Dementia: How to care for someone living with memory loss

CARING for someone living with dementia can be one of the most challenging experiences in a person’s life, but there are some things family members can do to make it easier.

carers

Caring for someone living with dementia isn’t easy. Dealing with the changes in your loved one’s thinking, mood and behaviour, on top of all the physical demands of caregiving, can be exhausting.

But how a person copes with the ups and downs of taking care of someone with dementia can be significantly influenced by how they look after for themselves. Here are five ways carers can look out for themselves, so that they can continue to look after their loved one.

REDUCING STRESS

While we all know what we should be doing for our general health and wellbeing, there are often obstacles that get in the way.  For carers, a common barrier to engaging in regular self-care can be feelings of guilt. In this situation, carers should ask themselves, “How differently might I feel and behave as a carer if I wasn’t so stressed?”

It’s impossible to be effective caring for someone with dementia if you are not in good health yourself. An excellent place to start is by managing daily stress levels. Getting enough sleep each night, exercising regularly, eating proper meals, watching alcohol intake, and making time for leisure activities are just some of the practical ways of managing stress. Some people find it useful to start with scheduling half an hour of ‘non-negotiable’ time each day for self-care. This could be taking a walk on your lunch break, catching up with a friend for coffee on the weekend or taking a bath in the evening. It can be helpful to start with something small and achievable, then build your self-care routine gradually over time.

CONNECTING WITH OTHERS

Caring for someone with dementia can be a lonely and isolating experience at times and can bring about a wide range of emotions, from grief and despair, to anxiety, anger and frustration. Speaking with other carers who have been in a similar situation can be a useful way of feeling understood and less alone. It can also be a good opportunity to gain information, to learn new or different coping strategies and to socialise in a supportive environment.

How a carer chooses to connect with others can vary widely. Some find attending a local support group to be helpful, while others might prefer to talk with friends and family, to see a counsellor or to join an online community. There is no right or wrong way for carers to share their experiences with others, but knowing that they are not alone is important and can mean a world of difference when the going gets tough.

ACCESSING INFORMATION

The needs of each person living with dementia will be as unique and individual as the person themselves. However, there are universal needs and plenty of resources and information materials have been developed to assist carers to better understand and adapt to the changing needs of their loved one.

Gaining information from reputable sources such as Dementia Australia can help to increase confidence and understanding around caring for someone with dementia while also decreasing some of the confusion, anxiety and frustration that can commonly arise.

Developing an understanding around the range of respite care options and other resources designed to support carers in their roles is another really important part in caring for carers.

PLANNING AHEAD

Planning ahead for a range of situations can help carers feel more in control. It gives them a road map to follow when the path is uncertain. Questions like “what will happen if..” and “what am I going to do when…” are totally normal, however excessive worry can quickly become overwhelming and unhelpful.

Planning ahead for day-to-day tasks is one strategy for managing stress and worry but it is just as important to also plan for such things as future respite care, emergency care and alternative arrangements should there be any major or sudden changes in needs. If possible, sitting down with your loved one to discuss their preferences for future plans can also be a really useful way to help them to have their needs and desires met too.

Visiting the Dementia Australia website is one useful way to find out more about care planning, but carers might also like to consider phoning Carers Australia, speaking with a general practitioner, nursing staff or support/social workers for guidance.

NURTURING RELATIONSHIPS

Changes in the relationship, and the roles within it, are common for people with dementia and their carers. Despite these inevitable changes, nurturing the relationship is important to keep a degree of enjoyment in the situation. Sharing activities that are familiar, relaxing and which are adapted to current abilities can be a rewarding way for those with dementia to share meaningful time with their carer. It’s important to bear in mind that shared leisure time may not always be possible and that maintaining a flexible and accepting approach towards the ‘ups and downs’ can help carers feeling calm and comfortable.

While finding what helps can take a little time and effort, caring for carers is vital and necessary.

For more information about caring for someone with dementia, visit Dementia Australia https://carers.dementia.org.au/ or phone the National Dementia Helpline on 1800 100 500. The Commonwealth Respite and Carelink Centre can be contacted by phoning 1800 052 222 during business hours or 1800 059 059 for emergency respite support outside standard business hours.