Split turns nasty over engagement ring

An amicable split turned nasty when an ex-fiance asked for his engagement ring back. What are his rights?

If you were not considered a de facto couple, then the ring would usually be classified as a “conditional gift”. Picture: iStock

Welcome to Sisters In Law, news.com.au’s weekly column solving all of your legal problems. This week, our resident lawyers and real-life sisters Alison and Jillian Barrett from Maurice Blackburn advise about your rights when it comes to defunct engagements and diamond rings.

QUESTION: I recently broke up with my fiance of two years and I thought it was quite amicable. We had a rental apartment so split all of our stuff equally and I tried to move on. Then, one month after we broke up I got a message from him asking why I hadn’t returned the engagement ring he gave me. He said it cost $4000 and he wanted to sell it to put down a deposit on a new place. Do I have to return the ring even though it was a gift? – Cherie, Qld

ANSWER: Under Australian law, a person can no longer sue for compensation arising out of a ‘breach of a promise to marry’.

Previously, the person who had called off the engagement could be sued for social and economic loss relating to this.

He said it cost $4000 and he wanted to sell it to put down a deposit on a new place. Picture: iStock

Although the Marriage Act has abolished the right to recover damages, there is still a right to recover “conditional gifts” such as engagement rings.

To determine whether you are required to return the ring, it is necessary to look at the nature of your former relationship with your ex-fiance.

There are usually three contexts in which engagement rings can be considered, and the law differs for each:

1 Traditional engagement: a couple is engaged and do not live together before marriage

2 De facto couple: a couple that lives together, become engaged but don’t marry

3 Married couple: a couple that gets engaged and lives together (in whichever order) and then marries

When married or de facto couples separate, the Family Law Act applies. Picture: iStock

Based on what you’ve told us, it sounds like you’re in the second category, and you were a de facto couple as you were living together and shared a rental apartment.

When married or de facto couples separate, the Family Law Act applies. This means the engagement ring is usually considered to be property, or an asset, and can be included in a property settlement.

The second-hand value of the ring must be considered, so even if he paid $4000 for it, it is unlikely to be worth that same amount now.

The second-hand value of the ring must be considered. Picture: iStock

When dividing property after a separation, the length of the relationship, each person’s contributions to the relationship and the future needs of each person post-separation are also considered.

Due to the sentimental value of engagement rings, most separating couples tend to exclude the ring from the property settlement. However, as your ex-fiance wants to include it in the property pool, it must be considered.

You can read more about property settlements here.

There are other considerations, such as if the ring was a family heirloom, or it was a gift by a third party (such as a parent or grandparent). In this situation, usually the ring would go back to the person whose family gifted it.

Based on the information we have, you aren’t required to return the ring, per se, but will likely be required to provide half of the ring’s current value to your ex. Alternatively, you may prefer to give him back the ring and have him pay you half of its value.

If you were not considered a de facto couple, then the ring would usually be classified as a “conditional gift”. Picture: iStock

If you were not considered a de facto couple, then the ring would usually be classified as a “conditional gift”.

In 2007 the New South Wales Supreme Court had to decide this point in a case involving an engagement that ended after 10 days.

In this case, the person who called off the engagement was told by her former fiance that she could keep the ring, and then disposed of the ring in the garbage.

He initiated court proceedings to recover the value of the ring, and the court found in his favour, ordering the woman to pay back the value of the ring.

This legal information is general in nature and should not be regarded as specific legal advice or relied upon. Persons requiring particular legal advice should consult a solicitor.

If you have a legal question you would like Alison and Jillian to answer, please email [e-mail]. Get more from Alison and Jillian on their Facebook page.