Wild HBO documentary, There Is No ‘I’ In Threesome, drops in Australia

A couple have filmed their experience in a polyamorous relationship for a truly wild HBO documentary, which hits Aussie screens tonight.

Before exchanging “I do’s”, there was something important Jan Oliver Lucks and fiancee Zoe felt they needed to do.

Have sex with other people and film it.

Using their iPhones, the pair recorded their six-month exploration of polyamorous love.

Their probing journey – to ménage à trois or nah? – is the subject of a new docudrama, There Is No ‘I’ In Threesome, which airs on Foxtel’s Fox Showcase channel tonight at 8.30pm AEDT, or is available to watch On Demand.

“Sex can be a performance or an act,” German-born, New Zealand-based filmmaker Lucks, 37, said.

“Depending on who your dance partner is, you change the way you act and dance.”

New Zealand filmmaker Jan Oliver Lucks and fiancee Zoe go on a polyamorous journey in HBO documentary There Is No ‘I’ In Threesome.

After dancing a duet as monogamous lovers for years, Lucks and Zoe agreed that they were curious about polyamory – a lifestyle that can be defined as sharing an intimate relationship with more than one romantic partner.

“Non-monogamy was something that we had on our minds before we started our relationship,” said Lucks, who directs and co-stars in the film. “We just hadn’t explored it.”

According to the terms of their open relationship, both he and Zoe were free to engage in heterosexual or same-sex romantic encounters with others.

They had to clearly communicate the details of their extra-relational rendezvous with each other beforehand and afterwards.

Lucks and Zoe then had the option to add the other person as a third to their non-traditional fold.

“It brought out different aspects of our behaviour in the bedroom. We were pushed into new territory,” said Lucks, who previously considered himself a “sexual underachiever” due to his lacklustre love life in college.

“We would have an experience with someone else, and then bring it (or them) into our relationship and our bed afterwards,” he continued.

“It really enriched our sex life.”

Watch There Is No ‘I’ In Threesome on Foxtel Now. New customers get a 10-day free trial. Sign up at foxtel.com.au

The pair documented their experience for the TV special.

No desire was deemed too taboo.

The pair tried a little bit of everything, from participating in sex parties to BDSM to watching one another have sex with other partners via Skype. They enjoyed it all.

“It was so easy to become enamoured with the attention and the excitement and the sex and the infatuation,” Lucks said.

But as the saying goes: You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.

“Jealousy does arise,” Lucks said. “Suddenly, your partner needs you for less things. Now, there are other men (in her life).

“There were certainly times when I would let things go further than I’d felt comfortable with, but I knew we were making a good film.”

At one point, Lucks asked a clearly besotted Zoe if she’d be willing to end a burgeoning romance with one of her more enchanting dates.

But Zoe was reluctant to walk away from the other lover.

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The couple seem to have the whole open relationship thing down pat at the beginning.

When jealousy and insecurity became overwhelming, the film project became Lucks’ lifeboat.

“The film became quite crucial to my wellbeing,” he said.

“I leaned on it heavily in hard times. I knew I had to see this through.”

Despite the emotional turbulence Lucks endured during his foray into non-monogamy – not to mention the toll it took on his and Zoe’s relationship – he said he’d do it all again.

And while his expedition into the world of open relationships and polyamory came at a surprising cost – we won’t spoil the twisty ending – Lucks appreciates the insight he gained into Zoe’s character before potentially walking down the aisle.

“We also learned a lot about each other, and found out how we worked as a couple. It was quite valuable, figuring it all out before marriage,” he said.

This story originally appeared on NY Post and has been reproduced here with permission

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