Dream Homes: inside the nation’s finest homes

Real estate editor Tom Bowden takes the mickey out of Australia’s finest homes, including the perfect property for a millionaire man-child. You’re going to want to read this one.

124 Keys Rd, Keysborough, Victoria

Growing up I had a number of posters on my bedroom walls.

As much as I was into music, TV and film as a kid, I was kind of into cars too, and was obsessed with the Subaru WRX. They were ruling the World Rally Championship at the time, so I had a few posters of those beasts BluTack’d up around the place.

This wasn’t my house. This is 124 Keys Rd, Keysborough

Again, not my bedroom. Mine would have never been that clean.

There was a blue one throwing up a lot of dust, a gunmetal-coloured one under a bridge and a white one in a forest setting. I also had a couple of sweet Volkswagen Beetle posters above my bed – one a classic red and white ’72 Superbug and the others new yellow one.

The thing with these cars is that they were aspirational, but it also wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that if I put my mind to it, worked hard and saved even harder, I could actually own one one day. They were attainable. I also had a picture of Britney Spears on my wall for the same reason. I’m kind of playing the long game on that one. She’ll come around …

I never ended up owning one of my dream cars, despite how attainable I perceived them to be. It never happened. I wonder if that’s what’s going on at this 124 Keys Rd, Keysborough, Victoria home. Just looking at the photos, the owner of this place has certainly got a thing for Ferraris.

Like, I mean he’s really invested heavily in that whole lifestyle.

Dude’s got a thing for fast cars.

Course it is...

Subtle. Nice and subtle...

There’s the Ferrari mural on the garage wall, the Ferrari-branded turntable, Ferrari-themed bar, and let’s not forget the massive leaping horse statue out the front of the home that’s probably worth more than my entire house.

I’m not seeing any Ferraris in any of the photos though. I’m hoping that’s simply because the owner rolled them out for the photos, otherwise this place is just another boulevard of broken dreams like my bedroom wall and he, too, now drives an old Camry.

Although part of me secretly really hopes that’s the case. Not because that means he isn’t living his Ferrari dream, but just because the Camry is such an amazing car.

Ah, the Toyota Camry. Super pretty up front.

With a back end that doesn’t fail to impress.

It’s cheap to run, has decent boot space, is reliable to a fault and is, I’m not afraid to admit, sexy as hell.

Say what you will about the sleek lines of the Ferrari, but the Camry’s got curves in all the right places. This boy’s a fan. Hot damn.

$9.5m to $10m

And just because I’m feeling generous, here's one from the vault you might have missed.

3275 Christmas Creek Road, Lamington, QLD

Looking at the photos, and keeping in mind, regular readers, my fondness for writing myself into these features in various states of undress, you would be forgiven for thinking we were back in Tasmania this week.

Well, we’re not. So for those who were hoping we might be, I’m afraid you’re just going to have to pretend we’re there. Same goes for those who were hoping I might be unclad this week. I only do that in Tasmania, so, I’m sorry to disappoint, but you’re just going to have to imagine me in soft focus, surrounded by rose petals, reclining on a chaise lounge while bathed in warm afternoon light and eating peeled grapes, as Kenny G’s sultry sax lines dance in the air.

I feel you’re getting off track. Cool your jets, perves …

If it looks this nice now, imagine what it would look like if they Photoshopped it.

This kitchen could have also worked in the Ferrari house. Possibly only that house. Red benchtops should typically be avoided.

3275 Christmas Creek Road, Lamington, QLD

You just look at all that glorious open space and try and tell me Bigfoot doesn’t exist.

If we wait long enough he’ll show up looking for a drink.

No, where we are is a place called Lamington in Queensland, which reminds me of a cooking video I once watched. You want to start out with a decent piece of lamb rump roast. Ideally about 500g, but if you’re feeling hungry, feel free to go bigger. Don’t cook it. Just take it out of the fridge and let it warm to room temperature.

Next, you want to melt about 250g of chocolate. However you do this is fine, whether constantly stirring in a saucepan over low heat, gently microwaving it in a microwave-safe bowl, or you can get your Masterchef on and use a double boiler. All are fine. The important thing is to not heat it too fast and burn it. If you do burn it, throw the whole lot in the bin. Bowl and all. You’re starting again, Turbo.

This is sort of what we’re shooting for.

Oh, and you can use white, dark or milk chocolate for this. Milk or dark are kind of traditional, but hey, you do you. If you’re dairy, soy or sugar free, use one of those options – the Pana Organic chocolate range is great. Next, you want to get some shredded coconut. Yes, shredded. Leave that desiccated junk in the pantry. We’re going gourmet here.

From here you take the rump roast portion and dip it in the chocolate, making sure you get that bad boy completely coated. Then it’s as simple as dipping it in your coconut – again, ensuring even coverage – plating up, maybe slapping a strawberry slice or a mint leaf down as a garnish, and you’re done. Voila. Lambington.

Price not disclosed

Oh yeah, this is that house I was telling you about.

Originally published as Dream Homes: inside the nation’s finest homes