What's on TV with Dianne Butler: One Born Every Minute

DIANNE Butler reviews your evening television for Wednesday.

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DIANNE Butler reviews your evening television for Wednesday.

THE three things about having a baby are location, location, location. No, wait ... that's selling your house.

These three things are patience, patience, patience. The girl in the bed didn't care, she just wanted it to end so she could put her pants back on. Possibly for ever. "I don't want him over there looking at my place. We don't need anyone to see that." Or maybe the woman standing next to her bed was talking about real estate after all.

Apparently there are 40 cameras here at this hospital, the Princess Anne at Southampton. Not counting the ones wielded by inadequate-feeling, or just inadequate, fathers.

That's a lot of cameras for a maternity ward, but there are a lot of angles to cover. Especially when you're having a water birth, like Lydia. This is Lydia's first baby. She took a pregnancy test, it came back positive, she was "surprised".

"In terms of contraception, I wasn't the most cautious of people," says her boyfriend Phil. "I think I underestimated the importance of it.

"I think that's all I can really say. I didn't take it seriously enough ... That's part of the reason we're in the situation we're in."

Part of the reason? Phil. Rhymes with dill.

Lydia's mother - a concerned Christian - is being much more supportive than Lydia expected. She told her sister Anna - who's poolside for the birth, everyone is - she was pregnant first.

"She got excited, didn't she," Phil says to Lydia.

"No. She told me to have an abortion."

Whereas tonight's other couples could hardly be more prepared. They just need the actual baby now.

The concern Tendayi and Max have is the unidentified sounds coming from adjoining rooms. "Jesus Christ Max, what are we going to do when our time comes?" Tendayi says, buzzing for an epidural.

One Born Every Minute
SBS ONE, 8.30pm
Rating: 4 Stars.