If balls could talk: Scrotum stars in hilarious new Bonds advert

IF YOU’VE ever wondered what a conversation between two testicles would sound like, your curiosity will be sated by Bonds’ hilarious new advert.

“ARE you itchy? ... Stay away from me, man.”

If you’ve ever wondered what a conversation between two testicles would sound like, your curiosity will be sated by Bonds’ latest advert.

It features a philosophical duo who (literally) hang around pondering the meaning of their existence, in between the daily assaults that come with living inside an unsupportive pair of underwear.

“This is the brain: Brace for impact in three... two ... one,” comes the ominous warning.

Unfortunately for the beleaguered pair, the master of the ship has his own set of priorities.

“Brain, we’ve just spotted a female, thinking of heading over for a conversation,” says the binoculars-wielding testicle.

“This is the brain. We won’t be doing that; stay the course,” comes the reply.

The scrota of the world have spoken.

“Uh, brain we really think this is an opportunity, uh, we should definitely head on over,” the left testicle insists.

“This is the brain, this is not an opportunity. I’m in a board meeting — presenting.”

“Urghhh this guy is such a square,” the right testicle moans.

“Is he not seeing what I’m seeing?”

Things are about to get much more painful — but there is a happy ending.

After the drama has passed through its climax and conclusion, our heroes are left to ponder the truly important questions.

“Do you ever get the feeling we’re just ... A couple of balls?”

The video, created by advertising agency Clemenger BBDO, has received a positive response so far on social media.

Titled The Boys Part 1, it is the first of a planned series of clips to run across social media channels, with the tricky aim of getting men to think about upgrading their undies.

A backgrounder from the agency states that Bonds found that men “don’t typically think about their choice of underwear and are happy to wear jocks that are ‘old, ill fitting and riddled with holes’ and only buy a new pair ‘when they absolutely have to’.”

“Talking about men’s undies isn’t the most natural topic at the pub, so Bonds have decided to make the conversation about something closer to men’s hearts: their balls,” the statement said.

“In a psychological masterstroke, they are hitting men in the proverbials to help them realise the impact a poorly-fitting pair of undies is having on their crown jewels.”

Clemenger BBDO Melbourne group managing director Simon Lamplough told Mumbrella that men’s testicles “have to put up with a lot in life”.

“Heat, cold and (shudder) impact all affect them,” Mr Lamlough said.

“The least men can do is keep The Boys comfy in a nice new pair of Bonds undies.”