The one gross question viewers want answered about Australian Survivor

AS contestants load up on massive reward meals, there’s one unavoidable question about Australian Survivor that keeps pooping — sorry, popping — up.

AS days turn into weeks on Australian Survivor and the two tribes starve, then binge, then starve again, viewers of the show keep raising one curly question.

WHERE DO THE CONTESTANTS DO THEIR POOS AND WEES?

Do they go to an actual bathroom somewhere off-camera? Do they dig a hole? Hide behind a bush?

Do they go in the ocean? Dear lord, tell us they don’t go in the ocean. Those lagoons are mighty still at times, and nobody wants a brown king tide.

Look, we’re not being gross for the sake of it, guys. People actually want to know the answer to this question.

@Dean_Nye EVERYONE POOS IN THE OCEAN ON SURVIVOR. NO TOILET PAPER! #SurvivorAu

— L Phillip Lucas (@LPhillipLucas) August 21, 2016

Where do they go toilet on #SurvivorAU? Do they have to dig a hole or are there facilities provided?

— Baxters (@baxters) September 18, 2016

Doesn't anyone ever go to the bathroom? How is it so hard to get away from camp? Just say you need to poop #SurvivorAU

— Andrea Parsons (@andreaparsons) September 11, 2016

OK. Never let it be said that we’re not intrepid investigative reporters here at news.com.au. We got host Jonathan LaPaglia to clear the air:

“There is a porta-potty near their camp, yes. But that’s it, nothing else. I don’t think [the porta-potty] is particularly great, let’s say that,” LaPaglia told us.

“Environmentally, when somewhere like Samoa is kind enough to let us shoot there, we have to treat the place with a certain respect, and leave it as we found it. Sanitation is an issue.”

Calm down Kylie, you’ll probs be vomming it up in 20 minutes. Picture: NIGEL WRIGHT

You’re telling us — it’s all we think about every time the all-powerful Saanapu win another reward challenge then return to their camp for a stomach-churning feast of Roman orgy proportions (if Roman orgies were exclusively catered by Hungry Jacks).

Already this season we’ve watched Sam lose his lunch after eating half his body weight in local Samoan fare in one sitting, while Matt barfed after sculling a jug of chocolate milk in one foul gulp (milk, as the saying goes, was most certainly a bad choice).

It's time to go... To the toilet. Saanapu. Too much chocolate milk. 😂😂😂 #SurvivorAU

— Jamie Healey (@Bala_JJ) September 13, 2016

“I get it on one hand, because they’re out there living on beans and rice, so when something like that comes across their table they just can’t help themselves,” LaPaglia told us.

“But of course their stomachs have shrunk in those circumstances and just can’t handle that kind of load. That challenge where they won the Samoan feast, they just gorged and they all ended up being quite sick. But they just can’t help themselves.”

Please light a candle for their poor porta-potty. NIGEL WRIGHT

We also probed LaPaglia about his living conditions while on the island, which he admitted were more than a cut above those of the contestants. Come on, you didn’t think the host would be roughing it?

LaPaglia stayed in an overwater hut — complete with glass-bottomed living room — at the Coconut Beach Club, near to where filming took place on the south side of the island.

The resort where LaPaglia spent his nights, the lucky bugger.

This ain’t a plug, FYI, we just thought you’d be interested to know where exactly LaPaglia was bedded down when the contestants were spooning each other’s stinky bodies for heat each night.

The host made one somewhat feeble protest about his conditions at the resort: There was no telephone or TV in his overwater hut, so “If you wanted something, you had to hike all the way back to reception for it,” he said. The horror.

“But they’re out on the beach with literally nothing. I’d be woken up at two, three in the morning by pounding rain and I’d be annoyed, but those guys were out there with nothing but a banana leaf over their heads.

“The poor bastards.”

Please enjoy this picture of Lee showering that does not really relate to the story at hand. You’re welcome. Picture: NIGEL WRIGHT

Australian Survivor airs Sundays to Tuesdays, 7:30pm on Ten. Tribe merge coming this Sunday!