All singing, all dancing top TV picks

WE review the TV week ahead which includes Rockwiz, Dancing with the Stars and Revenge.

Tyra Banks

WE review the TV week ahead which includes Rockwiz, Dancing with the Stars and Revenge.

Wednesday

WAG NATION

Arena, 9.30pm

Three stars

THE WAGs are shopping for their Logies outfits. Stress levels vary. Terry Biviano has a stylist she rings and he assembles an array of gorgeous things for her to try on.

And then we have Jackie in Melbourne who's ordered her dress from Sydney but two days out it still hasn't turned up. She may have to resort to her own wardrobe. "I'm too much of a bogan for the Logies," she says, fear mounting. You can tell she's never been before.

The night itself culminates in injury for one of the WAGs and another covering the red carpet for FOX8.

AGONY AUNTS

ABC1, 9.30pm

Three stars

THESE relationship questions are pretty much the same as the guys had in The Agony Uncles. When do you know it's love? When is it OK to lie? Wendy Harmer: Every time you go to bed with someone.

Denise Scott says she and her husband never argue about money, but she withholds telling him how much she spends on getting her hair coloured because he would never understand why it costs so much to cover grey. 

EAST TO WEST

SBS One, 9.30pm

Three and half stars

ANY show about civilisation has to start at Mesopotamia. The surprise here is the huge 12,000 year old pillars in southern Turkey, the first man-made monuments ever found. The next step was people settling down.

This was also in southern Turkey, more than 10,000 years ago, and the houses had ovens and roofs and were made of mud bricks. This is a riveting series about how we got to where we are now.

Thursday

THE BLOCK

Channel 9, 7pm

Three and a half stars

THE teams on The Block have faced a week on the tiles. Bathrooms are slippery territory for any renovator and this week proves that for the four teams.

More than one receives a dreaded visit from site inspector Keith (pictured). The strain is certainly starting to show if the "that bathroom is nothing like I wanted!" speech is anything to go by. There is also mild niggle over some after-hours noise and big noting over wins.

The game is certainly getting serious. Tune in to see who goes to water.

ISLAND FEAST WITH PETER KURUVITA

SBS 8pm

Three stars

THE best cooking shows take you somewhere. Your favourite restaurant, your best holiday. Sydney chef Peter Kuruvita takes you somewhere you'd rather be. Tonight it's the Philippines as he introduces the show from the roof of a bus.

First up is crab salad, wok-fried empanadas, pork belly that won't get the Heart Foundation tick and a local salad that would.

SILK

ABC1, 8.30pm

Three stars

WITH her personal life continuing to spiral, Martha Costello (Maxine Peake, pictured) takes on the case of a troubled youngster who needs to get out of prison to attend his mother's funeral. Wrestling with her own pregnancy, the boy's plight strikes a chord.

There are killer lines too, such as: "There is a thin line between helping people and self-indulgence." Oh, and there is the small matter of a shoplifting lawyer.

Friday

Stephen Fry

QI, ABC1, 8pm

Two and a half stars

SOMETIMES it feels like every time I turn on the TV the only things on are Big Bang Theory and QI. Thankfully, I still love a bit of QI, even if it occasionally feels like sitting in on a middle-aged yuppie's dinner party. Stephen Fry, looking even more like a slightly unkept Oscar Wilde, gives Wikipedia a run for its money with his amazing ability to recall the most obscure of facts and figures.

Revealing, among other things, that the original geishas were actually drag queens. Who knew? Sadly, this episode is missing The Trip's Rob Brydon, whose hang-dog face and dry wit really make the show sing.

MISS FISHER'S MURDER MYSTERIES

ABC1, 8.30pm

Two stars

OK, I have a confession to make. I love a spinster sleuth, especially a period drama one. Essie Davis is totally believable as the crime-fighting Miss Fisher.

This week isn't for the faint-hearted, opening with the grisly murder of a man with an instrument inserted into his nostril. Whatever happened to a spot of cyanide in the tea? Now that's a much more civilised (and less messy) way to bump someone off. 

SNOG, MARRY, AVOID

Eleven, 8.30pm

One and a half stars

I NEVER realised there were so many orange women in the UK. But this make-under series hosted by ex Atomic Kitten singer Jenny Frost provides a scary glimpse into the world of wannabe Katie Prices.

Frost persuades these women to do away with the slapped on make-up, cheap hair-extensions and hideous spray tans. Ignoring the Dexter-esque animated robot, this series is very entertaining.

Saturday

Tyra Banks

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

Fox 8, 7.30pm

Two stars

IT'S the all-star season of America's Next Top Model, which could also be known as "the contestants that didn't make it in the modelling world but make good reality TV" cycle.

Many of the most controversial contestants of the past - scaredy-cat Bree, aggressive Angelique and transsexual Isis - have returned for a second stab at the title.

Most have learned nothing from their first stint in the spotlight, which makes for great viewing. This week the girls are stretched by Tyra Banks as they dance on stilts for a shoot. 

ROCKWIZ

SBS, 8.30pm

Two stars

THOSE still mourning the loss of Spicks and Specks can find solace knowing that RocKwiz is still going strong. This rock music-focused quiz features the usually under-appreciated Julia Zemiro and Brian Nankervis, who've each been given more high-profile gigs of late - Zemiro on the ABC's Agony Aunts and Nankervis hosting the new Working Dog series Pictures of You on Channel 7. 

CULTURE X

NatGeo Adventure

9.30pm

Two stars

I HAVE always wished that I knew the ancient origins of sport - mostly so that, if I ever had the opportunity to use a time machine, I could pinpoint exactly when sport was created and make sure that it never, ever happened. So now I know.

And sports lovers, you should be very wary if I ever cross paths with a Time Lord. Enough said, except that if you are genuinely a sports fan, this is well made and worth a look.

Sunday

DANCING WITH THE STARS

Channel 7

6.30pm

Two stars

CAN Kerri-Anne Kennerley stay upright this week?

KAK has had her fair share of stacks this series, but remains the favourite to win - and it's easy to see why. The secret to this old girl's success is the fact she's one of the great Aussie entertainers. Who else could rip off a toenail, lose her hair extensions, take a tumble and flash her sparkled knickers but never stop smiling.

It's that kind of dedication to her craft that deserves a giant mirror-ball trophy. And we all know KAK loves a bit of bling. Come on Australia, give it to her. 

William McInnes

AUCTION ROOM WITH WILLIAM MCINNES

ABC1, 6pm 

Two stars

I HAVE loved William McInnes since he took over as Sigrid Thornton's love interest in SeaChange. At the time, I didn't think it possible anyone could replace David Wenham's quirky Diver Dan character.

But McInnes won Thornton and me over. Here, he does the same thing as host of a series about auction houses. He genuinely interacts with the people featured - even helping them shift heavy furniture.

LIP SERVICE

Showcase, 7.30pm

Two stars

THE British take on the L-Word, the unfortunately-titled Lip Service follows the lives and loves of Scottish lesbians. Grungier-looking than its American counterpart, it's the same sort of stuff. Cat is feeling guilty for cheating on her devoted wife Sam (Heather Peace) with her troublesome ex Frankie (Ruta Gedamintas). Essentially this is Melrose Place with an all-girl cast.

Monday

The Voice

THE VOICE

Channel 9, 7.30pm

Four stars

THE competition is heating up and so are Seal's efforts to reveal more of his chest to Australia. Each week the former Mr Heidi Klum seems to forget yet another button on his shirt. Who knows how far it will have plunged by the series end?

Is this an elaborate tactic to distract the opposing team's contestants? Or is The Voice just one big Seal striptease that will see him spin around in his chair on finale night wearing nothing but jocks? Only time will tell.

LOUIE

ABC2, 10pm

Two stars

LOUIE C.K. is the latest in a long line of American stand-up comics to make a sitcom loosely based on their own lives. Louie is a newly divorced dad raising two daughters. Like Jerry Seinfeld, Louie's live stand-up shows punctuate scenes with his TV family.

In this pilot episode, Louie helps on a school excursion, with fairly dark consequences. A third series has been approved, so it's possible it improves with age.

REVENGE

Channel 7, 8.30pm

Three stars

THE cast of Revenge must struggle to contain giggles when they deliver some of the dialogue served up in scripts. It becomes more apparent each week that the show does not fit into the drama category. It's soap. Soap rolled in glitter, but soap nonetheless. That's not to say it's unwatchable. As Emily (Emily VanCamp) and Daniel's upcoming engagement party looms, there's plenty of tension in the air.

Tuesday

Cameron Daddo

PACKED TO THE RAFTERS

Channel 7, 8.30pm

Three stars

CHANNEL 7 was slow to give Rafters the care it required when the cast began to get restless. The show now faces a future without several key stars and it will be a challenge to stay relevant. Brooke Satchwell and Cameron Daddo have been solid additions, but it won't be the actors who decide the long-term fate of Rafters, it will be its writers.

Tonight's episode is a patchy one - all about Dave (Erik Thomson) and his insecurities. The dream sequences are a distraction we don't need to get a handle on Dave's battle for emotional balance.

MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA

Channel 10, 7pm

Three stars

IT'S immunity challenge night and this week the contestants must cook off against celebrity chef Darren Robertson, former head chef of the famous Tetsuya's Restaurant in Sydney. Unlike previous series, this year's immunity challenges will be undertaken by groups rather than individuals, with the Sunday night winner able to select two of their fellow contestants to act as sous-chefs.

MISSING

Channel 7, 9.30pm

Three stars

UNTIL fairly recently, I had always considered Ashley Judd the cinematic kiss of death. With Missing, she's really proving that she can act in something with a genuinely engaging storyline, meaning we can now focus on the work without falling asleep or wanting to scratch out our eyes to make it stop.

Oh, and her face doesn't look remotely puffy in this either, not that I was looking.