent perpetrators because they had nowhere else to go.

Daniela was on the public housing priority list for two years as she planned her escape – an acknowledgment of her violent home life and the young children she was trying to protect.

She fled to Safe Steps in mid-November, and stayed for two weeks before being transferred to a refuge.

Daniela was told not to bother with public housing – there are almost no properties available countrywide – and instead to start applying for private rentals.

“That’s part of the reason I stayed in my situation for so long. There was no public housing, and the rental process made it extremely difficult,” Daniela said.

“I was waiting for some glimmer of hope, but it never came. I stayed in the situation for much longer than I should have because I had nowhere to go.”

As described by Safe Steps CEO Chelsea Tobin: “Imagine facing a choice between taking your children into homelessness, or keeping them at home with a violent man.”

Australia currently faces the tightest rental market ever seen, meaning those most at risk often end up at the end of the priority list. Picture: Chris Pavlich

Now, Daniela and her kids face homelessness, rejected by countless landlords in the tightest rental market Australia has ever seen.

She has applied for more than 250 private rentals without a single follow-up. Her stay in refuge has been extended indefinitely due to the dire situation.

She says many parts of the rental process only inflamed her trauma.

“In a family violence situation, your self-esteem is knocked. You’re constantly told that you are nothing and you will be nothing, you will have nothing without your perpetrator,” she said.

“You come from that awful place and you try to find a new place to live, and you’re reminded of all of that. You don’t even get a chance to let people know that you’re a good person, that you’d be a great tenant, that you’re worth taking that risk for.

“It’s a reminder of everything the abuser said about you. It starts to feel like they were right.”

As is the case in many domestically violent relationships, Daniela’s also involved financial control – furthering her struggle to find housing.

“I haven’t always been forthcoming about being in refuge, because I believe that’s private information,” she said.

“I have rental gaps because I’ve had to leave the family violence situation several times … I wasn’t allowed to work if there were males in the building. His name was on the lease, and he held that over me.

“It was a constant fight to keep a roof over my head, and it’s a constant fight now to find a new one.”

The vast majority of women who report to homeless shelters fleeing family violence cannot be helped. Picture: Tom McGann

Research suggests that survivors of family violence are indirectly discriminated against in the rental process, making them exceptionally unlikely to end up on a landlord’s shortlist of prospective tenants.

In fact, none of the survivors living in Daniela’s refuge have secured a private rental in more than five months.

“They might have bad references, or have some online record of contact with a women’s shelter,” Shelter NSW secretary Sophia Maalsen said.

“They’re often seen as unfavourable tenants, for reasons such as believing they could bring crime or nuisance to the property, or there might be further assaults due to past or ongoing relationships with a violent partner. They may be seen as lacking in financial stability – even though those assumptions are often untrue.”

Safe Steps’ Dr Tobin said the support needed to help women remain apart from their perpetrators was exceptionally difficult to provide without stable housing.

“Supported accommodation can connect survivors with Centrelink, health care, local schools, all of the services they need to rebuild,” she said.

“Without that, we get a lot of women who cycle through shelters, go into homelessness or return to their perpetrator.

“Family violence is not a postcode issue,” Dr Tobin said.

“It doesn’t discriminate based on geography, religion or wealth. People often perceive victims as weak. In fact, they are incredibly resourceful, they’re resilient and they’re smart. We shouldn’t underestimate their capacity.”

Leo Patterson Ross, of the NSW Tenants’ Union, said the problem came down to treating housing as if it is not an essential service. Picture: NSW Tenants’ Union

Leo Patterson Ross, CEO of the NSW Tenants’ Union, said the problem came down to a “really basic flaw” in Australia’s housing system.

“It’s a very tough time for everybody, but the reason it is such a tough time is that we run a competitive market for an essential service,” Mr Patterson Ross said.

“Having a roof over your head is a basic need to keep people safe and allow them to live a dignified life, but people who are seen as a risk are dropped down the list of need because of that competitive nature.

“We do not have enough homes that are affordable and available, and are of an acceptable quality and in a good location. In public and community housing we have a serious shortfall, but we also need to look at the private market and ask whether the buildings we already have are being used effectively.”

Patterson Ross said there was “a lot of lawful and unlawful discrimination” in the rental screening process, but it was difficult to conduct a serious crackdown.

Prospective tenants can have their social media profiles, utility payment histories and online presence tapped, all without their knowledge.

Daniela said she wished there was a financial incentive to encourage landlords to take on tenants who might not look good on paper.

Still without a stable place to live, she said it felt impossible to rebuild her life.

“I feel like I’ve been swept out into the ocean for safety, but I can’t get back to the shore where my life will begin,” Daniela said.

“I can see other people living their lives, but I can’t. I’m still waiting on a phone call that tells me I’m good enough, that I’m worthy. I can’t start building up my life without that solid foundation underneath.”

*Name has been changed

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