Week in TV: Revenge premieres, Absolutely Fabulous and Greys Anatomy return

OLD favourites Ab Fab and Grey's Anatomy return, Glee surprises with a Christmas episode and new drama Revenge kicks off.

revenge

DIANNE Butler reviews your week's evening television.

Wednesday, February 8
Absolutely Fabulous
ABC1, 8pm
Rating: 4 Stars

AFTER a lengthy hiatus, Absolutely Fabulous returns with three new 20th anniversary specials. And apart from a few references to iPads and blogs, five minutes into this new episode and you'll feel like nothing has changed since it first hit our screens in 1992.

While Eddy (Jennifer Saunders) makes considerably more nervous cracks about her weight, Patsy (Joanna Lumley) looks like she's only ever let out of the cryogenic freezer to do new episodes and they're still living in the same house.

Eddy is still hopelessly try-hard and faddish, and still dominates her meek, conservative daughter Saffy. (Julia Sawalha, who at 43, is considerably older than Saunders was when the show began).

The threadbare plot has Saffy returning after two years in prison - convicted for organising fake passports for refugees.

"I didn't know," she protests. "You're innocent until proven guilty," Eddy says. "And you've been proven guilty, so you can stop that."

Saffy's best friend from prison drops by - a Chav drug dealer Eddy hilariously tries to impress with her street lingo. In a highly unlikely coincidence, Patsy owes the dealer a small fortune, which leads to her being forced down to the benefits office to claim her pension. Classic.

There are big laughs when Patsy reveals an enormous stash of drugs in her hair, and a bizarre dream sequence featuring Eddy talking Danish-like gibberish to The Killing's Sofie Grabol. Other regulars, such as Bubble (Jane Horrocks) and Gran (June Whitfield) have little to do (though Bubble recreates the entire royal wedding).

All in all, a fairly satisfying way to celebrate two decades of the show.

- Andrew Fenton

grey's anatomy

Thursday, February 9
Grey's Anatomy
Channel 7, 8.30pm
Rating: 3 Stars

IT'S the traditional start to the new season of Grey's Anatomy - new interns, new chief resident, and a sinkhole in the middle of Seattle the size of that one in Guatemala.

It's a huge production, it must've cost them heaps.

And there's a very impressive piece of drama involving someone cutting off someone else's leg. Someone who isn't strictly speaking a medical doctor. This show loves nothing more than getting the year going with a natural disaster.

Though there is talk that says a sinkhole tends to be more the work of humans than nature.

Also a big disaster - the new chief resident. April. You can tell by the way she chirps "Have fun!" as she sends Owen and Alex and a crew off to the sinkhole, and then spends the rest of the day trying to match patient to bed.

I can't see her getting sacked, though. That would require one of the infallible doctors Bailey, or the Chief, or whoever put her in the job having to admit they made a mistake.

The real story tonight revolves around Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and what's going to happen to her after she interfered with Shepherd's clinical trial last season. Derek Shepherd, you'll recall, is one of the world's top brain surgeons, and the type a hospital can trot out to the media, which makes him indispensable.

So in theory Meredith should lose her job, like, yesterday. Derek's frozen her out at work, and they're also living apart, which is potentially a bit of a problem since they've adopted a baby and the social worker is all up in their grille.

And yet to be resolved is the issue of Cristina's pregnancy. Initially I thought that sinkhole was a metaphor for how expensive hospitals are, but maybe it represents an emotional gulf. Or nothing.

glee

Friday, February 10
Glee
Channel 10, 7pm
Rating: 3.5 Stars

LOOK, I love Glee. Big fan, love everything Ryan Murphy does, but can I take a Christmas episode just now? In February?

There'd be people - none of you, I trust - still looking at their yuletide credit card statement with trepidation. I don't want to spoil things here, but at least last year's Christmas special unleashed Sue Sylvester at her cruelest. Remember? She stole all the presents? And Brittany saw her? Brittany who, at 17, was waiting by the tree for Santa to arrive?

I only just realised, kind of late in the day, her full name is Brittany S. Pierce. Which, just to join the dots for you or more likely me, is a nice little in-joke because the actor who plays her was once Britney Spears' back-up dancer.

Yes, old news to everyone, I'm just putting off talking about tonight's Christmas special. Oh, it has its moments. Finn: "Holy c--p, I'm dating Kim Kardashian." And Sue calls Blaine "young Burt Reynolds". And the middle bit is a glorious black and white throwback, but if you're not careful you'll find yourself sinking in treacle at the end.

It veers far too close to a Brady Christmas for me. And that might be OK if this wasn't Glee. Glee, which should have an irony rod running up its back. But as messages go, Glee's is fine. I just don't want a message coming at me from my television set.

That stylish bit in the middle comes about when Artie gets to direct the Christmas special on the local PBS affiliate. He grapples with it for a while, worried he's selling out by doing television, but comes around in the end. His budget is $800, and when you see it you'll wonder why he hasn't been called up to do the Oscars this year. The stars are Kurt and Blaine, at home in their Gstaad chalet. Of course.

minder

Saturday, February 11
Minder
ABC1, 6.10pm
Rating: 3 Stars

ARE we agreed most remakes don't need remaking and Minder is one of them? Which I believe explains why it's wound up at 6 o'clock at night. Or afternoon. Who's going to watch this show, hospital patients waiting for their after-dinner pills? Maybe EastEnders fans. Shane Richie, the new Arthur Daley, was Alfie Moon on EastEnders for years.

They didn't call him Arthur in the end. Out of respect, I hope. It's Archie Daley. He's all right. A mixture of silly and, well, silly. He's basically a harmless fence, small time (cameras, watches, disposable nappies) but nonetheless aspirational, though the economic downturn has hurt his business.

Someone's after him for money tonight, a theme common to all episodes I'm going to predict, and the Gold brothers also want his warehouse for its real estate potential. There's a local councillor behind this.

Archie, as it happens, is the cleanest person in the room. He's also trying to buy an historic pub off a woman named Petra. Charles Dickens used to drink there, she says.

Archie meets his minder, now saddled with the tepid name of Jamie (yet in real life he's the fantastic Lex Schrapnel) when he gets into his cab. Trouble ensues straightaway, and we get to see Jamie in gentle action. He's no Terry McCann, washed-up boxer. And Archie doesn't have Arfur's turn of phrase either. His line is more "I'm somewhat bereaved by that comment". "Allow me to make amendments." "This is not a good time for levitation." And so on.

There's been no attempt to replace Patrick Malahide's rigid Detective Sergeant Chisholm, but Archie does have some byplay with a lady police officer. Unfortunately she seems reasonably competent.

homeland

Sunday, February 12
Homeland,
Channel 10, 8.30pm
Rating: 4 Stars

MORE paranoid hallucinations? Not you, I'm sure you're fine no, I'm talking about Brody. This is one of Carrie's notes, taken tonight in the course of spying on him. She must have a lot of notes.

Yes, obviously a large part of this operation has forced her to see him naked, perhaps towelling himself off in front of a mirror, but if this is what it takes to keep the homeland safe, well, she made a commitment to the US Government.

But not for much longer. Saul is making Carrie (Claire Danes) shut it down. He's given her a month and she's found nothing and now she's violating the Brody family's right to privacy. I thought he was joking when he said that last bit but apparently not.

Carrie's cranky because her "instincts" tell her Brody's planning an attack on the US. This is a woman who needs a daily dose of mood stabilising medication in order to function, but even so, I hope she's right. I think a lot of us who are into this show might feel a tiny bit ripped off if we got to the end of it and Brody turned out to be John McCain.

But at this point he's looking like a reasonably relaxed Muslim. So far we've only seen him on the prayer mat, which could be a comfort thing after all those hard years.

It'll still be easy enough to hide a five-times a day habit out in that garage, but if he suddenly decides he wants three more wives, that's going to be trickier. And what about the couple who came out of nowhere at the end of last week's episode and bought that house, conveniently located near an airport?

We get to know them more intimately tonight. Hmmm.

Meanwhile, the Brodys are having a party. I don't know that Nicholas is really ready for mingling, but anyway.

revenge

Monday, February 13
Revenge
Channel 7, 8.30pm
Rating: 4 Stars

A BIT of money can be a nice thing to watch on screen. Not all shows need it but Revenge is the sort that does. For a start, it's set in the Hamptons, where money is on display like bunting during grand final week.

They could've had it in winter, or among the townies, who are as broke as the rest of us, but if they went in that direction, why use the Hamptons at all? And so then, like actual rich people, Revenge has to maintain that lifestyle.

The big oceanfront houses, the boats, the clothes, the spectacular party that ends with a death on the beach.

The party is for the shotgun engagement of Emily (Emily VanCamp) and Daniel, the "tragically privileged spawn", as Emily's friend Ashley who works for Daniel's mother Victoria Grayson (Madeleine Stowe) describes him.

Emily had met Daniel only five months before, at another party, this one on a boat, a fundraiser for one of Victoria's charities. Ashley pointed out Daniel while giving Emily a rundown of the local identities, and Emily, playing her part as a tourist for the summer, pretended she didn't know anything about any of them.

But of course they're the only reason she's there, renting a house and obsessing about retaliation. Another reason why Revenge needs money.

Emily couldn't do any of this stuff if she was poor. But luckily she's enormously rich. "I don't believe in luck," Victoria Grayson tells her husband tonight. They're talking about something else, but it sounds ominous. Everything Victoria Grayson says sounds ominous. It's not just because of Madeline Stowe's voice. She's also good at those long stares, like Ridge on Bold and the Beautiful.

Dave Gorman

Tuesday, February 14
Genius
ABC1, 9.30pm
Rating: 3.5 Stars

ENGLISH comedian Dave Gorman is the master of the high concept (stuff that can be summed up in a succinctly stated premise).

There was Are You Dave Gorman? where he travelled the world meeting people who share his name. And Dave Gorman's Important Astrology Experiment where he followed his star sign's advice to the letter for 40 days with surprising results.

Essentially, he's a clever man almost entirely focused on trivial pursuits.

This reached a zenith with his radio program Genius, where members of the public submit fanciful ideas for how to make the world a better place. A panel then assesses whether the concept qualifies as "genius" or not (in the slang sense, rather than if it's a work of supreme intellect).

But transferred to television, cracks begin to show - the main problem being there's nothing inherently visual about slightly geeky, mainly male audience members chatting about wacky ideas.

Tonight's guests are comedian Russell Howard and reserved British sports presenter Hazel Irvine. Their job is to make gags about how impractical the ideas are, or to enthuse about them.

Some concepts thrown up are quite novel: an alarm clock that wakes you up with the smell of bacon, a one-way system in supermarket aisles, and making coffins out of pastry so that crematoriums smell nice.

Then there are ideas made real by the producers, like nutritious soup-flavoured icy poles and a vending machine that breaks dishes for you when you're angry.

Frankly, the show doesn't really work all that well, but it's a likeable and diverting enough way to spend half an hour.

- Andrew Fenton