Sleep easy: why sharing a bedroom is great for kids

For children who share a bedroom with a sibling, the benefits are many – from comfort and companionship to increased empathy and cooperation. For parents, managing the occasional squabble comes with the territory.

Two little girls, kids in a candid shot having a pillow fight in bed

For children who share a bedroom with a sibling, the benefits are many – from comfort and companionship to increased empathy and cooperation. For parents, managing the occasional squabble comes with the territory.

Remember the days when it was more common for kids to share bedrooms than to have their own room? Sole occupancy bedrooms were the preserve of only children and, less commonly, children who lived in homes with more than three bedrooms.

In the current age of individualism, giving children their own bedroom has become the norm, but some families are now turning to shared spaces once again, as the benefits to siblings become clearer.

Best-selling Australian parenting author Pinky McKay says sharing a bedroom can be a wonderful bonding opportunity for kids and provide them with a sense of security that enhances their wellbeing.

“It’s very normal for young kids to seek company and feel secure when they share a room. It can help with sibling bonding, having someone to chat to and share experiences. It can also be a lovely transition for little ones as they move from sharing the parents’ bedroom,” she says.

Around the globe, experts agree that sharing a bedroom not only helps kids build bonds, but also builds their ability to compromise, problem solve, defend themselves and develop empathy. Sharing secrets at bedtime, spontaneous play and finding solace in each other when life throws out its inevitable challenges are some of the other benefits that sharing a bedroom can bring.

Of course, there are the inevitable challenges.

“There can be arguing, especially if one child is tidy and one is messy, or if sleep requirements are different, like an older child being disturbed by an early-waking baby or toddler,” Pinky says.

Younger children also seem to enjoy sharing a bedroom more than older children, who may begin to crave their own space and privacy.

“This will depend on the personalities and gender of children. Some share really well up to early adolescence, around nine or 10, but others may need separate spaces sooner than this.”

Generally, children of the same gender will find it easier to share as they reach typical developmental stages, however it’s not uncommon for brothers and sisters to enjoy sharing a bedroom too.

There is a lot that parents can do to help make sharing a bedroom a positive experience for their children.

“Lots of communication – helping the children work through differences, having allocated spaces for toys, study spaces and personal space,” Pinky says.

Allowing them to personalise their own space in the bedroom is also important. “Don’t worry too much about décor being especially coordinated if children have different colour preferences or interests. The bedroom should be a warm, happy, safe space where kids are free to express themselves – it doesn’t have to be Instagram worthy,” Pinky says.

Even when your home has enough bedrooms for each child to have their own room, sharing a bedroom and all the extra space a spare room frees up can be much more beneficial for the whole family. Villa World homes come with ample built-in bedroom storage allowing spare rooms to be used for a study, music room, craft room, guest room or toy storage overflow.

Designer and stylist Anastasia Dinos of Mood Design knows all about sharing a bedroom. She shared with her little sister, who is nine years younger, for 15 years from the age of nine until 24.

“It had its moments,” she laughs. “I loved it when she was a baby as I would often play with her, even when I wasn’t supposed to, because she was like my real-life baby doll.”

As she got older, however, Anastasia found it harder to hide things from her little sister. “She would tell our parents everything so that became a little annoying. But I do remember nights we would hold hands across our beds to say goodnight. Today we are pretty close and we often reminisce and laugh about those days,” she says.

When it comes to designing and decorating a shared kids’ bedroom, Anastasia recommends getting children involved from the very beginning and letting their individuality shine through.

“I think it’s important to have your tribe engaged from the start so you get their buy-in. A bedroom is a child’s' haven, it’s their only private space in the world, so it’s important to get it right so they feel good in there,” she says. “You can vary the smaller design elements like bedding, upholstered bed heads, wall art, lamps, rugs, desks and even office chairs.”

Elevated bunk beds with a mattress on top and a desk underneath are a great way to create extra space in a shared bedroom and allow each child to have their own sleep and homework zone. Tee pees and canopies around beds or hung from ceilings can also offer warmth and some screened segregation.

Originally published as Sleep easy: why sharing a bedroom is great for kids