Survivor advocate Tarang Chawla’s challenge to Steve Price

THE man who asked Steve Price about domestic violence on Q&A has challenged the radio personality about his “hysterical” comment.

LAST night on ABC’s Q&A, I asked what media and politicians can do to support cultural shifts so violence against women is not normalised.

I asked this because my sister Niki is a victim of men’s violence, and recently Eddie McGuire and his mates “joked” about drowning a female journalist.

Steve Price defended the comments as “banter” and especially didn’t like it when The Guardian columnist Van Badham took issue with his response.

“Eddie apologised immediately. If you listen to that broadcast in context, it was a bunch of blokes laughing about things they shouldn’t have laughed about,” he said.

Price said that just because someone is a woman, it doesn’t mean they’re the only ones who can get upset.

Now, I’d like to address Steve Price directly by saying this: the thing is, Steve, I agree with you … but with one small caveat. And I’d like to sit with you to talk about this if you accept such a public invitation.

I agree that men can be just as upset. I just think men should feel upset about different things.

Tarang Chawla reacts to Steve Price’s comments on Q&A.

From your position of influence as a media personality, I was hoping you’d be one of those. Steve, I remember when we learnt of my sister’s murder. Mum’s eyes were filled with an agony I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.

But dad’s pain – that was something else. You’re right; men can be just as upset, sometimes even hysterical, despite not having ovaries.

But there are facts that men need to acknowledge. One woman is murdered almost every week in Australia by a current or former partner.

Women are the majority of victims of intimate partner violence.

Men are the majority of perpetrators of intimate partner violence.

Nikita Chawla, who was allegedly killed by her jealous husband in Brunswick West, pictured with her older brother, Tarang Chawla.

And for each of us, we need to acknowledge that “jokes” which normalise violence against women are not OK.

Your friends aren’t being maligned because the so-called feminist agenda is out to get them.

This isn’t about your mates. This isn’t about you, Steve. This isn’t about me, either. This is about my beautiful sister. This is about every victim and their family who we have collectively failed through a lack of action.

This is about every survivor who needs access to community legal services and support to live a life free from fear. These are the real issues which should upset men.

Language and attitudes are an integral part of this. Research commissioned by Our Watch in 2015 of 1616 young people, found that more than one in five young people held attitudes which put them at risk of perpetrating violence against women.

Almost a third of young women said a male had made her feel frightened.

Steve addresses the Eddie McGuire issue on Q&A.

Steve, sexist comments thinly disguised as “banter” are part of a complex problem.

They feed a culture of male privilege and entitlement that lead to victim-blaming, justifying violence and excusing misogynistic attitudes.

It doesn’t have to be that way, and accepting that won’t take away your privilege.

As others on the panel pointed out – we’ve come a long way. But there’s still a long way to go to make gender equality a reality in our country.

Steve, you can get upset because your mates’ jokes weren’t that all funny, or you can be upset because women are being murdered.

It’s your call, mate.

Tarang Chawla is a survivor advocate, legal policy commentator, writer and Our Watch ambassador