Succession finale recap: Logan Roy’s bombshell decision causes anarchy

We didn’t see this one coming. A major bombshell has thwarted everyone’s ambitions in an epic Succession cliffhanger. Warning: Spoilers.

WARNING: Spoilers ahead for Succession episode 9, ‘All the Bells Say’

Before we get into the chaotic events of the Succession finale the first question we’re all dying to know … Is Kendall Roy dead?

Those who have been hungover and looked like this rocking up to a family gatho will probably say yes.

We’ve all been there and yes we died.

But alas, Kendall is OK after almost drowning himself in the pool at the tail-end of episode 8.

Meanwhile in Tuscany, Logan gets a testy phone call. Gerri informs Shiv, Roman, Connor and cousin Greg that the DoJ are going to lay historic charges after all.

But they’re more concerned about their deal with GoJo – the tech company Waystar Royco is trying to acquire – that now want to explore other options.

Logan and Roman immediately go to see GoJo founder Madsen (Alexander Skarsgard), and as expected Logan wastes no time with pleasantries.

“So are we doin’ this f**kin’ merger or not?” he blurts, seconds after he steps on Madsen’s luxurious estate. “I understand your board is looking at other options but if we stay tight, this can work. So, shall we dance?”

An almost equally abrupt Madsen tells Logan he doesn’t think Waystar has the right technology to be successful going forward. Always prepared, Logan tells him he doesn’t have the content. Together, they could be great.

“But we’re flying like a rocket ship and you’re sinking like a lead balloon. You and your business are just too f***ing old,” Madsen says.

Phwoar. Logan did say he wanted a dance.

After a few barbs, Madsen says he wants to take over the company if they merge.

Despite saying he’s not open to it, Logan actually looks like he’s entertaining the idea. Roman’s face is red flag central. Logan kicks Roman out of the meeting and sticks around, but we – the viewers – aren’t privy to what happens.

A blindside is afoot.

Logan and Roman meet with Madsen to save their deal.

Afterwards, the Roy siblings all converge for brunch for a Kendall intervention.

Kendall takes offence and tells them all they’re the ones who need interventions, before going on a sob story about how rough it is being the heir to the empire and having it stripped away.

Out of the blue, Connor has a meltdown about how he’s “THE ELDEST SON. WHAT IF I WANT TO TAKE OVER BECAUSE I AM THE ELDEST SON. I AM THE ELDEST SON. I am the eldest son of dad.”

Did you know Connor is the eldest son?

Meanwhile, it’s all systems go for Caroline’s wedding day. Weddings in Succession world have become somewhat of a recipe for disaster and this one is no exception.

It doesn’t take long to implode. After speeches, Shiv and Roman cotton on to the fact their dad has possibly agreed to Madsen’s deal for GoJo to buy Waystar.

They’re shocked. They never thought their dad would sell out. The only person who seems unfazed – shockingly – is Kendall, whose mind is elsewhere despite the fact this is all he’s cared about for three seasons.

“Shiv, I’m not here. There’s something really wrong with me Shiv. I’m not feeling very connected to my children or my endeavours right now. I’m not a good person. I’m bad,” he says.

Suddenly, he comes clean to killing the waiter in the season 1 finale in a car crash after Shiv’s wedding. “They’re gonna come for me,” he says.

Roman says it was the “road and the water that killed him”, and could you get any more Roy?

In the middle of Kendall’s psychotic break, Shiv gets the call that Logan is selling to GoJo and the GoJo board is taking over. She impatiently pats Kendall on the head and they all forget it ever happened to go and beg their dad not to sell.

You have approx 30 seconds to have a psychotic break.

In the car on the way, Shiv, Kendall and Roy all decide they’re going to push Logan out and fight for CEO between themselves.

Logan admits he wants to sell and tells them this is their chance to do something with their lives. The trust fund babies are floored.

Shiv threatens to kill the deal given Logan needs their votes for a majority.

But, as always, Logan is 10 steps ahead, with an unlikely assassin to load his smoking gun.

He gets Caroline on speaker phone, and reveals, “Your mother and I have been reviewing the terms of the divorce agreement. And we’ve agreed that the arrangements were a little antiquated.”

Essentially, in re-arranging their divorce agreement so Caroline could keep the London townhouse she wanted, she screwed up her children’s super majority blocking powers.

“You slit us in the throats, Mum,” Shiv spits.

Logan’s parting words to his distraught children? “I. F***ing. Win.”

Succession season 3 is available to stream on Foxtel