‘Taboo’: Stay-at-home mum reveals how her family manages money
A stay-at-home mum has gone viral for revealing why she’ll never feel “embarrassed” about asking her husband for one thing.
A stay-at-home mum has gone viral for revealing she’ll never feel “embarrassed” about asking her husband for money.
Montana, 27, lives in Melbourne and is pregnant with her third child. Her eldest daughter is four, and hasn’t gone back to paid work since she was born. Her husband works full-time as a carpenter, and they live off his wage.
She took to social media to vent about how her financial situation is seen as “taboo” because she relies on her husband’s salary.
“I will never feel embarrassed about asking my husband for money. He goes to work for us as in me, his girls and our family,” she said.
Montana pointed out that her husband’s income was also hers, and if she ever needed cash to buy new clothes for her kids or get her nails done, she’d never feel “guilty” about asking him for money.
“No one will make me feel guilty,” she said.
The young mum said she’s had people express shock that she has to ask her husband for money or are surprised she shares money with her husband, but in her view, it just makes perfect sense.
“It is so taboo, but we are married, we have our babies, and because of him, I get to be a stay-at-home mum and live out my dream life,” she said.
Ultimately, Montana said that despite the social stigma, she wasn’t going to let it change her financial outlook.
“I will never feel embarrassed or ashamed that I need to ask my husband for something,” she said.
Online people were divided by Montana’s rant.
“Girl, you shouldn’t even have to ask. You should have a joint account and access it as you need or want,” one wrote.
“So true, honey, the way it should be,” another agreed.
“We just have a joint account, and I spend as I need. I would feel so weird asking,” one commenter said.
“Glad this works for you. But I could never live a life like this. I’m all for being a self-sufficient woman who sets an example for her kids and others by working and bringing in her own,” another weighed in.
Montana told news.com.au that she thinks her views on money are taboo because of the push from society to get women away from the home and their children.
“I think there’s a huge feminist movement of women wanting to have the career and have their own finances secured but honestly the old fashioned way works amazing for us and a lot of other families and women I know,” she said.
She said that she thinks people get “upset” because of their own poor experiences but that doesn’t mean her family’s system doesn’t work.
“I think people get so upset about the topic of money based on their own experiences, perhaps sharing money or experiencing financial abuse,” she said.
Montana explained that it took her a few years to feel that her husband’s salary was also hers.
“It’s hard as a stay-at-home mum because you can feel like because you aren’t contributing financially, you aren’t contributing/making an impact, but we are! We’re doing it all,” she said.
Ultimately, Montana said it also took time for her husband to change his mindset.
“It took my husband and me a few years to get to a place where we both view his income as ours and we have many open conversations about money now,” she said.
The young mum gets full access to their accounts and gets a weekly lump sum paid into her own account, but if she goes over budget or needs to make a bigger purchase, she’ll check in with her husband.
“What I mean when I say that I ‘ask’ is that out of respect, I’d never just go into our shared account and spend and buy without asking, and I’m talking if I need a few hundred dollars worth of things,” she said.
Montana said they also have an ongoing conversation about money, but she’d never just transfer money without a conversation first.
“Our money arrangement works great now! We’re extremely open with each other about money and cash flow,” she said.
Montana said people warn her that she should also be out working because if they divorce, it’ll be hard for her re-establish herself in the workforce but she has full faith in her marriage.
“Divorce isn’t a word we use in our family or with each other, and we are committed to each other,” she said.
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