Susie Moore: Don’t be afraid to ask for things

SWALLOW your pride. There is one simple thing that could save you thousands over a year and it doesn’t take much to do. Ask and you shall receive.

THERE’S a reason the old adage “ask and you shall receive” is an old adage. It works.

Yet we are often too reluctant to ask for what we want. Maybe out of embarrassment, maybe out of shyness or maybe because we think we’ll get rejected. And sometimes it doesn’t even occur to us to ask.

I figure that I have always been pretty good at asking for what I want. Over the years I have asked for things big and small — pay rises when I thought they were due, favours from friends when needed, complimentary late check-outs at hotels, discounts on retail prices, and even asking my now-husband to take my number when we met.

Ice hockey legend Wayne Gretzky famously said, “You miss 100 per cent of the shots you don’t take.” So I decided to take as many shots as I could — asking for everything I wanted over the course of an entire Sunday. You won’t believe how much money you can save in a day.

Wayne Gretzky famously said you miss 100 per cent of the goals you don’t take.

This is what happened:

8.04AM — Summer planning

I texted a friend asking her to dog-sit for a weekend in July. Normally I leave my dog at a kennel and pay $70 a night. Her response? “Would love to!” A big saving and extra special one-on-one attention for my dog. I also am really grateful to her that I’m already thinking of ways I can repay her. My day of asking is looking good already.

Saved: $140

9.02AM — Getting coffee

I go to my local cafe and order my regular iced coffee. I know the barista well after months of going there. I said, smiling, “Is there any chance I could have this on the house today? Because I am your favourite customer?” He laughed and asked if I forgot my wallet. I said no, just wanted a little treat for my loyalty — tongue in cheek. It was fateful as at that moment there was no one behind me. He looked surprised, a little bemused and handed me my coffee for free. “Enjoy!” he said. I did and, feeling touched, left a tip the price of the coffee.

Saved: $4

If you’re a regular customer, why not try asking for a free coffee?

10.48AM — Suiting up

I dropped off a jacket at my local tailor, a skilled and speedy professional. I told her I have more jackets and a dress to bring to her and is there a discount for volume? She gave me 10 per cent off now and for all the future work I’ll bring her. Now she will certainly receive all of my business. Score for both of us!

Saved: $5 (annual — approx. $130)

11.11AM — Subway scowl

Heading into town to run some errands I asked a girl to move her bag so I could have a seat on the subway. People are grumpy in New York, and normally I stand to avoid speaking to people and risk any friction. She begrudgingly moved her bag but she still did it. And I sat the next seven stops. My track record so far is still looking good.

Want a seat on the subway? Ask for it.

12.23PM — Table test

Met up with a friend for lunch, and asked the hostess for a nice seat by the window. It was a busy lunch period and the table was reserved but she gave us the closest alternative — a cosy table where we could still feel the breeze and have a quiet conversation. Better than the noisy seat by the door we were originally going to be placed.

12.46PM — Share and share alike

Over lunch I asked my friend if she could lend me her champagne glasses for a party I’ll be hosting. I have little kitchen storage and didn’t want to spend money on 12 glasses I will only use once and have no place to keep. She is dropping them off next weekend. “No trouble!” she reassured me. When she comes over, I am lending her two books I know she wanted to read. Once more — we both gain.

Saved — $85

Susie Moore saved $85 by asking to borrow her friend’s champagne glasses.

1.49PM — Spin again?

Back on the train (seated) — I emailed my spin studio for a second free class. The first is complimentary and when I had it two weeks ago my experience was not so pleasant. I asked for another opportunity to see their facilities and try a new teacher. They replied 1.5 hours later with a yes and asked me to complete a feedback form. Answering a few questions is totally worth the price another class would be.

Saved — $36

3.03PM — Networking know-how

Looking on LinkedIn I saw an update from a potential mentor I always hoped to have a meeting with. I sent her a message asking for a lunch or drink on me. In my experience, asking for professional advice is perhaps the best thing to ask for in terms of the return it brings. She did not reply yet but will ask again in a week if I don’t hear back. What I know for sure is that persistence prevails.

Susie nabbed another free spin class that would normally have cost $36.

While on LinkedIn I read my messages I see someone junior emailed me a few weeks ago asking for something similar (requesting a coffee to learn more about our industry from my perspective). I write back with a yes and propose a date. I look forward to helping her and realise that I forgot how much fun mentoring is. I remind myself that what goes around comes around. Perhaps this proactive young lady will be a great mentor one day herself. All of a sudden I feel excited to share my knowledge and experience.

4.25PM — Bills, bills, bills

Last month my (still unpaid) mobile bill is way higher than usual due to some urgent international calls I made. I call my provider to see if there is anything they can do. They cannot reduce the charges but give me a payment extension of 14 days and put me on a revised, better plan. Happy with that.

Saved (provider estimate per month) - $24

Annual $288

You could be saving hundreds on your bills by asking for a better deal.

5.55PM — Walk and talk

My husband and I take our dog for a lovely stroll. I ask him for some more one-on-one quality time. He works late and then more at home (so do I). We agree to have more of a tech/life balance starting this week.

I am the cook in the house and asked my husband if tonight he could take care of dinner. I was met with a flat out no. Oh well. My good luck had to end and it was worth a try. As a small reward, I think my dinner will be extra appreciated tonight as he remembers that cooking takes work.

So maybe Susie’s husband won’t be cooking her dinner, but he’ll certainly appreciate her efforts.

8.12PM — Feeling reflective

I text an old friend for a get together. I have not seen her in a long time. Life gets in the way of friendships sometimes and I feel bad we have not connected (I rejected her dinner requests a few times and she stopped asking). It was niggling me that I had perhaps hurt her feelings when I really did not mean to. The longer I did not contact her the harder it felt to reconnect.

I text and ask her for her forgiveness for my silence. I state it was not intentional. She responds shortly, “So happy to hear from you. I was sad. OF COURSE I forgive you.”

I write and arrange a cocktail date and also offer my PR assistance with a charity project I know she is working on. Somehow these asks (for forgiveness and offering my time and help) trumps all others of the day. I end the day elated.

My successful day of asking for what I want has made a few things clear. That asking works. People are happy to help. Businesses are more flexible than we think and what we wish to have is often much more in reach than we realise. And I saved $294, or $712 if you count the annual discount I secured for my phone bill and tailoring.

The most important thing I observed however is that it is the giving, not the asking, that feels the best. When you next ask for something — remember to give something back too. To the same person or to another. On the same day or a different day. In a similar fashion or in an entirely new way. Be reciprocal. Giving and receiving is fair in the end and as the old saying goes, “the universe keeps a perfect set of books.” Be an asker and a giver. Win-win.